WASHINGTON, DC, 07:07 AM, MON NOVEMBER 23 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged ‘hilltards’

CONVENTION VIOLENCE

Hillary Clinton To Whip Her Own Supporters

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Lego Indiana Jones loves whippin' him some HilltardsThis is great news: “In an unusual move, Hillary Clinton’s staff is creating a 40-member ‘whip team’ at the Denver Democratic convention to ensure that her supporters don’t engage in embarrassing anti-Obama demonstrations during the floor vote on her nomination.” Whipping unruly Hilltards on the floor of the Democratic convention, well boy howdy. We want in. Imagine: some Bitter starts shouting about Nobama until you walk up, unfurl, then *WHOOSH* *CRACK* and it’s off to the races. Hillary & Barry cackle from afar, approvingly, as one. So where, pray tell, is the sign-up sheet? [Politico/The Crypt]


WHY THE DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION WILL BE AWESOME

Wednesday, August 13th, 2008

Typical Obama supporterPUMAPac FOUNDER HARRASSED BY DEAD BUNNIES: Darragh Murphy, one of Hillary Clinton’s most passionate advocates and the founder of a political action committee devoted to getting her elected or something, “said Obama supporters have harassed her and her followers by banging on their windows with pots and pans in the middle of the night, making phone threats and leaving dead rabbits on their doorsteps.” Yoiks. [New York Observer]


WHY SO CRAZY?

Republicans Have Questions For Barack Obama!

Friday, July 25th, 2008

No. No, you cannot ask.John McCain might have a crappy old web site that sells golfing gear, but the Republican National Committee is running a very sophisticated Interwebs operation on his behalf. It is so sophisticated that they finally stopped the clock counting how many days had passed since Obama had been to Iraq, and maybe they will even reset it next week, after the clock-winder gets back from his vacation in Orlando. But the very best part of this web site is a section called “Can We Ask?”, where visitors get to ask Barack Obama questions. They are predictably hilarious. MORE »


HILLTARDS

Wonkette A Part Of ‘Nobama Network,’ Hooray!

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

While the hub for Internet-Americans that hate Barack Obama is clearly Ed Hale’s hcsfjm.com, its closest rival appears to be the “Nobama Network,” which describes itself as “a portal site designed to bring together the Grass Roots Movements in America spawned by outrage over the actions of the DNC disenfranchising voters, reassigning delegates, selecting their illegitimate Nominee and diminishing the most basic factor that makes America great, our right to vote and be heard!” Among the sites on this “portal” are the 40-50 worst sites on the entire Internet. Including your Wonkette! MORE »


COURTSHIP

John McCain And Harriet Christian Fall In Love!

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008

So that’s John McCain on the left, you knew that, but who is that “elderly American woman” wearing the sunglasses indoors while posing for a photo? That’s Harriet Christian, the famous Hillary Clinton diehard who threw a fit at the DNC Rules and Bylaws Committee over its perceived bias towards the Democrats’ “inadequate black male” of a nominee, which landed her a Fox News appearance during which she said black people don’t even know why they voted for Obama. And now she will protest-vote for John McCain, who hosted a party for bitter Hilltards like Christian at his campaign headquarters over the weekend. They may look like a happy pair now, but soon enough she’ll be making wisecracks about his withering hair, and he’ll respond with a wisecrack of his own. [Via Kevin K. at Rumproast]


HILLTARDS

World’s Dumbest Website Headed Towards Higher Vistas

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

Ed Hale’s majestic website, Ex-Hillary Clinton Supporters For John McCain, has already conquered the Internet several times over, and is now looking towards new, uncharted waters: “print newspapers.” The next step in Evolution, avast! Here’s Ed’s rallying cry in the “plans” section of his site: “Ok, it is time to get serious and let the DNP know that we are not coming home in the fall. One of our member said it was time to take action and I agree.” PREPARE FOR THE NUCLEAR OPTION: a single half-page ad in one local tabloid newspaper. Appearing once! Ed’ll show these “shifty-eyeds” indeed! MORE »


TIM RUSSERT

But Was Tim Russert In The Tank For ‘Noobama’?

Friday, June 13th, 2008

If you check out the New York Times’ comments section on its Tim Russert “death” article, you will notice most of the commenters telling a certain “Lesley” to shut her fat face for being Insensitive. But there is no longer any comment by this pagan Lesley, because the New York Times censors free speech and has deleted the comment! We have secretly obtained Lesley’s manifesto, and she has some pointed criticisms of “Lil’ Russ.” We’ll give you a hint: she says “Noobama.” MORE »