hillary clinton
Oh noes, Secretary Clinton won’t be going on previously scheduled trips abroad this week, due to having her elbow amputated and replaced with a bionic joint that shoots laser beams and takes orders directly from the president, Dick Cheney. She needs to rest up and not shake hands with anybody, which means that attendees of [...]
Hey members of the public, did you pray for Hillary Clinton and her right elbow as they went into surgery today? Because thanks to you, her elbow is fine. Of course, if the woman had any decency she would have both of her elbows removed permanently. [First Read]
WHY IS OBAMA TRYING TO KILL ALL HIS IMPORTANT LADIES? Maybe that Sotomayor “slip” at the airport wasn’t an accident after all. “Secretary of State Hillary Clinton fractured her right elbow Wednesday during a fall, State Department officials said.” Look out, Janet Napolitano! [CNN]
All right, Jonathan Martin, you WIN THE NIGHT and ALSO THE FOLLOWING MORNING for this explosive exclusive thing on a truly boneheaded scheme to foster some sort of political alliance between the Clintons and Sarah Palin. The perpetrator: John Coale, prominent Palin pal, husband of Greta Van Susteren, and Clinton supporter who got his panties [...]
After a frightening round of campaigning in nearby Virginia, Bill Clinton has been given a long list of weird destinations, in hopes he will “keep busy” for the next eight years, far from polite Washington society. First came word of his appointment as special UN envoy to Haiti, which is known for its lack of [...]
They let Bono in the New York Times and Bob Dylan in the Pope’s castle and Beyonce in the President’s castle and Elton John into what’s her name’s funeral, so why not let Australian gloom singer Nick Cave into Hillary Clinton’s secret State Department lair? Oh wait, it’s the Libyan national security adviser? Sure, fine. [...]
James Carville and Paul Begala: they are lurking in the shadows of our nation’s capital, hidden behind a mysterious “door,” and when you open that door they will jump out wearing Batman suits and rape you before they steal your kidneys. Find out how you can get in on this one-in-a-millennium sexytime action, after the [...]
Once upon a time, a Democrat and a Republican vied for the seat in the House of Representatives newly vacated by a gun-totin’ conservodem who turned into Senator Hillary Clinton. The individual contenders in this race did not matter so much, because national Democrats and Republicans got involved and suddenly it was a REFERENDUM ON [...]
Let’s see, it’s … yep, it’s a day of the year, so that means another exciting “Help Hillary Pay Her Campaign Debt, With Your Money, Instead of, Say, the Clintons’ Fortune” email. Today’s spam comes from the “Actual Psychopathic Cajun,” Mary Matalin’s equally frightening spouse, James Carville. Just hit that DONATE button and fork over [...]
Nobody really knows what Hillary Clinton has been up to, work-wise, since she started her Secretary of State-ing a couple months ago. She went to China or somesuch, yes? And went on a bunch of international teevee programs and suffered through important geopolitical inquiries such as when she fell in love with her husband? Well, [...]
K-Lo (who we’ll remind you is now a Serious Artist and would like to be called by her Christian name, “Jennifer Lopez”) is terribly upset that Obama is speaking at Notre Dame’s commencement because Obama is pro-choice and is therefore incapable of reciting vaguely inspirational pleasantries for 25 minutes. [Firedoglake] Ditto Newt Gingrich, a non-Cathlolic, [...]
