Tag Archives: hillary clinton

  U r pathetic

You Really Hurt Giant Pussy Erick Erickson’s Feelings, You Jerks

Sticks and stones yadda yadda Who knew RedState editor and Fox News contributor Erick Erickson, son of himself, was such a giant pussy? Oh, sorry, we mean such a “insert euphemism of choice related to the female reproductive system”? Turns out, though, he is, and now he wants the entire genre of impotent gap-toothed subliterate conservative slash fic to “recalibrate”: Read more on You Really Hurt Giant Pussy Erick Erickson’s Feelings, You Jerks…
  We Now Return You To Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

Great Feminist Blog RedState Says Hillary Clinton Is An Ugly Ho

Talk to the hand, and also YOUR MOM Once upon a time, there was a guy with with a real dumb redundant name that is dumb, and for an entire millisecond, he fancied himself a great defender of womenfolk and decency. And fellow feminist icon Jeb! Bush declared him to be “on the side of women,” so it must be true. Read more on Great Feminist Blog RedState Says Hillary Clinton Is An Ugly Ho…
  Bern Noticed

Bernie Sanders Surging In New Hampshire Poll, So You Should Buy This Mug

Great Scott!
Bernie Sanders continues to be the under-the-radar, populist wild-haired guy from the Democratic wing of the Democratic Party, drawing enormous crowds (a record-stomping 28,000 in Portland, Oregon, on Sunday: 19,000 inside a sportsball arena, and the proverbial “over 9000” in an overflow area). He’s even ahead of Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire in a poll released Tuesday evening. The Franklin Pierce University/Boston Herald poll shows Sanders leading Clinton 44-37 percent among likely Democratic primary voters, which is the first time Bernie has actually outpolled Hillz in the Granite State. Read more on Bernie Sanders Surging In New Hampshire Poll, So You Should Buy This Mug…
  squeal for me baby

You (Probably) Won’t Have Sexy Daddy Rick Perry To Kick Around, Fap To

Stupid Fox News. Stupid RNC. Stupid everyone who didn’t support Rick Perry and made him debate at the kids’ table and now he is out of money and doubtless going to be the first to drop out of the presidential race because he is having to do mortifying things like “fly commercial” and who are we going to diddle our beans at now, beady-eyed ferret-dad Scott Walker? Rick Perry may be A Idiot, but he’s got a real purty mouth, and we like to look at it and think bad thoughts, STOP JUDGING ME YOU’RE THE ONE WHO GOT A BONE FOR AARON SCHOCK. Read more on You (Probably) Won’t Have Sexy Daddy Rick Perry To Kick Around, Fap To…
  get a brain moran

Jeb! Bush So Mad Hillary Clinton Invaded Iraq

Um … what? We thought Jeb! Bush had learned his lesson about not saying words on the subject of Iraq. You know, because of that one time he was still for the invasion, and then had a confuse about the yes-or-no question of “knowing what we know now, would you still invade Iraq, yes or no?” (see, trick question!), and then he was quite sure it was disrespectful to The Troops to even talk about it, and then he was against the invasion, but in a respectful-to-the-troops sort of way. And all in the course of a single week! Read more on Jeb! Bush So Mad Hillary Clinton Invaded Iraq…
  Excellent News For Democrats

Republicans Demand Mean A-Hole For President

This time he means it!
Better give the people what they want So remember that one time when Republicans had their first presidential debate, and Donald “Trump” Trump was an a-hole because being an a-hole is his brand? And all the Very Serious Pundits declared this was the beginning of the end for Trump, because Republicans don’t really want an a-hole for president. Read more on Republicans Demand Mean A-Hole For President…
  Hillary be like ROTFLMAO

Hillary Clinton Can’t Stop Laughing At Dumbass Republicans

This election is going better than 2008, we think.
Donald Trump is under the impression he won Thursday’s debate, but that honor may actually go to America’s queen, Hillary “Hillz” Clinton, who seems to be having a gay old time, no homo, making fun of all the doofuses and dillweeds what are running against her on the Republican side. First we have the video above, which her campaign released just in case people missed the debate and want to see what happened. It’s got Jeb! Bush not knowing when the primaries are, Rand Paul and Chris Christie slap-fighting like schoolchildren, Donald Trump calling every lady in America a “fat pig,” and so on. Read more on Hillary Clinton Can’t Stop Laughing At Dumbass Republicans…
  Enjoy Your Fifteen Minutes

Carly Fiorina Won Happy Hour! Could Someone Explain Why?

You can make those botoxed lips smile, you can do it!
You can make those botoxed lips smile, you can do it! America’s political talkers had a simultaneous consensus-gasm following the Second Tier Loser’s Debate Thursday night, and they proclaimed failed Hewlett-Packard CEO and losing Senate candidate Carly Fiorina the big winner of the hourlong ratings death march. We honestly have no idea why, except maybe it had something to do with her not being a complete stiff or a nebulous cipher. All we heard was the usual GOP nonsense in a slightly higher vocal register, and a complete lack of any Demon Sheep. Read more on Carly Fiorina Won Happy Hour! Could Someone Explain Why?…
  YOOOOOGE

Donald Trump Already President Of All You Overrated Losers

Donald Trump built a fence around the other candidates, and it was luxurious. So that “debate” thingie last night, you saw it, yes? Where nine of America’s biggest losers pulled out their gruesome dick junk and showed it to Fox News’s Megyn Kelly and Bret Baier on live television, but nobody was paying attention, because Donald Trump’s dick junk is the yooooogest and classiest and most beautiful dick junk in all of America, and also big rapey Mexico? Yes, that thing. So the overwhelming consensus, according to Donald Trump, is that Donald Trump built a fence around that fucking debate and made it his next wife, and if you don’t understand that, well, you probably are gay for Megyn Kelly, who is overrated and a loser: Read more on Donald Trump Already President Of All You Overrated Losers…
  The Browns Will Defeat The Rainbow!

Erick Erickson: Fertile Latinos Will Breed Permanent GOP Majority, Strong Like Bull

Just lie back and think of gerrymandering
Oh, sure, you liberals may be feeling pretty chuffed with how well 2015 has been going for you, what with your Obamacare surviving and your Supreme Court Victory for Sodom, and your beloved Barry Bamz just having a fine time being a highly mobile duck who isn’t the least bit lame, but the real joke is on YOU, according to Teabagging never-nude Erick Erickson. You see, he knows that conservatives have a secret weapon in their quiver, and that is the fact that the Latins will out-breed you birth-controlling liberals and you queerfolk what can’t make babbies at all. Welcome to extinction, you with all your abortions! Read more on Erick Erickson: Fertile Latinos Will Breed Permanent GOP Majority, Strong Like Bull…
  You punch your mother with that fist?

Who Is Chris Christie Punching In The Face Today?

You shut up, and you shut up, and you shut up
New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is a raging dick — but that’s not a bug, it’s a feature. It’s his brand, and he’s damn proud of it, and he’s never going to change, eff you, buddy. His pitch to voters is: “It’s time to start offending people.” This strategy has worked well for him in New Jersey, where 65 percent of voters are only saying he’d be a god-frickin’-awful president because they lurve him so much, they want to keep him for themselves. Read more on Who Is Chris Christie Punching In The Face Today?…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: A Real Marine In National Security Warns Wonkette To Leave Iran

OK, so maybe it's not THIS Marine...
Funny how it all works out: Even during a week when our little mommyblog, recipe hub, and ugly vile little snark mob was brought low by server issues for a day and then some, we had an astonishing number of deleted comments, mostly thanks to 1) an idiot dentist with blood lust (no, not Jack Nicholson in Little Shop of Horrors OR Lawrence Olivier in Marathon Man) and 2) A few really determined trolls on other stories. Let’s get straight to the latter, a garrulous fellow simply named “Ben,” who warned us that Morgan Freeman is lying to America about the Iran nuclear deal: Read more on Deleted Comments: A Real Marine In National Security Warns Wonkette To Leave Iran…
  'Slumber 101' Instruction Book Not Included

Ted Cruz Tells Obama And Clinton To Stop Rubbing Their Lithe Bodies All Over Islamic Tyrants

Why is Obama so afraid of this man?
Ted Cruz has apparently had enough of all the Hitler rhetoric over the Iran nukes deal, and is now suggesting that Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and John Kerry want to have a hot swinger foursome with Iran and maybe even a big ol’ sex-pile with other Enemies Of America. Read more on Ted Cruz Tells Obama And Clinton To Stop Rubbing Their Lithe Bodies All Over Islamic Tyrants…
  Letter to the editor

Hillary Clinton Asks New York Times To F*ck Off And Die, Thanks

That's her 'screw you' smile
It would appear that Madame Mrs. Secretary President-Elect (Almost) Hillz R. Clinton is a tad miffed that the New York Times published a completely not true in any way whatsoever story about her last week, gosh, can’t imagine why! First, the Times reported that the Department of Justice is maybe going to do a criminal investigation into Hillary Clinton using her personal email to forward classified documents to her yoga instructor, or something like that. But then the Times very slowly, over several days, changed its story to say OK, there is no criminal referral, and OK, it’s not about Hillary Clinton doing a bad, and OK, those documents weren’t classified at the time, but how were we supposed to know that? What are we, journalists? We’ll try to journalism better next time, maybe, even though we have no idea how we FUBAR’d this story so bad, oh well, shrug, whatcha gonna do? Read more on Hillary Clinton Asks New York Times To F*ck Off And Die, Thanks…
  Cannot unsee

Donald Trump Does Not Want To See Your Disgusting Baby-Feedbags

Don't show him your tits
BREAKING: Donald Trump is kind of a dick! No, really, that’s the latest scoop from the New York Times, which reviewed “hundreds of pages of sworn testimony” from a decade’s worth of Trump lawsuits. (He is, as we have previously mentioned, a litigious shouty-faced douche-jockey.) Read more on Donald Trump Does Not Want To See Your Disgusting Baby-Feedbags…
  Yep he's just trolling now

Donald Trump Knows Climate Change Is Just Classy, Luxurious Version Of Weather

CLASSY
Donald Trump would build a YOOOOOOOGE fence around climate change, if it even existed: “The real climate change is going to be nuclear climate change if we’re not smart and tough and very, very careful because that’s a big danger and that’s a real danger,” Trump said. “I think Obama just said that the biggest threat that we have on the planet today is climate change, and a lot of people are saying, did he really say that? We have people chopping off heads and he’s talking about climate change. I call it weather. I call it weather. You know, the weather changes.” Read more on Donald Trump Knows Climate Change Is Just Classy, Luxurious Version Of Weather…