Tag Archives: hillary clinton

  If It's Sunday It's A Good Thing There's A 2:00 Replay

Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary

We have to admit, Wonketteers, that we did not stick to our Chuck Todd diet. We really did intend to get up every Sunday for Meet the Press to see Chuck’s tough questioning of the Biggest Names in News and stay in shape with his touchscreen map upper-body workouts, but it wasn’t until his first show after the Democrats were sent to live on the farm upstate that he enticed us to come back by landing an EXCLUSIVE interview with Scott Walker, King of Wisconsin. Read more on Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary…
  Here have some news n stuff

Not Ready For Hillary? Too Bad, Facebook Already Made Her President

The winner already apparently
In case you didn’t get the memo, it is already 2016. It is soooooo already 2016. In fact, Facebook is already projecting the winner of the next presidential election, so everyone else who’s just getting started on teasing about hinting about exploring the idea of thinking about announcing a run for the White House can just pack up and go home because it’s already over. According to ABC News, this BREAKING! EXCLUSIVE!!! information shows that — hang on to your hats, folks, this is big — Hillary Clinton has more likes and interactions on Facebook than any of those Republican also-rans, so we can pretty much call it a day and start practicing saying Madam President.Guess it’s pretty convenient we didn’t even have to bother voting, huh? Read more on Not Ready For Hillary? Too Bad, Facebook Already Made Her President…
 

All-Knowing, Omnipotent Chuck Todd Says God Or Obama Is Dead (Same Difference)

Chuck Todd loves nothing more to magisterially pronounce the end of things (and then sheepishly apologize). A few weeks ago, he determined, in his usual godlike way, that Alison Lundergan Grimes had “disqualified” herself for the U.S. Senate by refusing to answer a question about who she’d voted for. (Considering she was an Obama delegate, it was probably Obama, but WHO CAN EVER KNOW???) Read more on All-Knowing, Omnipotent Chuck Todd Says God Or Obama Is Dead (Same Difference)…
  It’s only nepotism when Democrats do it

Spawn Of Irving Kristol Sick Of Democrats Who Pretend To Make It On Their Own

Who you callin' stupid?
Mouth-breathing uber-moron Bill Kristol came from nothing, absolutely nothing, to pull himself up by his own diapers and build his illustrious career as one of the most prominent Being Wrong About Everything Ever Always columnists in history. Which is why he feels completely vindicated in mocking those dumb Democrats who are always using their family connections to advance their careers, which is something no conservative, and certainly not Kristol, has ever done. Read more on Spawn Of Irving Kristol Sick Of Democrats Who Pretend To Make It On Their Own…
 

Andrea Mitchell Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Whatev, Andrea
Have you heard the story about the president who got a blowjob from a lady who wasn’t his wife? Sure you did. Because that blowjob would be old enough to drive a car by now, and lots of hack “journalists” cut their teeth typing out the scintillating details of semen stains and cigars. Which is why they are the one subspecies on this planet, and probably any other in the universe, that can never forget. The world marches on, a president leaves office, another one steals his seat, then another takes his place — but the Very Serious Journalists will never let go of The Blowjob. Read more on Andrea Mitchell Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things…
  Now From Our Boise Bureau

Idahoans Like Butch Otter, Hate Hillary Clinton, Go Both Ways On Potatoes

Looks like the pogayto will be getting a lot of work now
Our pals at Public Policy Polling (we like to say they’re our pals, but they don’t know us from Adam’s off ox) have graced us with a poll on the Idaho midterm elections, and you will be astonished to learn that Idahoans are probably going to elect a bunch of Republicans again. Read more on Idahoans Like Butch Otter, Hate Hillary Clinton, Go Both Ways On Potatoes…
  Did Romney Ever Get This Reaction?

Nice Time: Little Girl Meets Hillary Clinton, Joyously Freaks Out

This is 10-year-old Macy Friday, who was in the crowd at Denver’s Union station Monday when Hillary Clinton came to Colorado to campaign for Sen. Mark Udall. Hillz saw Macy in the crowd, waved her over for pictures, and Macy instantly earned her place as an icon of Kid Enthusiasm, which frankly is the very best kind there is. That right there is a genuine “I got a puppy, no, TWO puppies!” face. Read more on Nice Time: Little Girl Meets Hillary Clinton, Joyously Freaks Out…
  Your Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow Reminds Us Of That Time Nancy Reagan’s Astrologer Ran The White House (Video)

We don't even WANT context for this
Monday’s Rachel Maddow Show started off with one of those meandering historical backgrounders, and as sometimes happens, that intro is in some ways even more interesting than the main story. It’s all about another tell-all by a former cabinet member, Donald Regan’s 1988 book in which the bitter former Reagan chief of staff revealed that just about every major decision in the Reagan White House was affected by Nancy Reagan’s consultations with an astrologer. It’s a glorious trip down WTF lane that leaves you astonished at just how much the Cult of Reagan was willing to overlook. These weren’t just sketchy rumors from some third-rate tabloid about the president maybe being a Muslim (because he pronounces “Pakistan” with un-American syllables), but actual reliance on occult hoodoo nonsense that teevee evangelists regularly decry as flirting with demons and witchcraft. But Reagan was Reagan, so sure, Nancy’s astrologer got to decide the daily schedule for the Leader of the Free World. Read more on Rachel Maddow Reminds Us Of That Time Nancy Reagan’s Astrologer Ran The White House (Video)…
  All The Derp What's Fit To Herp

Derp Roundup: Yes, Stevie Wonder Truthers Are A Thing

Ebony And Irony
Oh, golly, it’s time for another Derp Roundup, a chance for us to bring you some of the stories that were just too damned stupid to ignore altogether, but which didn’t quite merit a post of their own. You may want a good stiff serving of the reality-amending chemical compounds of your choice before you expose yourself to this stuff. Read more on Derp Roundup: Yes, Stevie Wonder Truthers Are A Thing…
  whoa if true

Wingnuts Find Hillary Clinton’s Love Letters To Saul Alinsky, Lenin, David Cassidy

It's a great day for commies and mommies!
While you were all enjoying your Sabbath day of rest, the Washington Free Beacon — the digital equivalent of Sunday paper circular ads you toss in the trash without looking at them — was breaking a HUGE SCOOP!!!!! Are you guys ready for this? The Beacon has found Hillary Clinton’s letters to noted Communist mole Saul Alinsky! Read more on Wingnuts Find Hillary Clinton’s Love Letters To Saul Alinsky, Lenin, David Cassidy…
  clipbait

You’ll Never Believe Who Jon Stewart Just Endorsed For President! (Video)

yeah, that one hurt
Jon Stewart had some fun with the seemingly eternal pre-campaign campaign season Tuesday, as Hillary Clinton flew to Iowa so she could once again announce that she may soon have an announcement to make about running for president. And now that she’s attended the 37th annual Tom Harkin Steak Fry, the die is cast. Maybe. (Stewart was most surprised to hear that retiring Sen. Harkin has a steak fry at all, especially after “all those years spinning my wheels at Sen. Daniel Patrick Moynihan’s Crawfish Boil.”) Read more on You’ll Never Believe Who Jon Stewart Just Endorsed For President! (Video)…
  Just A Distraction From ISIS

Get Ready For Your Big Benghazi HearingPalooza

It's baaaaack
Just in time for election season, the Great Big Benghazi Hearings and Airing of Grievances are starting Wednesday, so get ready for yet another round of Fox stories about “stand down” orders, Barack Obama sleeping on the job, and of course Susan Rice covering up the attack by saying that it started as a demonstration against an anti-Muslim video (which it did). Read more on Get Ready For Your Big Benghazi HearingPalooza…
  first day of school

Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills

Chuck Todd is so excited, you guys! It’s his first week as the new host of Meet the Press. That other guy with two first names failed his way into a $4 million buyout and NBC, looking to bring back the powerhouse once steered by Tim Russert, took the opportunity to slip Tim’s son Luke and Morning Misery Joe Scarborough in along with Chuck to lend the proper gravitas. We couldn’t wait to see Chuck’s debut Sunday morning, by which we mean we slept in and caught the late rerun. Read more on Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah’s Deeply Weird Ice Bucket Challenge

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented by Fartknocker
A man gave us money to watch the Sarah Palin Channel. That man was Fartknocker. The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge! It’s the viral video sensation that’s blowin’ up your teen’s sexxxphone, or it would be if teenagers still used Facebook. And now that she’s done creating a perfect truth echo-sphere, Sarah Palin’s aware of this Ice Bucket Challenge too. So when the owners of Wasilla’s local Arctic Cat retailer challenged Palin to dump some cold water on her head, the Snow Machine Princess of Seward’s Folly delivered. Read more on The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Sarah’s Deeply Weird Ice Bucket Challenge…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Messages Of The Day: If You Read The Bible, You’d Know How Real Demons Are, You Moron

Do you believe in magic?
Time for another trip to the comments queue well, where we skim off the finest of our would-be commenters’ contributions. First up, a real treat: an actual good old-fashioned email sent to Yr. Doktor Zoom by “Vinbin76,” who had a bone to pick with us after we made fun of that dumb WND piece selling DVDs by claiming that Robin Williams committed suicide because of demonic possession. It’s a tad long, so we’ll tighten it up a bit. Vinbin76 takes a dim view of most Christians and an even dimmer view of Yr Doktor Zoom: Read more on Deleted Messages Of The Day: If You Read The Bible, You’d Know How Real Demons Are, You Moron…
  Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment

Drudge Sirens! You’ll Never Believe This Shocking Drudge News About Sarah Palin And Hillary Clinton!

Why, that's just UNPOSSIBLE!
Wonkers, we sure hope you’re sitting down! The Drudge Report has shocking news about a shocking poll that will give you an Alaska Shocker, which is like a regular Shocker except its icy cold shockingness will leave you with Polaroids. Hope you’re sitting down, because here is the Drudge Report’s tweeted Shocker: Read more on Drudge Sirens! You’ll Never Believe This Shocking Drudge News About Sarah Palin And Hillary Clinton!…
  Let It Go

Cool Robin Williams Story, Maureen Dowd

Maureen Dowd has been eating jazz cookies again. One time she met Robin Williams, which makes her think about her friend Michael Kelly, who later died covering the war in Iraq, and that’s why Hillary Clinton is a monster. Wait, what? Read more on Cool Robin Williams Story, Maureen Dowd…
  media circus

Two Stories About Obama, Clinton, ISIS, and Iraq. One Is By Dana Milbank, And One Is Correct

Dana Milbank wants to know why Barack Obama keeps going on vacation even though Dana Milbank assures you that even busy presidents should get vacations and they can keep on presidenting even while they are on vacation but still why is Barack Obama on vacation? Jeb Lund, also known as that dick Mobute, wants you to know that Hillary Clinton can suck a cock. One of these pundits is correct. Read more on Two Stories About Obama, Clinton, ISIS, and Iraq. One Is By Dana Milbank, And One Is Correct…
  clipbait

Here Is Hillary Clinton Being Pretty Funny On Colbert (Video)

Do you hate Hillary Clinton? We do sometimes, like for instance for most of the 18 years since her husband signed the Welfare Reform Act. But then she showed up for her first hello at State and the career diplomats cheered for diplomacy and the absence of Condi Rice, and we cried, because we are a girl. Read more on Here Is Hillary Clinton Being Pretty Funny On Colbert (Video)…
  Shocked and Awed

BENGHAZI Update: House Republican Committee Calls All Other Republicans Liars

Here we go again. Another House committee, controlled by Republicans, has issued yet another wackadoodle report about BENGHAZI. Are we going to finally find out that President Obama was taking body shots off of Hillary at the time of the attack, laughing about telling everyone to “stand down”? What kind of conspiracy-tinged bullshit will be served up this time? Read more on BENGHAZI Update: House Republican Committee Calls All Other Republicans Liars…
  Joe Biden Swimming Deserves a Quiet Night

Old Naked Joe Biden

On clser examination, that's not OHJB doing the backstroke in a pool
The New York Daily News has the scoop on a new book that uncovers (Ha! Ha!) Old Handsome Joe Biden’s habit of swimming nude, just like John Quincy Adams, except not in the Potomac, so no lady reporters can sit on his clothes to get an exclusive interview. According to Wall Street Journal reporter Ronald Kessler’s The First Family Detail: Secret Service Agents Reveal the Hidden Lives of the Presidents, out later this week, Secret Service agents are a bit squicked out by the Vice President’s swimming attire: Read more on Old Naked Joe Biden…