Posts Tagged “Hillary Clinton”
she will jam your blackberry
Cover your ears, Obamacans: Walter Mondale's former campaign manager has constructed a bizarre and highly unlikely "nightmare scenario" for you that involves Hillary Clinton getting the vice presidential nomination without your Barry's permission, basically by guilting all the superdelegates into backing her.
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playing the gender card as if it were a fourth ace on the river
Aww, poor old Hillary must be feeling the pressure a little bit, because she's turning on the windshield wipers for the, what, third time? She cried again in a CNN interview today, this time while discussing her daughter. She says while crying that having Chelsea on the trail has been one of the "most incredibly gratifying experiences" of her life, and you know what? We'll grant her that. But then...
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Hillary Cries Over Chelsea, Politicizes Her
Aww, poor old Hillary must be feeling the pressure a little bit, because she's turning on the windshield wipers for the, what, third time? She cried again in a CNN interview today, this time while discussing her daughter. She says while crying that having Chelsea on the trail has been one of the "most incredibly gratifying experiences" of her life, and you know what? We'll grant her that. But then...
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criminy!
Uhh... why was there a dead girl lying on the floor of a Clinton rally in West Virginia yesterday? Did an emaciated Hillary need an emergency glass of children's blood to drink before speaking? She needs to stop doing this! But it is Hillary, and she cannot. After the jump, the pantsuit from Hell.
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Two Absolutely Terrifying Photos Of Hillary Clinton Supporters
Uhh... why was there a dead girl lying on the floor of a Clinton rally in West Virginia yesterday? Did an emaciated Hillary need an emergency glass of children's blood to drink before speaking? She needs to stop doing this! But it is Hillary, and she cannot. After the jump, the pantsuit from Hell.
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barack obama
Barack Obama is going to win in Oregon as big as Hillary won in West Virginia, but it will count for twice as many delegates. Also, he won the nomination. Still, he has to keep campaigning because Hillary will never ever quit the race, so he had to do this depressing Q&A with one of the "alt-weekly" papers in Portland. If you thought alt-weeklies were the last refuge of aging grunge losers, this interview really isn't going to change your view.
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Sorry, White Trash: Obama Will Not Get A Tattoo
Barack Obama is going to win in Oregon as big as Hillary won in West Virginia, but it will count for twice as many delegates. Also, he won the nomination. Still, he has to keep campaigning because Hillary will never ever quit the race, so he had to do this depressing Q&A with one of the "alt-weekly" papers in Portland. If you thought alt-weeklies were the last refuge of aging grunge losers, this interview really isn't going to change your view.
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what i didn't find on youtube
We are a little late to this party, sure, but look at this Clinton ad featuring the once glamorous Wilsons. They have replaced Joe Wilson and his sassy college-professor hair with an angry buzz-cut homunculus, while Sad Val looks like she was told not to shower for a few days before the shoot. Anyhow, the Wilsons want you to vote for Hillary because she will end the war and "get the job done." [YouTube via TPM Election Central]
When Did Joe Wilson Cut His Hair?
We are a little late to this party, sure, but look at this Clinton ad featuring the once glamorous Wilsons. They have replaced Joe Wilson and his sassy college-professor hair with an angry buzz-cut homunculus, while Sad Val looks like she was told not to shower for a few days before the shoot. Anyhow, the Wilsons want you to vote for Hillary because she will end the war and "get the job done." [YouTube via TPM Election Central]
west virginia mountain holler fun
Mary Lou Retton also hails from the fair state of West Virginia. And if Hillary Clinton were an athlete, she would be Mary Lou Retton in a fetching flag-themed leotard. What does Mary Lou Clinton have to say to the voters of West Virginia? Click the clicky and find out!
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Liveblogging Hillary Clinton's Best Victory Speech Of The Year
Mary Lou Retton also hails from the fair state of West Virginia. And if Hillary Clinton were an athlete, she would be Mary Lou Retton in a fetching flag-themed leotard. What does Mary Lou Clinton have to say to the voters of West Virginia? Click the clicky and find out!
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liveblogging
Nope, the primary season still isn't over — and tonight the Democrats' Death March to the White House leads straight through West Virginia, whose oppressed citizens only get to vote once a day. Grab a liter of grain alcohol, a six-pack of Grape Nehi, some squirrel jerky, and your favorite semiautomatic firearm on your way home from work and we'll see you back here tonight.
Join Us Tonight For The West Virginia Primary Spectacular!
Nope, the primary season still isn't over — and tonight the Democrats' Death March to the White House leads straight through West Virginia, whose oppressed citizens only get to vote once a day. Grab a liter of grain alcohol, a six-pack of Grape Nehi, some squirrel jerky, and your favorite semiautomatic firearm on your way home from work and we'll see you back here tonight.
soldiering on
Hillary Clinton's team of hard-working white Americans wrote a memo today. It is all about the importance of her winning the primary in the "key swing state" of West Virginia, which John McCain will win in a landslide in November. Read the memo in full after the jump.
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Clinton Memo: West Virginia Is Most Important State In Union
neato maps
Here is a map someone at Daily Kos made, and it's not even terrifying. OK, it is obviously terrifying in several ways. It is color-coded by votes in each county — blue for Barry, red for Hillary, green for that white guy who was running like 90 years ago. Florida, appropriately, looks like a barfy member. [Daily Kos]
Ha Ha, Hillary Is A Republican
good lord
"Undecided voter Wanda Gibson is less than excited about both Clinton and Obama, but she actually fears Obama, because he's black." [YouTube]
West Virginia Voters, We Salute You
"Undecided voter Wanda Gibson is less than excited about both Clinton and Obama, but she actually fears Obama, because he's black." [YouTube]
shocking admissions
Weird old Cajun swamp weasel James Carville called Bill Richardson and said he wanted his thirty pieces of silver back. Then a chicken made a sound three times and Carville was like, "Hillary who?" in an alarming visit to Furman University in Greenville, South Carolina, in which he said all sorts of damning things about his former friend Senator Hillary Clinton.
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James 'Judas' Carville Says Obama Is Likely Nominee
character analysis
According to learned graphology experts, Hillary Clinton is rigid and disciplined; John McCain has a fiery temper; and Barack Obama communicates well. These deep insights arrived after careful consideration of a few writing samples of each candidate, although any five-year-old who watches the news for two minutes might reach the same conclusion.
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Candidates' Handwriting Confirms Hillary Is Bossy, Obama's A Pushover, And McCain Is Nuts
spurious predictions
The untouchables who sit by the Ganges plucking human waste from the river hold the most thankless job in the world. The American vice president holds the second most thankless job in the world. So it's no surprise that most senators have zero interest in the position — except for Larry Craig, who admitted in a creepily protesting-too-much fashion that "I would say 'No, Hillary.'" What are some other hilarious things America's jokester senators might say to the presidential nominees if tapped for the number two spot?
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Which Loser Senator Will Not Be Offered The Vice Presidency?
hopeful dialogues
Obama-supporting Rep. Steve Cohen, of Tennessee, is very worried about Hillary Clinton hurting the Democratic party. So worried, Cohen is, that he made a colorful statement today about Hillz referencing some old Glenn Close movie. Basically, he wants Hillary to drown and will hold her head in the tub until the monster's lungs finally flood with water.
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Some Congressman Wants Hillary To Drown, Forever
Obama-supporting Rep. Steve Cohen, of Tennessee, is very worried about Hillary Clinton hurting the Democratic party. So worried, Cohen is, that he made a colorful statement today about Hillz referencing some old Glenn Close movie. Basically, he wants Hillary to drown and will hold her head in the tub until the monster's lungs finally flood with water.
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