Wonkette

Oh dear, we do not know how these Facebooks work because we are older than John McCain (and time, apparently). Anyway it looks like you can make Groups on these Facebooks, and here is a group that challenges all Republicans to FACEBOOK FRIEND John McCain so that he will have more friends than Hillary Clinton. This is funny because Hillary Clinton died months ago. Thanks to Wonkette Operative “Ian” for the tip. [The John McCain Facebook Challenge]

After spending all primary season complaining about what a policy lightweight Barack Obama was, now a whole pack of bigwig Clinton advisors have joined the Obama team. The gal with the robot rash on her forehead will proffer advice on the Middle East, while Madeleine Albright will lurk angrily in the background when Obama gives speeches. This is all a perfectly normal part of the political process wherein the winner slowly metabolizes the loser, leaving only a dry loser-shaped husk behind for its grieving relatives to worship. [New York Observer]

Ed Hale, creator of the World’s Greatest Website for pretend Hillary Clinton fanatics who WILL NOT VOTE FOR THE COLORED, has a favor to ask. Would you mind making Internet-radio commercials for his make-believe Internet Radio show against the Nobamas? You know, if you “think you have what it takes to be a radio star”? It is going to be a whole radio network — “The NO Obama Talk Show Network. A place where you can vent your angry against Obama.” Let’s vent our angry together. MORE »

You know what we haven’t done in a while, due to fatigue or nerves or hangovers or whatever it’s called? A Comment of the Day, that’s what! Let’s do one right now, and honor Mr. or Mrs. NebraskashireGentry for this smart economic advice in response to our tragic 4 a.m. Great Depression II post. MORE »

Someday soon-ish, Barack Obama will have to pick a running mate. Alas, it has been many moons since a celestial human born without Sin walked among us, so Our Barry is forced to pull his vice president from a pool of reprobates, losers, and women who are too attractive to be paired with such a handsome man. Seriously! Join us on our tour of three prospective candidates who will never ever be vice president. MORE »

• NEED… MORE… UNITY: “A day after Obama wrote a $4,600 check to Hillary Clinton, First Read has learned Bill and Hillary Clinton have returned the favor, donating the maximum to the Illinois senator’s campaign, a Clinton spokesperson says.” And Patti Solis Doyle has already spent all of this Unity Money on snow shovels for the upcoming Florida battle. [First Read]

Ugh, ack, yes, Barack and Hillary are having their UNITY rally right now, in UNITY NEW HAMPSHIRE, where they talk about UNITING for BLACK POWER… BARACK OBAMA up in this MUHFUCKA, with HILLZ. We missed most of it. Let’s liveblog what’s “left”! MORE »

Last night, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and a couple hundred of their wealthiest friends gathered at the beautiful Mayflower Hotel in Washington to talk about how Hillary could be pope if she wanted to, but she doesn’t, and instead she will serve the nation by collecting money to retire her gigundous campaign debt. MORE »