We have EMAIL PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE that Rep. Jim McDermott’s executive assistant/office manager/scheduler/pet dragon Elizabeth “Liz” Becton, the Meanest Lady in DC, was not simply having a “bad day” when she went nuts on someone, over e-mail, who mistakenly saluted her as “Liz.” Below are two more of Liz Becton’s run-ins with e-mail, in which she type-screams at entire listservs about GETTING THE LUNCH LADY’S NAME RIGHT, and swears to destroy a Mole scheduler who once leaked stuff to your Wonkette. MORE »

Politico WON THE MORNING today, and that’s not even an overused joke — it truly won! And the Shenanigans blog isn’t under the Link Ban, so ta-da: a link! The story is about an executive assistant at “McBee Strategic” e-mailing Elizabeth Becton, scheduler for Democratic Rep. Jim McDermott, to set up a meeting. Becton doesn’t respond for a while, so the assistant sends a follow-up e-mail — but this time with the salutation “Hi Liz,” thinking that’s what she goes by. Turns out she doesn’t, AND SHE REALLY DISLIKES IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL HER THAT. MORE »

A Hill staffer sends us this terrifying, confusing fax that just came in. Some Mexican just goin’ nuts. Complete insanity. What the fuck is this? “Borders are the arbitrary” WHAT? WHAT? Oh! The New Republic’s Jeffrey Rosen tells us that his legal friends heard from their legal friends who heard from Sally who heard from Stevie that this is clearly the work of that loudmouth Mexican idiot, Sonia Sotomayor.

‘Tis but one more moon until Tax Party Day, so Hill staffers should expect a veritable Ejaculation of insane teabagging art pamphlet mail today from their proudly Bitter constituents, who have become rather deft practitioners of the Microsoft Publisher application on their Hansen Writing Balls. Thank you to Hill operative “Bilbo” for the above letter.

A Hill staffer informs us that the Congressional Mail Room Security People are starting to go Code Mango on all tea bag anthrax letters, which is a tragedy, because now staffers can’t send us comical photos of the tea bags (unless they’re faxes!) And no more free treats for these poor worker bees! There’s always Nestle chocolate milk to steal, though. MORE »

A Hill staffer sends us this comical image and writes: “This fridge is located outside of the House Republican Conference in Longworth House Building. They seem to be moving offices, and this is a note they have attached to their fridge.” Be sure to read the very end, in which the Chocolate Milk Nazis note that the House Republican Conference “steals too much.” But perhaps the American People do not give a shit if some Hill staffers are drinking too much stolen chocolate milk?

A Senate staffer has heeded our call for pictures of Tea Party teabagger anthrax threat letters, and here we are. For those of you who are no longer able to decipher human handwriting, it reads, “THE SECOND AMERICAN REVOLUTION IS A VERY REAL POSSIBILITY,” and is written on the inside of the envelope. The tea… what is that, Lipton’s? Standard Lipton’s? Why that tea should make a delicious 3 o’clock treat for this lucky staffer.

Perhaps in honor of CPAC, but with no mention of CPAC at all, the Washington Post has run a delightful “color piece” this morning about what it’s for young Republican hatchlings looking for work in Washington, where they are no longer welcome. Basically there are about seven of these people, total, all gaming for one position at Grover Norquist’s tax place. Let us learn more about these out-of-luck patriots, by block-quoting a few of the funny things they say. MORE »

The Hill is all a-buzz today (sorta) with the news that ABC investigative reporter Brian Ross was booted from the National Beer Wholesalers Association and Brewers Association annual holiday reception last week when he showed up with a camera crew. The Beer Wholesalers’ receptions are epic events on the Hill, since they involve higher-end beer than is generally offered by House catering and the leftovers always mysteriously end up “up for grabs” when the night winds down. The segment, designed to show the average (oblivious) American how lobbyists spend money to influence Members and their aides, reportedly airs tonight. [Roll Call, subscription required, from The Raw Story]

* Billy Clinton will tickle Mike Bloomberg’s prostrate if it gets him to run. [Passport]
* Democrats love wasting campaign money almost as much as taxpayer money. [MyDD]
* Democratic staff asses now getting ass. [The Hill]
* Sam Brownback yearns to feel a life growing in his belly. [Think Progress]
* Monica Goodling is testifying next Wednesday, so get a courier to start standing in line for you now. [The Gavel]
* Iraq problem: solved. [Dilbert Blog]

We knew all along that this “Inside Edition Sexiest D.C. Bachelor search” would end terribly. We didn’t realize it’d begin so offensively though. MORE »