“I’m up to 223 subscribers… I don’t know why y’all motherfuckers fuckin’ subscribe to me when all y’all gonna do is fuckin’ talk shit about me.” [YouTube]

Ha ha ha, so incredibly stupid, but here we are, LAUGHING. If you’d like to know the context of this amazing still — and we certainly don’t — you can read more here. Something about a brawl at “Cheyney” University. Really. [Philadelphia Will Do, ABC 6 Philadelphia]

C-SPAN was made for these moments. We don’t need any play-by-play, we don’t need quick cut shots, we don’t need pundits — all we need is extended raw footage of Dick Cheney being pushed around in his wheelchair, clutching his panda-fur-coated cane, and eventually being thrown into a car destined for a steep ditch in Wyoming. [YouTube]

You anti-American homosexual Muslim book-skimming ACORNs have taken YET ANOTHER perfectly good & respectable website — this one designed to thank George W. Bush for the various wars and contracting economies — and ruined it with your filthy jokes about butts and poop. The site’s webmaster is now having to scrub your PUERILE CRAP petition signatures at a breakneck pace leaving him/her no time for SELF-PLEASURE. Let’s check out some of these toilet-humor “names” from you people who only want John Kerry to run the country and nothing else will do. MORE »

A delightfully insane person has e-mailed us and approximately 400 other tip or info lines asking politely if he can be Senator from New York. He wants to take over for two years until Chelsea Clinton is 30 and can rightfully claim her seat. You must read (skim) his full blog post about this. “Oh- I’m just the ’strwaw man- so i’ll read the script, act the part, do the ’show’, and let my handlers, and staff run things- its simpler that way,” he writes, “for 2 years- till chelsea clinton is 30, and can take over the show..” The commentary is interspersed among dozens of photos of celebrities and politicians. [X-WIRE]