Tag Archives: higher education

  Old School School

Chris Christie Locks Down Voters Who Love Student Loan Debt

It's people! Chris Christie EATS PEOPLE! (#2 in a series)
Chris Christie knows how he’d win a presidential election between himself and Bernie Sanders, just in case that particular combination comes up: Let the free market fix everything, the way it always does. Ha! That’ll teach Bernie Sanders, with his socialist call for four years of government-supported college education for all students attending state colleges and universities (no, it’s not “free,” so save your cranky comments, cranks). Read more on Chris Christie Locks Down Voters Who Love Student Loan Debt…
  Socialism Nice Time

President Bernie Sanders Will Force Your Kids To Have Free College

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!
Just when we thought we had reached the zenith of our love for Vermont’s proudly socialist Sen. Bernie Sanders, and dead serious Democratic presidential candidate, he comes along and proposes legislation to provide free tuition at public colleges and universities. Just like in civilized countries! The proposal goes well beyond President Obama’s proposal for universal community college tuition, and would revolutionize higher education. Yr Wonkette enthusiastically supports the idea, even if it requires everyone to drive a Volvo. Read more on President Bernie Sanders Will Force Your Kids To Have Free College…
  Don't Know Much About History (And Don't Need To)

Oh Good, Gov. Bobby Jindal ‘Wrote’ A History ‘Book’

Did you know you can buy one of these cool hats without attending a single college class? Pretty cool deal.
Louisiana, as you may have heard, isn’t a state that’s all that big on forcing education into people. Its public schools are being dismantled through aggressive “school choice” vouchers that use precious taxpayer dollars to fund religious schools, including some without libraries — just as long as they don’t include any weird religions that don’t have Jesus in them. The state encourages teachers to bring in their own alternate instructional materials to help students think critically about the lies of science. And in the current legislative session, Louisiana is fixing to cut funding higher education by as much as 82 percent, which could lead to entire academic departments being eliminated. Louisiana State University is drafting the academic equivalent of a plan to file for bankruptcy, to have it ready, just in case. But there’s no need to panic. Gov. Bobby Jindal has plans to rescue Louisiana education in at least one academic subject: He’s publishing a history book in October. Read more on Oh Good, Gov. Bobby Jindal ‘Wrote’ A History ‘Book’…
  of course they call it a LIBERAL arts education

No One Cares About Candidates’ College Degrees, Wingnuts Upset Anyway Because It Is A Day

When your elitist liberal friend says he wants to get a college education.
Sweet merciful Yahweh, are we really going to have to spend the next year and a half debating the merits of a college education for presidential candidates? Apparently we are, if the recent hooting over Rand Paul and Scott Walker lacking bachelor’s degrees is any indication. Count us among the camp that thinks not having completed an undergraduate degree is irrelevant to one’s qualifications for the presidency. Our last president had degrees from two Ivy League schools, and he had the intellectual firepower of a mangled squirrel being grilled for supper on the engine block of a ’73 Matador. Read more on No One Cares About Candidates’ College Degrees, Wingnuts Upset Anyway Because It Is A Day…
  Education Nice Time!

Obama Proposes Free Community College; Will Terrify Wingnuts With Educated Populace

Bluto studied Photoshop at Estes Kefauver Community College
Now here’s a nice thing if you’re into “education” and “free stuff,” which of course you are, because you’re an over-educated socialist liberal. President Obama is heading to Tennessee today to announce a program that would provide qualified students with two years of free community college, as well as other reforms aimed at making higher education more accessible. Tell us more, New York Times: Read more on Obama Proposes Free Community College; Will Terrify Wingnuts With Educated Populace…
  Stripper Recruiters For Strip-Mall Schools

Scammy For-Profit ‘College’ Knew What Students Want: Strippers

Phi Beta Strippa
In today’s “For-Profit Colleges Are Scummy and Bad” news, we bring you the tale of Florida’s “FastTrain” chain of educational institutions, which went out of business in 2012 following raids by the FBI. The company’s CEO and three other executives are now the subject of criminal indictments for conspiracy and theft of government funds through their scammy little quasi-educational enterprise, which at one time operated seven storefront “campuses” in the state. In addition to the usual elements you’d expect in a story like this — bogus training, high fees paid for by federal education programs, and leaving students with worthless certificates and piles of student loans that they’ll never escape, FastTrain also went out of its way to be especially scummy, and we aren’t just talking about the strippers they used to recruit students. Read more on Scammy For-Profit ‘College’ Knew What Students Want: Strippers…
  society is to blame: arrest them

A Children’s Treasury Of Stupid Bloviating About The Isla Vista Murders

We’ve now entered the exciting “place blame on people you don’t like” phase of the coverage of the shootings in Isla Vista last Friday, where bloggers, teevee news panelists, and other luminaries present their instant diagnoses of the culture-war issues truly to blame for the actions of a disturbed person with a several guns and a carload of ammunition. Here are just a few of the stupidest explanations of What It All Means (and yes, we have a feeling this will be Part One of many). Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Stupid Bloviating About The Isla Vista Murders…
  fat armchair surfing fools

Lazy Jerk Newt Gingrich Refused To Get Job While Studying

Turbo edition ridiculousness machine Newt Gingrich is terminally unable to shut up about his “wait why is this even a fake issue?” theory that America’s disadvantaged students are incurably lazy — first it was elementary school students, and this weekend he delivered a diatribe excoriating the current generation of university students for expecting “free money” to go to school and refusing like a bunch of snot-nosed ninnies to get part-time work study jobs. (That seems like pretty much every college student you know, right?) Of course Newt SURELY speaks from experience, having diligently worked his way through school? Read more on Lazy Jerk Newt Gingrich Refused To Get Job While Studying…
  occupy higher education

Obama Says College Will Be Affordable Again One Day, Maybe

Greetings old friends! It’s your Wonkabout on Special Assignment for your Wonkette to report on Obama’s college affordability speech at the University of Michigan where she just happens to be doing some learning of her own these days. So what did our dear President have to say to a crowd of hopeless college students hungover from Thirsty Thursday about why their education now costs 16 kajillion dollars? Read more on Obama Says College Will Be Affordable Again One Day, Maybe…
  deep thoughts by rick santorum

Santorum To Win This Thing With New Stance Against College Education

So Barack Obama is in favor of greater access to college education (like most every other modern president before him), you say? There’s a sinister, political reason for that, according to dim dweeb Rick Santorum. Learning turns people liberal. “It’s no wonder President Obama wants every kid to go to college,” he told an audience in Florida. “The indoctrination that occurs in American universities is one of the keys to the left holding and maintaining power in America.” Woah! But wait, wasn’t he just saying that it’s the vast cabal of single moms who conspiratorially refuse to go out and get a man that make up the base of leftist power in the country? Read more on Santorum To Win This Thing With New Stance Against College Education…
  lizard people

Non-Human Rick Scott Launches Jihad Against People Who Study Humans

Space monster/invoked demon Rick Scott is clearly not a human. Children everywhere know Rick Scott’s face very well: It is what they see during nightmares, the soulless mask of non-human evil as personified by Lord Voldemort in the demonic Halloween books by J.K. Rowling. Rick Scott has laughed off such accusations, in his inhuman laugh, but now the Florida governor and business “man” has begun an all-out assault on the one profession that can show he is not one of us: Anthropologists. Read more on Non-Human Rick Scott Launches Jihad Against People Who Study Humans…
  literacy is overrated anyway

Iowa GOP Legislator Tells Young People Not To Worry About Government, ‘Go Home’

“GO HOME” is the edgy new Iowa GOP slogan for the young people. When a group of students visited the state capitol to testify about the effects of budget cuts on higher education, GOP State Senator Shawn Hammerlinck told the students, “I do not like it when students actually come here and lobby me for funds,” because democracy is over now and THERE WILL BE NO LOBBYING unless it is done by old men with bags of gold coins. Shawn Hammerlinck does not appreciate hearing from constituents when they want to ask him for money. That is his job, to ask people for money, to elect him, so he can yell at voters. Video after the jump! Read more on Iowa GOP Legislator Tells Young People Not To Worry About Government, ‘Go Home’…
  it's morning in america

Will Dick Cheney Thieve ANOTHER Orphan’s Heart?

Lamestream media types are always speculating when/if Dick Cheney will club another homeless child to death and then steal his vital organs, so that Cheney will be able to live an extra week. (The media also enjoys asking if Andrew Breitbart likes boys.) Anyway! America’s most frightening former vice president says he is facing “end-stage heart failure” — what normal people would refer to as “death” — unless he receives another heart transplant. Dick Cheney hates dying so he probably will get that 10th transplant. Oh, and then Cheney praised Obama for using flying robots to kill all the brown people in countries nobody has ever heard of. [The Caucus] Read more on Will Dick Cheney Thieve ANOTHER Orphan’s Heart?… Read more on Will Dick Cheney Thieve ANOTHER Orphan’s Heart?…
  sellouts

INTERN RILEY GOES LEGIT: Look, he’s writing for the esteemed Internet publication Matt Taibbi’s Still So Mad At Goldman Sachs. His beat: college and whoring, two topics upon which he is a National Authority. Check it out! [True/Slant: The Diploma Mill] Read more on …
  education reform

No More Book Learning For You Hobos

Since it’s the Depression and all, get ready for skyrocketing educational costs! State governments have no munnies for their public schools, and all the private schools wasted their endowments on AIG stock, so increased tuition costs get passed along to you, the consumer! And since there are no jobs waiting for you at the end of your fancy four-year degree anyway, why bother? Soon it will cost approx. 14 kajillion dollars to get your diploma from some middling liberal arts school, so that you can send literally two-thirds of your take-home pay to your student loan consolidator while you work behind the counter at Enterprise Rent-a-Car, a job you could have easily gotten with a high school diploma and half a brain. Read more on No More Book Learning For You Hobos…