Tag: high school

Feds Desegregate Schools In Mississippi Town Time Forgot

A federal court ordered school desegregation plan be put in place in Cleveland, Mississippi, a mere 62 years -- almost to the day -- after Brown v. Board of Education.
Tennessee right now.

Know What’s Just Like ISIS? Gay Tennessee Teenagers, That’s What.

  What did wingnut conservative types even do before they discovered the greatest insult in the whole world, which is to call anything you don't like "Just Like ISIS"? Easy question! They called things "al Qaeda" and "Hillary Clinton" and...

Hero Parents Will Save Us All From The Terror Of Jihadi Handwriting

If you were wondering if anti-Muslim hysteria has hit fever pitch in America yet, wonder no longer. Feast your eyes on the good -- OK, actually not very good at all -- people of Augusta County Virginia. Now, we are...
Menace to society.

Tennessee Ne’er Do Wells Can Wear Their Thug Pants IN JAIL

As we all know, the greatest threat we face as U.S. Americans, besides Muslims and Obama and gay marriage, is Kids These Days who wear their pants down low where you can see their fannies, and Bolivar Central High...

Colorado Town Shocked To Discover Teens Do Sexytime, Even In Colorado

Turns out kids these days, like kids in those days and the days before that too, do sex things, to themselves and to each other. Even in small, wholesome towns where teenagers are still cursed with hormones and interests and...
This must be the politest society in anime

High School Students Try To Do Journalism On Guns, Gun-Humpers Freak Out

The wingnuttosphere is up in arms -- concealed, openly carried, and hidden in the underwear drawer where their kids will never find them -- over an "invasive" survey that some Texas high school journalists put together to gather information...
Lance Sanderson, with gay stripes all over him.

Catholic School Sends Gay Boy Home For A Week To Think About How Gay He’s Been

Remember that kid from Memphis, Gay Lance Something-Or-Other? If you don't, NO, he did not build a clock, that boy was a Muslim, not a gay! Lance Sanderson is a senior at a Catholic boys' school called Christian Brothers,...
Awwww. Kids being out in high school makes yr Old Gay Wonkette verklempt.

Catholic School Denies Gay Kid’s Sacred Right To Date Boys From Other Schools

Here's a new one for you! We're used to stories like "Hey, you lesbian, you can go to prom with your lady-lesbian date, but you have to wear a pretty dress like all the other debutantes," and "Hey, you...
Drop Kick Me Jesus

Georgia High School Adds Baptisms To Football Practice, Benches Constitution

Residents of Villa Rica, Georgia, are astonished that anyone could have a problem with a group baptism of football players on school grounds before a recent F'ball practice. Because they love America, and Jebus, and F'ball -- which is why it...
What you're SUPPOSED to do in boarding school.

Alleged Prep School Rapist Only Did It Because There Was A School Sex Contest, Probably

Oh, to be back at boarding school! Mumsy and Popsy would seldom visit, and even then, only to meet with the headmaster about which one of our family names would christen the new Humanities building. And what fun we...
We don't either.

Mississippi Grads’ Families Won’t Face Jail Time For Being Excessively Proud Of Kids

Remember that real dumb story we typed at you, about the high school graduation in Senatobia, Mississippi, where two of the graduates' family members were ejected from graduation for the egregious crime of cheering with beaming pride when their kids' names were...
Not sorry one bit

Mike Huckabee Wants You To Know He’s Still Mighty Proud To Be A-Hole

Grinning sack of deep-fried squirrel meat Mike Huckabee is a jerk and a pervert, and he's damn proud of that, mister. Damn proud. Last week, we learned about his EWWWWWW GROSS fantasies of pretending to be transgender in high school,...
Let us tell you our sex fantasies.

Mike Huckabee’s Secret Trans Fantasy: High School Sex Boobies For Everyone!

Hahaha, you know what's funny, you guys? Transgender people! At least, if you are Mike Huckabee or any of the dildo-brained malcontents who respect him. Back in February, Huckabee spoke to the National Religious Broadcasters Convention, but WorldNetDaily just...
Bad-ass Janelle Monae rocking a tux, GONNA BAN HER FROM PROM TOO?

Louisiana Principal Determined To Ruin Prom For Bad-A** Tux-Wearing Lesbian Honors Student

Priorities! Carroll High School in Monroe, Louisiana, has them! Claudetteia Love is 17, she is a top honors student headed to college on a full scholarship, and she would like to go the prom with her friends. She would...
Seriously, we're polytheists who hold slaves and like buggery. A Republican is going to hold us up as examples?

Tea Party Loon Dave Brat: Socrates Would Want Us To Slash School Funding For Poor Kids

We're not sure we'd go so far as to say that we miss Eric Cantor. But we sure are impressed with the intellectual firepower of Dave Brat, the Tea Party twit that replaced him. In a meeting of the...
Thanks General Washington! Now we can mention your slaves again!

Colorado Students Ditch Class, Refuse To Love America

Students at several Denver-area high schools walked out of classes Monday and Tuesday to protest a proposal by conservative school board members to make the district's Advanced Placement U.S. History classes more patriotic and America-loving. The board, sharing widespread...