Herman Cain
Who Should Fox News Hire Next?
First Fox News got rid of some of their underperforming pundits, like Dick Morris and Sarah Palin, and the Internet was Sad. Then they turned around and hired a bunch of new idiots, like Scott Brown and Herman Cain, and the Internet was happy again! (And if you can make “Ken Layne” happy, you can [...]
Bryan Fischer: Sikh-Temple Shooter Hated Herman Cain, Was A Liberal, Q.E.D.
Doodly doodly doo, twitter twitter twitter. Oh, what’s this? Bryan Fischer, of the wonderful and loving and Christian in totally the best sense of the religion American Family Association, do you have some Thoughts on the Sikh temple massacre, which you think would be important to share with the world? FANTASTIC. But hmmm, we are [...]
Lady Who Sexed Herman Cain For 13 Years Types About That
Back in two thousand diggity ‘leven, there was this fella Herman Cain who nearly got himself a presidential nomination. He didn’t care for that! All he wanted was a radio show, a teevee show, some more book deals — the whole package. Thankfully a bunch of gals came forward and gave him an out by [...]
Herman Cain, Ken Blackwell Team Up For Most Ludicrous Video Ever
Herman Cain and Ken Blackwell, the former Ohio secretary of state who STOLE THE 2004 ELECTION WITH MACHINES, have teamed up to produce this video about the Right to Vote. They do so by criticizing the Justice Department’s attempts to ensure black people can vote in the face of new laws that are clearly trying [...]
Herman Cain to Replace Other Annoying Guy on the Radio Forever
Great news: Herman Cain has been elected president! Is that the news? Of course not. But his presidential campaign has been 100% successful according to the metric by which he chose to run in the first place. He’s landed a big old wingnut radio show to debut in 2013, on the famous Day One of [...]
Newt Gingrich Makes World’s Actual Most Pathetic Campaign Ad
Leading small-animal snuff film auteur Herman Cain has taken a brief respite from murdering rabbits to bring us this late-breaking newsflash that Newt Gingrich is now too awful to keep company with people who murder rabbits: “I even endorsed Newt Gingrich at one point because I thought that he had a shot. Well, not now. [...]
Former GOP Presidential Candidates Still Struggling Through Kubler-Ross Stages Of Grief
Man you guys, all the former GOP presidential candidates, like Herb Cain and Newt Gingrich and Ol’ Smegma Lips over there, are having such a hard time dealing with the cold FACT that they are losers, who lost, because people like them even less than they like Mitt Romney! Herb Cain is trying to keep [...]
Herman Cain’s Latest ‘Campaign’ Video: The Government Is An Evil Man-Eating Chicken
Herman Cain’s taking advantage of the post-Santorum era, yes he is, with a new video reminding us of a tax plan too incomprehensible to distract America from true tales of sex and cash. Due to Cain’s need to, maybe, provide himself and his family with food and shelter using super PAC funds, the video is [...]
Herman Cain: Ladies Be Stupid (VIDEO!)
Oh this is fun! For months the GOP has been sending special email lovenotes to Your Wonkette regarding how Romney is totally kicking Obama’s ass among Gyno-Americans, which is weird? Because Romney is actually down among women by 18, 19, or 437 percent, depending on who is doing the counting? (They have stopped sending those [...]
Godfather Herman Cain Will Illegally Fire All You Union Thugs
Everyone’s favorite cooldaddy former GOP presidential candidate, serial quid pro quo lady harasser, and totally all-around-well-informed dude Herb Cain has a message for all you Union Thugz out there: You want a job don’t you? Well he will fire you if you join or organize a union! It seems like Ol’ Herb maybe does not [...]
YouTube Does Not Care for Herman Cain’s Bunny Snuff Film
Herman Cain is back again with a new video in which an adorable bunny symbolizing adorable small business is catapulted into the air and blasted to pieces by some NRA sociopath with a rifle, as part of Herman Cain’s ongoing series of snuff films starring small, defenseless animals (remember when the goldfish was tortured, how [...]
Herman Cain Watches Girl Torture Goldfish From Mountaintop
Here is a little girl throwing water and mud on top of a goldfish she dumped on the ground. Did you know that it’s also a political ad from Herman Cain, decrying the Stimulus? Of course you did, what else would it be.
Herman Cain Tells CPAC To ‘Outsmart Stupid People Running America’
Didn’t you sort of feel like Herman Cain said he was just going out for a pack of smokes, and then we never heard from him again and somehow got stuck with his car note and a bunch of boring creepo ‘Washington insiders?’ Well, CAIN’S BACK, BABY. Just goes to show you can’t keep a [...]
Herman Cain Gives SOTU Response Sadly Bereft of 9-9-9 Mentions
Herman Cain had the honor of delivering the Tea Party’s official rebuttal to Obama’s State of the Union address, and praise Jesus, the thing is only 13 minutes long. Oddly, it does not mention 9-9-9. It also was only streamed on the Tea Party Express website, owing to the fact that part of the Tea [...]
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