Tag: Herman Cain

RNC Day One Round-Up: Here Are The Hottest Cops We’ve Seen So Far

You guys, Cleveland is NUTS. And also kinda chill, also too.
You have to admit it's a nice hat

Rightwing Senator Isakson Maybe Not Insane Enough For Georgia. Your Senate Sunday!

Our weekly tour of the 2016 Senate races visits Georgia, where a political novice is running a longshot campaign to unseat a two-term Republican incumbent. Needless to say, it's a bit messier than that.

Jeb! So Bad At Running For President That Even Herman Cain Is Mocking Him

Against all odds, Jeb! Bush has been running a campaign so godawful, so maladept, so mind-numbingly boring that we almost feel weirdly sorry for the guy. He's just so pathetic about the whole thing, veering from complete disinterest in the...

Even Your Favorite Chips Come In Homo Gaysexual Lesbian Rainbow Flavor Now

BREAKING NEWS FLASH SIREN ALERT TRIGGER WARNING DEFCON 69! Look what is being crammed down your throat now! It is what used to be your favorite snacky treat, from the makers of all those Cool Habanero Nacho Fiery Ranch Doritos...

Let’s Point And Laugh At Dumb Jim Carrey Twitter-Ranting About Vaccines

California finally passed its vaccine bill, removing most religious and personal belief exemptions for vaccination in public schools (almost as if contagious diseases really don't care if you don't "believe" in them). Yay for California! But oh no, what...
You can trust him, he's a doctor

RINO Ben Carson Nukes Own Chances At GOP Nomination, Declares Racism Not Over

Uh oh. Is Dr. Ben Carson, beloved hero to right-wingers who love when a black man assures them it's OK to hate President Barack Blackity-Black Obama, and Obamacare is the worst thing since slavery, about to be escorted from...
Obamacare may not be what the doctor ordered, but RAPE FICTION is!

Mississippi Teabagger Doctor Will Write Rapey Sex Fiction From The Halls Of Congress

Introduce yourself to Dr. Starner Jones, who would like to be the congressman from Mississippi's 1st District, which covers a wide swath of the northern section of Mississippi, from the Memphis suburbs all the way east to Elvis Presley's...

Happy Birthday, Tea Party! Now Die In A Fire

Happy sixth birthday to the Tea Party! Okay we’re a little late here, as the big day was in the middle of last week. We have just been so busy writing about all the insane horseshit you teabaggers have...
He's in charge here

Republicans Suing Obama Again, This Time About The Mexicans

Some days we almost feel sorry for John Boehner, what with having to herd the feral cat farm that is the House Republican caucus while simultaneously convincing the Beltway’s Very Serious People that he, too, is a Very Serious...

People Are Going Crazy On The Pot, Say Morons

Ah, the weekend. Time for yr Wonkette to get away from the computer and relax. Maybe drink some beers with friends or go hiking in the California sun or spark up a nice fat bowl of medicinal marijuana -...

Herman Cain’s Website Still So Offended That A Lady Talked About Her Lady Parts That One Time

We have to admit we had completely forgotten about Herman Cain after his 2012 flameout, but it looks like he has a website where people who are not Herman Cain write things that are, we presume, thinks Herman Cain...

A Slightly More Sober Discussion Of President Obama’s State Of The Union Awesomeness

Gentlemen, did you wake up this morning with a little extra pep in your Mr. Peepers? We sure did, because WE FINALLY GOT OUR PRESIDENT BACK! It’s like that awesome hopey and changey guy from 2008 snuck back out...

Radio Wingnut Neal Boortz Dreaming Of A White MLK

Libertarian annoyance Neal Boortz, filling in as host of the Herman Cain radio show (which is an actual thing), added his fair-taxed two cents to the Great Santa Is White Stupid Foofaraw of 2013 Monday, explaining that 1) Santa...

Herman Cain Has Found The Real Groper, And It Is ‘The Devil’

Herman Cain has spent the past two years trying to clear his name of wrongful accusations that he groped that lady, and the other lady, and that third chick, and we think two other ones as well it is...

Herman Cain’s Internet Home For Giving Herman Cain Money Is A Mere Shell Of Its Former Shell

Here's something that's high on the list of stuff we missed without realizing we missed it: Thinking about Herman Cain! Remember that guy? His Sim City tax "plan?" All the lady heads he (allegedly) forced into his crotch, like...

Herman Cain’s Website Knows Who Can Beat Hillary. It Is A Big Surprise! Named Sarah Palin! (Spoiler Alert)

Dan Calabrese, a blogger for Herman Cain's website -- Herman Cain does not "write" things, obviously -- has a pretty trenchant political analysis today that explains that Hillary Clinton isn't quite the experienced political badass that everyone thinks she...