heritage foundation
The Heritage Foundation And The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Super Racist Week
Ohey there Heritage Foundation! How’ve you been? How’s the wife? Kids still taking violin lessons? Good good. Anything new? Been in the news at all lately? Oh…sorry, yes you have, because you are busy defending yourselves from multiple completely well-founded charges that you are fucking racists? That is so sad sorry we are not sorry.
Heritage Foundation: Immigration Reform Will Bankrupt Entire Solar System
Conservative masturbatorium the Heritage Foundation has a shouty new report with “estimates” and “projections” and “racist stereotypes” and linguistically satisfying turns of phrase such as “also probably” that prove immigration will maybe by their esimate cost a trajillion dollars. Let us give you an example of their math: If a train leaves Chicago at 5:15pm [...]
FreedomWorks: Protection From Domestic Violence Is For Wusses
Have you been avoiding reading anything about the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) because opposition to it is just too fucking depressing? US TOO. But now none of us can avoid it no more not ever, because the Editrix decreed that we read some things and write a thing about it. Do [...]
CNN: Was Martin Luther King Jr Conservative? Some Say! But Others Don’t!
Look, we have found a single “article” that is a great example of everything wrong with journalism and a lot of things wrong with conservatism, ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Pretty amazing, right? It is not often that we get to make fun of CNN, contemporary American journalism, and conservatives all in the same post, [...]
Gracious House Of Representatives To NJ, CT And NY: Fine, Here’s Your Stupid Hurricane Money
Another guest post from your comrade Fakakta South. The House finally voted Tuesday to graciously give out approximately $50.5 billion to the states hit hardest by the freakishly strong Frankenstorm of the Century, Hurricane Sandy. The measure passed with a vote of 241-180, with 179 Republicans voting against giving any money to anyone ever again [...]
In Bout Of Not-Affirmative Action, GOP To Promote Party’s Lone Remaining Black Representative
Rep. Tim Scott (R-SC), who is the Other Black House Republican Besides Allen West, is your newest Senator from South Carolina, after Jim Demint left to grift money at the Heritage Foundation! YAY!!! Many people think that Tim Scott is somehow better because he is more moderate than Allen West, which is sort of like a fried [...]
Heritage Foundation Very Proud Of Its Incoherent Bondage Porn Filibuster Tumblr Message
Hey, movie fans! Remember that Robert Frank Capra classic where Jimmy Stewart saves the day by standing up and filibustering a bill he knows in his heart to be bad? Pretty dramatic stuff, and an iconic bit of Authentic American Cornball Political Sincerity. Of course, as we all sorta-kinda know, the rules for filibusters have [...]
Jim DeMint Has Had Enough Of Your Stupid Senate
South Carolina Sen. Jim DeMint (R-R’lyeh) announced that he will resign his U.S. Senate seat in January to become president of the Heritage Foundation. Sen. DeMint, just two years into his second term, will be trading “public service” (i.e., shaping policy to funnel government resources to contributors) for a “position in the private sector” (i.e., [...]
GOP Voter ID Backers Admit Voter ID Backs GOP
At a Heritage Foundation luncheon, one of the GOP’s chief proponents of Voter ID laws, former Wall Street Journal columnist John Fund, cheerfully acknowledged that laws requiring individual voters to show a photo ID will be far more effective at suppressing votes by Democrats than Republicans. “Absentee vote ballot fraud is the tool of choice [...]
Old-Hat Wars On Women, Voting, Given Snazzy Update With New GOP War On Math
There is much to say about the current state of the GOP, but let no one say that they are not adept at multitasking. Waging a war on women AND on voting is probably not easy, but here they are, imposing all kinds of restrictions on abortion as well as new laws in ten states [...]
Wingnuts Furious: Nanny Obama Coddles Goatherders With Cots And Lanterns, If You Can Even Believe It
President Barack Obama is a nanny stater who loves nothing more than to Oppress you with his nannying, and Human Events has got the PROOF: there are now regulations that say that if you employ a foreigner to be a goatherder, you must provide him (OR HER! Just kidding, not her) with a clean, comfortable [...]
Amazing Magazine ‘The Conservative Teen’ Has A Lot To Say, None Of It By Teens
Today is a good day. Here is a magazine called The Conservative Teen, whose first issue is miraculously FREE and ONLINE for you to read in its entirety. The Conservative Teen appears to essentially be one of those “$4.99 ORDINARILY BUT FOR YOU, FREE!” fake magazines like Raw Life Today, or whatever, that sneak their [...]
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