heritage foundation
John Boehner Hates Free Enterprise Private Insurance, Thinks It Is Mean
Oh, Speaker John Boehner, you historically lazy sack of unnaturally orange suck. Even though you are in charge of the House of Representatives (sort of; let’s face it, everyone knows the teabaggers rule your world), you still haven’t found the time to edumacate yourself on how that whole Obamacare thingy actually works: “When you look [...]
Ted Cruz’s Teabag Oprah Fantasy: You Get A Jesse Helms, You Get A Jesse Helms, Everybody Gets A Jesse Helms!
If you are a major political party that needs to lash yourself to a lifeboat of minority voters before the demographic tides suck you down to the bottom of the ocean, maybe one easy step would be to stop celebrating the dead racists that led you for many decades. Or you could keep talking about [...]
Heritage Foundation Czar Jim DeMint Says Majority Of Americans Are Socialist Un-Americans For Liking Socialist Un-American Healthcare
Have you heard the one about how health care reform is the worst thing that ever happened to America (besides the gays, the feminists, the black dude in the White House, and birth control, obviously), and it is socialism and just like Hitler and will ruin freedom for everyone? OF COURSE YOU HAVE because it’s [...]
Here Is Your Sponsored Content From The Heritage Foundation That Looks Like A Wonkette Post. Also Too Boobs.
Today, Buzzfeed won the Internet by letting the Heritage Foundation post a bunch of dumb fucking lie-gifs about Obamacare, which were total lies and not even true? That’s cool, Buzzfeed, we know you got that $100 billion investment to pay back, so whatever it takes, dudes. I mean, we hope they gave them money? It [...]
Rick Santorum Thinks It Would Be Fun To Run A Movie Studio
As if losing elections for the U.S. Senate and the presidency weren’t enough, Rick Santorum now looks forward to driving a movie studio into bankruptcy! The frothy one has been named CEO of EchoLight Studios, a Christian movie company based in Dallas. Santorum was excited to get to work doing to movies what he’s done [...]
Heritage Foundation Will Sacrifice Its Own Son, Obamacare, To Appease Angry God
Did you know that Obamacare is the worst thing since the Holocaust and 9/11 made love and gave birth to the BENGHAZI and IRS scandal twins? But rather than keep their promise to replace Obamacare with some other mechanism for providing basic health care to people, the GOP is intent on utterly destroying all hopes [...]
Heritage Action Encourages GOP to Stop Doing Their Jobs
Earlier this week, the Heritage Foundation’s political activist arm, Heritage Action, actually gave some sound advice to GOP congressional leadership: “Don’t legislate,” Heritage Action said. We paraphrase: “Just go on ahead and stir up stupid asinine scandals about nothing, you are way better at that stuff.” And for once, your Wonkette wants to go on [...]
The Heritage Foundation And The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Super Racist Week
Ohey there Heritage Foundation! How’ve you been? How’s the wife? Kids still taking violin lessons? Good good. Anything new? Been in the news at all lately? Oh…sorry, yes you have, because you are busy defending yourselves from multiple completely well-founded charges that you are fucking racists? That is so sad sorry we are not sorry.
Heritage Foundation: Immigration Reform Will Bankrupt Entire Solar System
Conservative masturbatorium the Heritage Foundation has a shouty new report with “estimates” and “projections” and “racist stereotypes” and linguistically satisfying turns of phrase such as “also probably” that prove immigration will maybe by their esimate cost a trajillion dollars. Let us give you an example of their math: If a train leaves Chicago at 5:15pm [...]
FreedomWorks: Protection From Domestic Violence Is For Wusses
Have you been avoiding reading anything about the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) because opposition to it is just too fucking depressing? US TOO. But now none of us can avoid it no more not ever, because the Editrix decreed that we read some things and write a thing about it. Do [...]
CNN: Was Martin Luther King Jr Conservative? Some Say! But Others Don’t!
Look, we have found a single “article” that is a great example of everything wrong with journalism and a lot of things wrong with conservatism, ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Pretty amazing, right? It is not often that we get to make fun of CNN, contemporary American journalism, and conservatives all in the same post, [...]
