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Tag: heritage foundation

Bob Dole Stands Erect For Taiwan; Firmness Achieved By All This Money On The Nightstand

Congratulations to Bob Dole on achieving a hard position on U.S.-Taiwan relations and keeping it up so long.

Tom DeLay Has Hot New Consulting Firm Starring Tom DeLay

So, have you been dying to know what Tom DeLay has been up to these days? Hey, wait! Get back here. Just pretend you've been thinking about The Hammer aka The Exterminator aka The Indicted then Appealed then Exonerated aka The...
People with disabilities should just knock it off and stop faking

Sen. Tom Cotton Knows ‘Disabled’ Fakers Spending Your Tax Moneys On Drugs

Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton returned to one of the Great Republican Myths the other day, suggesting the Social Security Disability program is not merely full of fakes and cheaters, but might actually cause economic decline and drug abuse. In...
Don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no national healthcare

Mitt Romney Quite Pleased With His Swell National Romneycare Program, Oh Goodness Yes

You may recall this fella Mitt Romney who ran for president in 2012 on a platform of getting rid of Obamacare. It was a terrible, terrible idea, he said, that stole people's freedom of choice, was sure to ruin...
Gossiping cat has thoughts to share.

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Sit Next To Each Other And Talk Sh*t About People

Happy Sunday, Wonketariat! We hope this love note finds you fat and happy. We should take a moment before we go get ACTUAL brunch, to do internet brunch gossip about the Most Popular Stories of the week. You all were all...
Lesbian and/or baby-killer

Heritage Foundation: Gay Marriage Will Make All The Gross Spinsters Kill Their Babies. It’s Math!

According to the Heritage Foundation's (LOL) "digital-first, multimedia news platform," The Daily Signal, if the Supreme Court crams gay-marriage down our throats, as it is totally gonna do in June, that will make even more women do abortions. FACT....
Bluto studied Photoshop at Estes Kefauver Community College

Obama Proposes Free Community College; Will Terrify Wingnuts With Educated Populace

Now here's a nice thing if you're into "education" and "free stuff," which of course you are, because you're an over-educated socialist liberal. President Obama is heading to Tennessee today to announce a program that would provide qualified students...
Amused Maddow is best Maddow

Morning Maddow: Here’s How A White Supremacist Set The GOP’s Immigration Policy (Video)

Wednesday's Rachel Maddow Show begins with another of those rambly goofy stories that make you wonder whether a News Point is on the way, and then gets to the point and you say "Aha!" We won't even summarize the...
One smug bastard

Republicans Celebrate Success Of Voter Suppression With Fancy Luncheon

Voter fraud is so hot right now. This year's midterm elections are only a few weeks away, and courts are still ruling left and right on the identification requirements that states can impose on their voters as a remedy...

Conservatives Cranking Terror Alert Level Up To OMG! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!

Wonketteers, we do not wish to alarm you about the threat from ISIS, but you should be SHITTING YOUR PANTS IN TERROR BECAUSE THEY ARE COMING FOR YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU HAVE EVERY LOVED. Or at least that seems...

Kissin’ Congressman Vance McAllister Gets Honest on His Way Out

You may remember Vance McAllister, the family-values Republican from Louisiana who made sexxxy kisses all over one of his staffer's faces, and then fired that staffer because her sluttiness was contributing to a hostile work environment or whatever. Welp, Vance...

What If The Heritage Foundation Were Adapted To A Sitcom Format?

Just imagine the pitch: "Mr. Moonves, think Golden Girls meets Crossfire," says the excited producer. The Chairman frowns slightly. "BUT with mostly guys," the producer continues. Moonves looks mollified. It's a go. Of course viewed from the outside, the Right...

Jim DeMint Explains How Big Government Never Freed Any Slaves

Heritage Foundation head Heritager Jim DeMint took a crack at revisionist history last week on a Christian radio program, and delivered the somewhat surprising verdict that the federal government didn't play a role in freeing the slaves. Instead, what...

Ken Cuccinelli Tells Heritage Foundation Why Actual Winners Of Elections Should Defend Straight Marriage

As recently as last November, there was a chance that Ken "the Cooch" Cuccinelli might have been elected Governor of Virginia. He'd knocked good-kind-of-boring Republican Lieutenant Governor Bill Bolling out of the way by convincing the Virginia GOP to...

Heritage Foundation Notes Food Stamps Given To Stupid College Grads Who Picked Wrong Major Like German Or Not Business

From excessive drinking to being high pretty much all the time to a wardrobe consisting of only pajamas, blogging college sure is a rockin good time. And, it helps you get a job that pays money, which enables you...

Louie Gohmert Wants You To Only Put Your Penis In A Lady’s Down-There-Place

Congressional Legion of Doom members Louie Gohmert, Michele Bachmann, and Steve King appeared on a panel at the Heritage Foundation Wednesday and somehow, Gohmert managed to out-stupid both other members of the trio. Oh, sure, Bachmann warned that Barack Obama's...