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Posts Tagged ‘hell’

Traumatized Writer’s Hell-Cruise With Ralph Nader

Monday, February 18th, 2008

Ralph Nader will teach you the true meaning of 'upper decking'One brave man had the courage to write in the New York Times this weekend about some of the darkest, most painful days of his life. Days that would make a few waterboardings or even the Full Lieberman seem like child’s play. He was literally cast out upon the waters, trapped on a vessel with only miles of icy Alaskan sea all around, with no respite from the unending torment of Ralph Nader, Richard Dreyfuss, and Katrina vanden Heuvel on what one fellow captive described as “an S.D.S. reunion on the Love Boat.” MORE »


Christian Bummer: Experts Say There’s No Heaven

Thursday, February 7th, 2008

Jesus fucking christ ...You know that whole “He’s in heaven now” thing people say after somebody dies? It’s not true. Nobody’s in heaven. That’s the shocking conclusion of Bishop N.T. Wright, one of those people who actually believes in the Bible and Christianity. And you know who really pisses him off? Maria Shriver, the trophy Kennedy wife of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Shriver wrote some dumb childrens’ book claiming that “good people” go to Heaven after they die. It’s a lie! They’re all still dead. Unless they’re Jesus, apparently. MORE »


Pope Returns From Hell

Friday, October 19th, 2007

Beloved anti-Nazi pope John Paul II is back, according to Vatican TV. And this time, he is a terrible fire monster! We know about this because we accidentally had CNN Headline News on the other day, with the sound off, for some reason we can no longer remember, and suddenly there’s a terrible picture of the dead pope next to another picture of the Fire Pope. (It was on that douchesack Glenn Beck’s show that nobody has ever intentionally watched.) MORE »


A Twintacular GOP Convention!!!

Wednesday, September 27th, 2006

Get ready for love! - WonketteYou’ll never guess where the 2008 GOP convention is going to happen, so we’ll tell you: Minneapolis and/or St. Paul, two of the better-known cities in the state of Minnesota! MORE »


We’re Number 3! We’re Number 3!

Thursday, August 31st, 2006

Washington may no longer be the nation’s murder capital, but at least it’s moving up the “most congested cities” list. MORE »