Here is Rep. Tom Price, chair of the Republican Study Committee, standing before the Lincoln Memorial to show that Barack Obama, unlike Abraham Lincoln, is a DIVIDER, not U-NITER. He divides the American people into interest groups, see? Price backs this up with a very Populist real-world example: when hedge funds and i-bankers and other rich, senior bondholders were unwilling to take cuts in order to save the massive company Chrysler, DID BARACK OBAMA DEFEND THEM? No! Doesn’t this divisive thing Obama did just get you all hot and bothered, America? [Political Wire]

Many blame last week’s Chrysler bankruptcy on the fact that Chrysler is a shit company. They are wrong! It was really a group of hedge funds, holding large swaths of Chrysler debt, that rejected the administration’s settlement offer of a 33 cents-on-the-dollar payout and thus threw the company into its current quickie “nooner” of a Chapter 11 filing. These twenty-ish hedge funds — who call themselves, retardedly, the “Chrysler Non-TARP Lenders,” making them Moral — are trying to score a better deal in bankruptcy court. These terrible people! SO TERRIBLE are these people that they filed a motion in court to have their names sealed, because apparently, what’s this, the public is mad at them for bankrupting a massive company out of greed? They’ve received death threats! And as the Non-TARP Cocksuckers’ court motion reveals, the threats have come from… dumb slob commenters on the Washington Post website. MORE »

Just watch, in full, and keep in mind that this is what Fox & Friends is like *without* Steve Doocy. Oh, and Brian Kilmeade, what’s confusing you near the end there: they’re called “hedge funds,” and they play a big role in stuff, much more than just one George Soros/Marlon Brando can do on his own. [YouTube]

Okay so it’s nine days old, but you must read this very delightful article about the effects of the financial crisis on Greenwich, Connecticut, a town where rich people live. There had been three types of people in Greenwich, organized into a clear heirarchy: rich hedge fund managers, rich investment bankers, and lastly, filthy serfs. Then! Wall Street crashed! And the new arrangement is thus: rich hedge fund managers, slightly less rich ex-investment bankers, and even filthier serfs. This is a disaster of world-historical magnitude and Hank Paulson needs to buy Greeenwich’s “middle class” new Ferraris to avoid SYSTEMIC GLOBAL FINANCIAL DEFAULT FAILURE. MORE »

Wall Street investors and top-heavy hedge funds are confusing the shit out of campaign comptrollers. Starchy, Right-leaning money managers from Greenwich, Connecticut are throwing money at Democrats, while Croc-wearing Volvo drivers are getting behind Republicans. Totally nuts, these guys. Cats and dogs, living together. MORE »