Wonkette

Wonkette linguistics operative “Shih Tzu” sends us a variety of hilarious anagrams for “Sarah Palin” and “Sarah Heath Palin.” (She is named after the dead joker, Heath Ledger, which is offensive.) “Sarah Palin gets you Sharia Plan — Palin is clearly a stealth Muslim radical. Sarah Heath Palin gets you Ha Ha, Alpine Trash, which is kind of mean. It also gets you Ahh Shit, Anal Rape.” Well my stars, this Sarah Palin is no role model for our daughters. [Shih Tzu's Live Journal]

This is the Bondage Room in one of John McCain’s nine homes (seriously, NINE), this one in Phoenix. Lucky Architectural Digest did a whole tour of the house and you can view their slide show here. Now it’s quite possible that John McCain has never been inside his Phoenix home, and who can blame him? That’s some scary, macabre shit! JUST LOOK at that thing to the right of the big cigar store Indian’s head. What the fuck! It’s like the deformed offspring of Beetlejuice and dead Heath Ledger’s Joker, wearing a brown lunchbag diaper and carrying a gay umbrella. What the fuck!!! [Architectural Digest]

Did you spend double-digit money this weekend to see the Most Important Film Of Our Time, Batman Vs. The Dead Gay Cowboy Clown? YEAH YOU DID BECAUSE YOU LIKE HIGH ART. As we’ve mentioned previously, the dead Joker harasses Sen. Patrick Leahy at some fancy Washington cocktail party (Capitol File?) in this Work of Deep Brilliant Cinema, which is based on a comic book for children. And because Pat Leahy is a whore in real life, he has written a review of the film for known modernist film trade publication The Hill. It is an exciting review which you can read in its entirety after the jump. MORE »

What motivates Senator Patrick Leahy? Money? Sex? Sex for money? Public service or whatever? No. No. No. It is Batman, and only the Batman, that gives Pat Leahy the will to live, in Washington. He was briefly seen (but not heard) in the Batman and Robin movie of a few years ago — the one with George Clooney’s chilly nipples. And last August, we reported that Leahy was set for a speaking role in The Dark Knight. See the exclusive & terrifying video, after the jump. MORE »

In case you haven’t been to a website recently, famous Australian actor Heath Ledger died Tuesday. Sucks to be him. As you may remember, Ledger played a homosexual, mute cowboy in the film Brokeback Mountain, which was groundbreaking because it depicted gay sex for the first time in world history. It seems that this *fictional* role, in which the *fictional* gay cowboy *fictionally* questioned God, has led a radical Baptist church in Kansas to protest his memorial service, which is not *fictional*. Politician Mike Huckabee is also a radical Baptist, so we’ll run with this.

According to Shirley Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, the congregation plans to protest this human being’s funeral because of his pixelated, fictional musing on sexual ambiguity:

You cannot live in defiance of God. He (Ledger) got on that big screen with a big, fat message: God is a liar and it’s OK to be gay … Heath Ledger is now in Hell, and has begun serving his eternal sentence there.

Wait wait! Hear her out, she’s cool, she’s cool:

God hates fags… The wrath of God has been revealed before the eyes of this nation with the death of Heath Ledger. … This nation worships the dead almost as much as they worship their filthy sex acts. America is doomed.

Finally, someone speaks the truth; no more of this liberal do-goodery to pat our heathen heads. Heath Ledger’s tragic death in real life only highlights the *fictional* sins of his *fictional* acting choices and the *fictional* ass-fucking involved therein.

Kansas Baptist Church Intends to Picket Heath Ledger’s Funeral Because He Played Gay Character [Fox News]

Pretend-cowboy George W. Bush was all set to give some kind of anti-sleeping-pills speech today, but he’s so upset about the sleeping-pill suicide of pretend-cowboy Heath Ledger that the whole thing’s been postponed! That’s what White House spokeslady Dana Perino told a sobbing press corps today. Brokeback Mountain is Bush’s favorite movie of all time. [Associated Press]

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