The funniest part is that he thinks he needs more than three minutes of speaking time. Most people can clock in even a significantly belabored “HEHNGNN?” in under two seconds. (Also, sometimes laws are passed that set a policy and then grant the relevant department/agency a certain amount of time to implement them, after which they “go into effect.”) [Think Progress/Wonk Room]

This morning’s theatrical populist pretend-fest is already underway in the Senate, where Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke is facing his first reconfirmation hearing before very very angry Republicans and Democrats, who have all sorts of “ideas” for the Fed in the future. MORE »

Well, for all their tuff talk on this racist Puerto Rican separatist who wasn’t even very smart, the Republicans have just rolled over and shown the tyrannical Sonia Sotomayor their little white bellies. After spending two months complaining about nothing but the occasions when she said the two most forbidden words in the English language — “wise Latina” — they have basically admitted that they won’t filibuster her nomination. MORE »

Al Gore’s on Capitol Hill today to talk about his science! So is Newt Gingrich, for no apparent reason. But back to Al Gore! Here’s Tennessee meanie Rep. Marsha Blackburn calling Al Gore an evil criminal, just looking for a profit like your average dyed-in-the-wool socialist. (?). Then he tells her, hey Marsha, don’t you even go there, Marsha. And below we have Al Gore taking question from everyone’s favorite hero, Joe Barton. Al tells Joe that sometimes the corporations tell lies. As if Joe doesn’t know. Hey John Warner’s there too! How about that. MORE »

Earlier we showed Barney Frank yelling at the goddamn Code Pink hippies on multiple occasions, but what else happened during this latest 94-hour grandstanding spectacle of a House Financial Services Committee hearing? Why the economy got saved, of course! Ha ha. (Kill us.) America’s C-SPAN watchers did, however, get to see such luminaries as Ron Paul, Michele Bachmann and Maxine Waters confuse and/or irritate the hell out of Geithner and Bernanke (mostly Geithner — he scowls!) Plus there was this crazy guy from Illinois whom Bernanke shot down during a rare burst of self-confidence. Hooray for Congress! Burn it! MORE »

Here’s your “Tuesday Lunch Video,” hooray! During today’s House Financial Services Committee hearings with archvillains Ben Bernanke and Tim Geithner, Barney Frank interrupted each of them to admonish the daring Code Pink protesters in the room, who came with their usual cardboard signs and cat calls and what not. He told them to “grow up” because they were NOT HELPING THE BANKS with this behavior. More importantly, the CNN chyron brings us a crucial “UPDATE” during this clip: “Meghan McCain: ‘I support the president.’” So she’s a communist now, too. [YouTube, Salon]

So here are three major factors that contributed to our country’s world’s current financial misfortunes: prolonged periods of historically low interest rates (even negative real interest rates), the complete deregulation of such derivatives as credit default swaps, and encouragement from Washington that the inflated housing boom was nothing to worry about. It’s rare that you can pin so many large factors on one person, but, well, former Fed chief Alan Greenspan set the low interest rates, led the pressure on Congress to keep derivatives markets wholly deregulated, and was the voice from Washington that said everything was fine. MORE »

Oh hey Hank Paulson is talking to some lawmaker types, and a reader wrote in and was like, “Could you liveblog this?” and we thought, aw hell, we have already ripped all the hairs out of our ears and marinated in salt this morning, so why not engage in the last unpleasant activity available to us. How many drawers are being soiled in the Senate Banking Committee right now? Let’s check it out! MORE »

• WILL HE WEAR HIS ‘GOOD PANTS’?: “McClellan will testify publicly and under oath before the House Judiciary Committee on June 20 about the White House’s role in the leak and its response, his attorneys, Michael and Jane Tigar, said on Monday.” White House lawsuit in 3… 2… 1… [AP]

Now the thing about Scott McClellan is that he’s terrible, with his book, and he now may have tragically reopened the Valerie Plame “Plamegate” saga anew. John Conyers & Palz on the House Judiciary Committee are open to hearing McClellan’s testimony, meaning the White House will have to somehow stop him from testifying, meaning frozen royal press secretary Dana Perino had to give reporters some inadvertent “legal comedy” today, meaning ha ha, OH GOD. MORE »

Former United States Attorney General Alberto Gonzales makes the perfect Vice Person of the Year, because he’ll always be someone’s bitch. His subservience to Bush presented itself through various Senate hearings, where even the most tabloidy of questions would spin him into the “I do not recall” zone. Did you authorize the firings of eight US Attorneys because they weren’t prosecuting the Demrats enough? I do not recall. Did you run to John Ashcroft’s bed that time to force his morphined ass into authorizing torturey goodness? I do not recall. Do you know that if you say “I do not recall” one more time, I’ll arbitrarily call you gay and make fun of you for being gay? I… do not recall. Haha, Alberto Gonzales is gay, he likes to kiss boys and stuff, don’t you Alberto? I do not recall.

At least that’s the best I can recall.

The best newspaper on the face of the earth — the Idaho Statesman — reports that some random gay people called the “National Gay and Lesbian Task Force” are trying to nix liberal bloggers’ would-be meal ticket: The Senate ethics investigation into Larry Craig. WHY? WHY MUST YOU HATE US, MEAN GAY PEOPLE?? MORE »

“11:15 a.m. And time has stopped.” [Idolator]