Tag: hearings

Silly Al Franken! Only Republicans Are Allowed To Investigate The FBI!

These Democratic attack dogs are really going after the poor oppressed FBI.
You've made her angry. You won't like it when she's angry.

Watch Elizabeth Warren Rip A New One For Regulator Who Took A Nap During 2008 Meltdown

Welcome to episode seven million of our popular series, "Elizabeth Warren Gets Righteous On A Douchebag." The schmuck in the hot seat this time around is one Leonard Chanin, who during the George W. Bush administration was Deputy Director...
Champers all right for you, Pats? Lovely, Sweetie.

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Buys Wife Unleaded Birthday Cake Fit For Marie Antoinette

So let's say you're the governor of a state where a city of 100,000 souls has been in the news because you poisoned the water, and where roughly 9,000 children have been exposed to lead, a neurotoxin for which...
Sure it's poison. But think of the savings!

Rick Snyder Probably Too Busy Ignoring Flint’s Poison Water To Notice All The Legionnaire’s

Just in case you were feeling extra peppy and cheerful today, we're here to wipe that smile right off your face. Because the water crisis in Flint, Michigan, just managed to get a little bit uglier: in addition to...

Mommy, Why Are Those Guys On The Benghazi Show Punching Each Other?

Just before they broke for lunch, the Benghazi committee darn near turned into a fistfight between feral Republican committee chair Trey Gowdy and ranking member Elijah Cummings (D-MD), plus some kibitzing by California Rep. Adam Schiff. It all started when...
Thanks, Bern. I'll Snapchat you later

Science Fact: Everyone In America Sick And Tired Of Hillary’s Damn Benghazi Emails

Just in time for Hillary Clinton's center-stage appearance at BenghaziPalooza today, the Monmouth University Poll released a survey indicating that Bernie Sanders was completely right at the first Democratic primary debate: "The American people are sick and tired of...
Still claims not to be Eric Holder, reportedly has not yet died of old age

Loretta Lynch Won’t Impeach Obama, Obviously Not Suitable Attorney General

Wednesday was the first day of Loretta Lynch's confirmation hearings before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and so far, it looks like Republicans may consider her too "nominated by Barack Obama" to be confirmed as attorney general. In a fairly basic...
We're just kidding. Nobody's sitting calmly and playing cards in this one.

House Benghazi Committee To Investigate House Benghazi Committee

In a development that absolutely no one could have predicted if they were a blind cave fish happily feeding on isopods in a subterranean lake, it appears that there are Deep Partisan Rifts on the House Select Committee on...
Soon we can get back to insurance industry death panels the way Thomas Jefferson intended

House GOP Undecided On Whether To Investigate ‘Stupidity’

Well, here's a huge surprise: The right has found a whole new reason to repeal Obamacare, impeach Obama, and maybe bomb Iran, just for good measure (that last may only be John McCain, though). You see, there's this guy named...

Jon Stewart Literally Disembowels Secret Service, Feeds It To Unused Guard Dogs (Video)

Jon Stewart is just as flummoxed by the Secret Service's recent string of screw-ups as anyone else, and the details of the Omar Gonzales's fence-jumping and unguided White House tour just left him all the more astonished. The Secret...
These new advisors will definitely tighten things up

It’s Cool, Secret Service Just Let President Ride Elevator With Twitchy Felon With Gun, No Big

Say, have you noticed that the Secret Service really seems to suck lately? This is what we hear, at least, what with the letting a guy jump the fence and then take a self-guided tour of the White House,...

Dems Chosen For Benghazi Committee May Make The Clown Show Worth Watching After All

OK, well now we're actually kind of interested in maybe watching the Big BenghaziPalooza Screamathon that the House Republicans are planning for sometime, dog knows when; no schedule's been decided yet. Turns out that, despite some calls for Democrats...

Attorney General Eric Holder Continues War Of Wits With Unarmed Louie Gohmert

Just a day after Louie Gohmert's passive-aggressive snottiness toward him in a House hearing, Attorney General Eric Holder subtweeted the Texas Republican in a speech Holder gave to the National Action Network. On Tuesday, Gohmert had suggested that...

Darrell Issa Takes Fake Obamacare Hearings On The Road, The Better To Exclude People Who Love Their New Insurance

We bet this will come as a huge surprise: In his traveling road show of "hearings" on the ACA rollout, Darrell Issa has hand-picked the people testifying, and has excluded people who want to speak in favor of the...

Former Members Of Congress Seek Evidence of Alien Life, Their Own Continued Relevance

Six former members of Congress, two of whom you may actually have heard of if you don't live in their state, are holding 30 hours of pretend "hearings" at the National Press Club this week on the important topic...