Tag: healthcare

"Screw you, kid"

Indiana Stealing $3.5 Million From Poors, Giving It To ‘Pro-Life’ Church Ladies

Quick question: Does this sound like healthcare to you? Gov. Mike Pence announced a $3.5 million contract Monday with the anti-abortion organization Real Alternatives. The stated purpose of the Pennsylvania-based Real Alternatives is to "actively promote childbirth instead of abortion."...

Jeb Bush Doesn’t Know Dick About Women’s Healthcare

So this happened: Don't believe it? See for yourselves: Perhaps Jeb Bush, who proudly slashed Florida's funding of women's healthcare when he was the state's governor and redirected it to crisis pregnancy centers, which do not provide healthcare services, would like...

Oh Look Who Is Actually Breaking The Law (Hint: It’s Not Planned Parenthood)

Well, isn't this ironic, don't you think? The Obama administration has notified two states that took steps to halt Medicaid funds to Planned Parenthood Federation of America that they may be in conflict with federal law. The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid...

Mean RNC No Fun Anymore, Won’t Even Put Gay-Bashing In Platform

Being a staunchly conservative wingnut in America sucks these days. First Barack Obama replaced all the Christians in the military with homosexuals, and then he did gay marriage to America, and now suddenly, a good Bible-believing baker can't even...
Why don't you pass the time in the ER with a game of solitaire?

Donald Trump Will Repeal Obamacare, Replace It With Terrific Fence

Donald Trump has the YOOGEST, CLASSIEST plan ever to replace Obamacare, and it's going to be so incredible, it will probably blow his already-perfect plans for defeating ISIS out of the water, that's how good it is. On CNN...
They work!

Pro-Life Colorado Republicans Angry That Teen Abortion Rate Declining

Who would have guessed that the "pro-life" sex education plan, which is essentially "do not have sex ever, you whore," doesn't work? Everyone would have guessed that! But Colorado has a lesson to teach America about what DOES work,...
And that's how America was made!

Majority Of Americans Agree God Loves America Best

Here is some interesting news, as we U.S. Americans begin our annual weekend of getting real drunk and shooting off fireworks, due to something we read in a history book about America but can't quite remember. (Muskets were involved.)...
Future Republican Member of Congress

GOP Rep. To Supreme Court: If You Like Obamacare So Much, Why Don’t You Gay Marry It?

After the Supreme Court saved Obamacare, AGAIN, most Republicans were more or less content to stomp their feet, shake their tiny fists of fury, repeat their five-year-old warnings that expanded healthcare access will destroy America (any day now, you'll...
Sexy stoic president will give you tender-loving Obamacare.

President Obama: I Will Never Stop Cramming Obamacare Down America’s Throat

Thursday, the Supreme Court ruled, YET AGAIN, that Obamacare is just fine and dandy and great, even if Congress did a really bad job of making all their subjects and verbs agree when they wrote the damn thing. So...
It'll just screw you harder

Texas Doesn’t Care If You Have Cancer In Your Ladyparts

Now that the "pro-life" Republicans of Texas have saved women from access to abortion, for their own safety, by shutting down almost all of the state's clinics, they're ready to solve the next problem: too much access to cancer...
Spit it out to make room for your foot, Rick Perry, or a dildo, whatever.

Rick Perry Wants To Free Americans From Tyranny Of Obamacare By Letting Them Keep Obamacare

Former Texas governor and current "presidential candidate" Rick Perry is talking out of both sides of his butthole (each side featuring perfectly coiffed hair) when it comes to Obamacare. He's agin' it, of course, and it needs to be repealed. But...
Looks the same going in and going out!

Taco Bell To Congress: Here’s 6,000 Free Tacos, Now Help Us Screw Our Workers

At first this story will seem like a Nice Time, but it is not, so stop smiling and definitely stop making plans to have a serious craving for Taco Bell when you are stoned or drunk later. Taco Bell...
Obamacare yay, gay sprinkles in mah coffee BOO.

Even This Cuddly Teabagger Dude Might Vote For Hillary, So He Can Keep His Beloved Obamacare

Tyrant Obama sure did set a mighty fine trap for the Republican Party, with their constant efforts to repeal Obamacare! With the full benefits of the Affordable Care Act starting to come to fruition in 2014, and even more...

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Reminisce About The Week That Was!

Hola, Wonkerados! How is your Easter Sunday going? Ours is very nice! Won't you sit and have some internet brunch with us, so we can reminisce about all the lovely things that happened during the week? It wasn't all...
McMorris Rodgers' original graph, which proves that all Obamacares lead down a jagged path to cupcakes.

Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers Declares Victory Over Obamacare Fans, Goes Home

Last week, Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Washington) decided it might be a neat idea to stop playing Farmville for a second and update her FacePlace status, with that dumb looking graph above, just asking hey, everyone, how did Obamacare...
Step Up, ISIS

Candidate Walker Touts Awesome Program That Governor Walker Wants To Cut

At last week's Iowa Ag Summit, rumored presidential candidate and confirmed smarmy weathervane Scott Walker wowed Republicans with faux-sincerity and triangulated tales of the Heartland. Walker appealed to folks by trumpeting Wisconsin's efforts to improve healthcare in remote areas. A...