• YES WE WILL LIVEBLOG PRESIDENT OBAMA’S TOWN HALL WITH PITCHFORK-WIELDING MOBS AT 1PM EASTERN: As if you had to ask. Go get yourself some cut-rate Canadian oxycontin and we’ll see you back here in half an hour.

Look, it’s the adorable newlywed Melody Barnes discussing with a straight(ish) face the REAL TRUTH behind the much-ballyhooed Panel of Experts who will advise you on the best methods for saving the State the cost of supporting your elderly carcass once you no longer serve as an effective food or work source. Apparently the so-called health care “reformers” just want you to be able to access information about getting a living will. Occam’s razor here, folks! What’s more believable: that Obama wants to encourage people to communicate more with their doctors, or that this Barnes character is just some alien android created expressly for eugenics propaganda purposes? [Health Insurance Reform Reality Check]

Last night, Barry the Sorcerer arose from a sylvan glade and levitated serenely above the blobulous greaseballs known as “the press corps” before delivering some lighthearted remarks about death and dying. This man loves him some Boston fern. [WhiteHouse.gov]