Tag Archives: healthcare

  He probably spent all the Wonkette donations on drugs

Anti-Obamacare Sheriff Still Hates Obamacare, Says Thank You Libtards For All The Moneys!

We were so excited to hear that the virulently anti-Obamacare Sheriff Richard Mack, whose ass Wonkette readers helped bail out since he has a ton of medical bills and refuses to buy insurance, was on the HuffPostLive. “Oh great,” we thought, “he is going to cry and thank Wonkette and ask us to be his lord and savior, or at least name his next kitten after us, this will be beautiful.” Read more on Anti-Obamacare Sheriff Still Hates Obamacare, Says Thank You Libtards For All The Moneys!…
  Wonkette heals the sick

Wonkette Commenters Teach Obamacare-Hating Sheriff A Lesson By Paying His Medical Bills

Except this time it is Wonkette being Jesus!
Wonkette is a force for good in the world, it has been proven! On Friday, we had the story of former Arizona sheriff guy Richard Mack, a wingnut Oath Keeper, who has also been a very public opponent of the tyrannical reach-around that is Obamacare. Mack and his wife do not have health insurance, because FREEDOM, but sadly both have suffered major health setbacks in the past several months, which has led them to experience the uniquely American wonders of getting driven into the poor house, due to ain’t got no health insurance. Read more on Wonkette Commenters Teach Obamacare-Hating Sheriff A Lesson By Paying His Medical Bills…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!

Haha, 'COORS'
Since Disqus has brought us a bunch of new commenters (Hi! Welcome To The Monkeyhouse! Play nice!), we’d just like to ‘splain why we moderate comments in the first place, instead of allowing unfettered Free Speach: It’s because we are big believers in the First Amendment, which gives us the right to run our little mommyblog/recipe hub/Pony appreciation society however the hell we want to. It’s our parlor, and if we choose not to invite someone in because they’re intent on muddying up the carpet and shitting on the credenza, or even if we don’t like their Gadsden Flag t-shirt, that’s our business. Don’t like it? Do some Free Enterprise and offer the Editrix an obscene amount of money to buy the site so you can change how things work. (We hear she’ll only sell if the staff get some pretty impressive golden parachutes.) Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!…
  If Obama hadn't done it none of this would be a problem

GOP So Mad Obama Failed To Plan For GOP Destruction Of Obamacare

The other day we introduced you all to our new favorite people, the World Net Daily-style commenters recruited as plaintiffs in the latest Republican lawsuit to destroy Obamacare forever and ever. The case is called King v. Burwell, and it’s a complex lawsuit, but let’s try to spell it out: Under the Affordable Care Act, subsidies are provided to qualifying people in order to help them pay for their insurance, and they are provided by state insurance exchanges, and in states that were too lazy/wingnut to set up said exchanges, the federal government handles the subsidies. Read more on GOP So Mad Obama Failed To Plan For GOP Destruction Of Obamacare…
  RIP Obamacare maybe?

Supreme Court Gets Another Chance To Impeach Obamacare

Maybe SCOTUS will pull the plug on grandma after all
Did you think Obamacare was settled law just because it is the law, and settled, and the Supreme Court agreed that yes, it is the law, and settled? Ha, idiots! As Republicans have been telling us since before President Obama even signed the Affordable Care Act, they will vote to repeal it as many times at it takes — so far, more than 50 — until it is gone forever. And after Tuesday’s election, Sen. Mitch McConnell and House Speaker John Boehner said AGAIN that they are going to fix all the things the president has done to destroy America by repealing Obamacare, for real this time, which will create jobs somehow, not sure how that works, Republican magic, probably. Read more on Supreme Court Gets Another Chance To Impeach Obamacare…
  nice time!

All The Lady-Americans Are Saving Money On Slut Pills, Thanks Obama!

Best news of the day
Hooray, woot, yessssssss, #winning, and other celebratory expressions of joy. Here’s some good news, which we all need right about now, don’t we? According to a new study by the Guttmacher Institute (you can read the full study here, if you’re that kind of full-study-reading nerd), President Obama’s war on God and the First Amendment, also known as the no co-pay contraception provision of the Affordable Care Act, is working. Like, really working. Read more on All The Lady-Americans Are Saving Money On Slut Pills, Thanks Obama!…
  Katie Pavlich Attempts Journalism Again

Wingnut Outraged: Planned Parenthood Trying To Take Away Your Birth Control, Probably

Don't ask me, I'm just a girl...OH DAMMIT, THERE WE GO AGAIN WITH THE MISOGYNY.
It has been some time since we produced an edition of our semi-regular feature That’s Our Katie!, wherein we chronicle the idiocy of Townhall bobblehead Katie Pavlich. Mostly we have avoided writing this feature because doing so requires us to read Katie Pavlich’s work, and our therapist has had us working on our self-respect lately. But screw it, we successfully balanced our checkbook yesterday and we’re feeling good! Read more on Wingnut Outraged: Planned Parenthood Trying To Take Away Your Birth Control, Probably…
  clipbait

John Oliver’s New HBO Show Punches Hippies, Hipsters, Obamacare (Video)

John Oliver’s new HBO show, Last Week Tonight With John Oliver, premiered Sunday on that premium channel that we don’t subscribe to, and here is a clip from it! We are rather inclined to love Mr. Oliver, and here he is in fine form with a rant about Oregon’s completely broken ACA website, which the state finally euthanized last week. As part of the $250 million the state sank into a website that enrolled nobody on the exchange, there was some $3 million for advertisements, some of which were, as Oliver accurately describes them, “violently adorable.” Read more on John Oliver’s New HBO Show Punches Hippies, Hipsters, Obamacare (Video)…
  clipbait

The Daily Show Looks At The Greatest American Healthcare In The Greatest America Ever

The Daily Show squeezes amazing comedy mileage from this ridiculously simple premise: Take a rightwing cliché at face value and then go into the world to check the fit. And so Aasif Mandvi went to Knoxville, Tennesee with a charity doctor to test the premise that America has “the greatest healthcare system in the world.” After all, Fox Business Network commentator Todd Wilemon warns that Obamacare threatens to someday turn our healthcare into something you might find in the third world. And sure enough, accompanying Dr. Stan Brock of Remote Area Medical to Knoxville, he found a gymnasium crowded with impoverished people desperate to be seen by a doctor, but unable to pay for care. Read more on The Daily Show Looks At The Greatest American Healthcare In The Greatest America Ever…
  this guy sucks harder than a drunk rick santorum

Pardon Us If We Are Mistaken, But Might Darrell Issa Possibly Be Trying To Sabotage Efforts To Fix Obamacare Website?

So last week we told you how Darrell Issa was being a total dickhole, which is only natural for one who has been projectile vomited from the dark depths of Satan’s nether-regions. Well, Issa followed through on his threat to subpoena Todd Park, the chief IT guy at the White House who is feverishly working to fix the healthcare.gov website. In an apparent attempt to be hipster-ironic, “Issa said Park’s “long history of involvement in the development and rollout of HealthCare.Gov” made his testimony crucial to ensuring the site gets fixed, according to The Hill. However, what might actually help ensure the site gets fixed would be to #LetToddWork. Yes, it’s a hashtag and a website and a movement and possibly a revolution, so let’s sexplore.  Read more on Pardon Us If We Are Mistaken, But Might Darrell Issa Possibly Be Trying To Sabotage Efforts To Fix Obamacare Website?…
  apocalypse soon

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special We Are Terrible At Healthcare And Public Art Edition

Have you been reading a lot of smart takes, a lot of thinkpieces, about how much the computer-y part of the healthcare roll out sucks, and the gubmint should have magically figured out a way to sign up oodles of people who need to provide oodles of data and done so without any glitches in their website, because that’s a totes easy thing to do? Sure you have, but you probably haven’t read the New York Times version yet! Are you gonna read that article? Nah, because it is pretty much the same old same old. Many problems with the website. Many not enough monies to do this thing right. Many insurance executives having a sad. To all of this, we say: single payer, bitches. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special We Are Terrible At Healthcare And Public Art Edition…
  concern troll is concerned

Peggy Noonan Not Impressed With This Obamacare And Its Fancy Computer Machines

Peggy Noonan lounged in her sitting-room high above the island of Manhattan, morning highball glass parked at her elbow, as she pondered the government shutdown taking place far below her well-appointed aerie. How would it affect her? Would she be able to ride the Acela down to Washington this weekend to blather on the Sunday show with the tiny Greek man, as usual? Most importantly, what solution could she, Sister Margaret Ellen Noonan of the Order of Our Lady of the Laudanum Latte, offer to break through this impasse, on the chance that the uppity colored man currently occupying Ronald Reagan’s old house would listen to her? Dimly, as if they had been cawed from a great distance by a flock of sparrows circling over a meadow, two terms broke through the fog enveloping Peggy’s mind. The first was Obamacare. The second was concern-trolling. The good Sister picked up her quill, dipped it into the jar of amniotic fluid she kept on her desk, and began to scratch her column across the crackling parchment in front of her. Read more on Peggy Noonan Not Impressed With This Obamacare And Its Fancy Computer Machines…
  male-pattern dumbness

Fox: Why Are Women So Greedy, With Their Breast And Ovarian Cancer Costing Men All This Money?

Hey ladies! Have you met Fox medical expert Dr. David Samadi? He is here to sexplain to us all that Obamacare is VERY STUPID to mandate that women and men be charged the same for insurance, because of how the women have the breasts and the ovaries, and they are just bogarting all the medical care, and why should the douchey one, Brian Kilmeade, be forced to pay for Gretchen Carlson’s dumb old cooter just because she is addicted to going to the doctor and getting pap smears and not dying of ovarian cancer? Man, women love going to the doctor like they love buying SHOES, amirite? Gretchen Carlson, you are a greedy slut. Read more on Fox: Why Are Women So Greedy, With Their Breast And Ovarian Cancer Costing Men All This Money?…
  that's some brass

Dumb Texas Governor Rick Perry Hates Obamacare, Would Like Some Obamacare Please

Oh hell yes. Coyote-shootin’, painkiller-gobblin’, can’t remember three things in a row master debater with the super awesome hair Governor from Texas Rick Perry emerged from his closet today to beg for Obamacare money because of how much he hates Obamacare money. But, hey man, a hundred million dollars is a hundred million dollars and Rick wants it for his state and we are sure someone he knows is probably going to profit from it somehow. Perry health aides are negotiating with the Obama administration on the terms of an optional Obamacare program that would allow Texas to claim stepped-up Medicaid funding for the care of people with disabilities. Maybe some of these negotiations will include things like, we’d love to help your people, but how’s about you stop being such a dick about a program that you are trying to suck money out of, eh Governor? Or, hey Rick, you can have this money if we can literally shove some of it down your throat until you can’t say stupid shit about healthcare programs when your state has the highest percentage of uninsured people in the entire fucking country? Hahaha, just kidding, that will never happen. Read more on Dumb Texas Governor Rick Perry Hates Obamacare, Would Like Some Obamacare Please…
  slavery is freedom

Ted Cruz’s Dad Seems Nice

Hey, remember Ted Cruz’s Jerk Baby? She was fun! We dug her! Well, move over, Jerk Baby, you are now officially the Chillest Member of Ted Cruz’s Family Of Funtimes Friends. Here is Ted Cruz’s dad, via the Des Moines Register, blah blah blahing about Fidel Castro and stuff, and how Barack Obama is Castro times Stalin plus Dorothy Day probably. But then he gets unboring and starts a-whoopin’ and a-frothin’ like he is Rick Santorum’s dad instead of the Canadian Anchor Babby’s! Read more on Ted Cruz’s Dad Seems Nice…
  Curry-eating soccer-rioting nancies need health care too

Cato Institute ‘Thinker’ Would Like To Remind You That Royal Baby Was Born In Nightmarish Socialized Dystopic Hellscape

Oh what joy spread across the desiccated carcass of the once-great British Empire and her former colonies yesterday with the most anticipated birth since that geeky weirdo, whathisname, knocked up that hot girl on “Friends.” There were hosannas and fireworks and countless terrible jokes tweeted out and posted on countless Facebook feeds. Here at the Hall of Justice Wonkette World Headquarters there were blingees and much drinking, though to be fair that would have happened anyway, for Monday was a “day” on the “calendar” by which humans organize the “time-space continuum.” Of course some people have to be killjoys and use the birth of even the most adorable product of centuries of cousin-fucking and inbreeding to slag on Britain’s unaccountably popular godless socialized healthcare system. Read more on Cato Institute ‘Thinker’ Would Like To Remind You That Royal Baby Was Born In Nightmarish Socialized Dystopic Hellscape…
  michael j. fox will be first against the wall

Hero Senator Ted Cruz Will Death Panel Everyone With M.S.

Do you or a loved one suffer from Multiple Sclerosis? Well, please don’t tell US Senator from the Great State of Texas and total Anchor Babby Ted Cruz about it, because he will Death Panel you or them for fun and profit. A once uncontroversial and bipartisan resolution to honor Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Week has been MURDERED IN ITS CRIB by the good Senator Cruz. But why would he do this? Is Ted Cruz for Multiple Sclerosis? Is it because of that time Rush Limbaugh made fun of Michael J. Fox’s MS*, and as goes Limbaugh so goes a truckload of vomit in the shape of a man? According to Politico, “He was unhappy with a clause in the resolution describing the purpose of the Multiple Sclerosis Coalition, according to a Democratic staffer.” What the? A “clause in the resolution”? Is it abortion, or BENGHAZIIIIIII????? Let us see if we can parse this mystery, together! Read more on Hero Senator Ted Cruz Will Death Panel Everyone With M.S….
  mooches

We Are Sure Those Sick Children Did Not Need The Millions Of Dollars Governor Mitt Romney Stole From Their Budget

Here is what you have been missing if you haven’t been paying attention to the Romney/Ryan campaign for the past few weeks: 47% of the country are losers! No wait, maybe it’s 60%! Either way, we need to cut government aid to Poors so we can break the cycle of government dependency! Less Medicaid will mean more prosperity! Etc! It therefore came as a BIG FUCKING SURPRISE when we learned that Romney aggressively pursued federal government assistance when he was the governor of Massachusetts. It was not, however, a BIG FUCKING SURPRISE to learn that he balanced the budget by taking millions of dollars from something called the Catastrophic Illness in Children Relief Fund. Read more on We Are Sure Those Sick Children Did Not Need The Millions Of Dollars Governor Mitt Romney Stole From Their Budget…
  you have nothing to fear but dying in a hospital alone

Mitt Romney: None Of You Poors Die, I Think?

Mitt Romney, in his relentless effort to win over the liberal media by telling them strings of words that make it sound like he’s thinking, talked to the Columbus Dispatch yesterday about healthcare. Perhaps the most controversial part of Romney’s healthcare plan (haha, we kid, Romney has no plan) is getting rid of Obamacare’s preexisting guarantee coverage. How, then, will Romney deal with that? Romney, in a meeting with The Dispatch’s editorial board, said those who currently don’t carry insurance would have a chance to make a “choice” to be covered without fear of being denied. But he didn’t specify how long Americans would have to make that choice, or what would happen to those who chose not to be covered and later fell sick. This is a rather smart way of dealing with people who have preexisting conditions on a particular date, then laughing at everyone else who didn’t discover their liver cancer until after Mitt Romney said it was okay. But what about everyone else? What if I decide to metastasize my tumor later on? Never fear, there’s a plan there, too! Read more on Mitt Romney: None Of You Poors Die, I Think?…
  lucky duckies

Socialized ER Care Is Such A Sweet Deal, Unless You Have Ball Cancer

Isn’t it wonderful to live in the land of socialized health care, where You People can all go to the ER of our local hospitals and receive medical services that everyone else pays for? As Mitt pointed out, “If someone has a heart attack, they don’t sit in their apartment and die. We pick them up in an ambulance and take them to the hospital and give them care.” And indeed we do! But what if that same uninsured or underinsured Someone has, say, testicular cancer? Do we pick him up in an ambulance and take him to the hospital and give him care? No. We do not. We tell him that we won’t treat him, but that it’s “urgent” he get care. Read more on Socialized ER Care Is Such A Sweet Deal, Unless You Have Ball Cancer…
  like a policy porn star

Mitt Romney Takes Four Different Positions On Pre-Existing Conditions In Twelve Hours

Yesterday, David Gregory had an exclusive breaking up to the minute two-part interview with the Romneys on Meet the Press. The first part of the interview was spent awkwardly sitting super-close to the Romneys and asking them kind of silly questions as the bus bounced up and down and maybe David Gregory got a little bit carsick. 9 AM EST At one point, Gregory asked the Romney hive mind if it would keep any parts of Obamacare. Romney responded thusly: Romney told Gregory he “likes parts of” Obamacare, and that he would leave in place the prohibition against excluding people with pre-existing conditions and the policy that lets young adults stay on their parents’ insurance policies “up to whatever age they might like,” Romney said, rather unbelievably. “I say we’re going to replace Obamacare. And I’m replacing it with my own plan. And even in Massachusetts when I was governor, our plan there deals with pre-existing conditions and with young people.” This is really, really big news. Obamacare guarantees that you will not be discriminated against in terms of pricing or insurance issue if you have a preexisting condition, even if you were not covered while you had the preexisting condition. Because this is 2012 and we live in America, this is somehow still an issue that needs to be dealt with. Romney has never said this before, and so it is a massive shift in his stance on this issue. That means, of course, that it was actually a massive screw-up, and  it’s all the liberal media’s fault. Read more on Mitt Romney Takes Four Different Positions On Pre-Existing Conditions In Twelve Hours…