Tag Archives: health insurance

  Oh look more good news

BREAKING: Obamacare Good For You, Whether You Like It Or Not

Yes, you do, whether you realize it or not Well, shoe horns and suck a penis, what have we here? Why, it’s another study about how terrific Obamacare is. But haven’t we already reported ALL the studies at you, a thousand frickin’ times, about how Obamacare is giving more Americans greater access to better and cheaper healthcare and saving everyone — the government, hospitals, your grandma — lots of money? Yes, we have, but it is A Day, so here, have some more: Read more on BREAKING: Obamacare Good For You, Whether You Like It Or Not…
  He's A Pretty Smart Guy

Donald Trump Will Repeal Obamacare, Replace It With Terrific Fence

Why don't you pass the time in the ER with a game of solitaire?
Donald Trump has the YOOGEST, CLASSIEST plan ever to replace Obamacare, and it’s going to be so incredible, it will probably blow his already-perfect plans for defeating ISIS out of the water, that’s how good it is. On CNN this week, Trump outlined his detailed plans for getting rid of Obamacare: “It’s gotta go … Repeal and replace with something terrific.” But lest you think that’s a bit short on detail, he also explained that TrumpCare would rely on the free market, and would allow people to buy insurance in any state they want. But for people who can’t afford private insurance, he’s no monster; he’d take decisive action: Read more on Donald Trump Will Repeal Obamacare, Replace It With Terrific Fence…
  Probably because everybody's been death paneled already

Tyrant Obamacare Insuring More Americans Than Ever, Thanks Obama!

This is what Obamacare insurance cards look like, right?
Looking at this new chart from the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, America is starting to resemble a developed nation! In 2013, just before the forcible throat-cramming of quality, affordable healthcare began, 18% of Americans were uninsured. And now that number is down to … this can’t be right. This poll must have a liberal bias. They must have only asked Americans who don’t love America, because it says that the uninsured rate has precipitously dropped in the intervening time, down to 11.4%. Read it and weep, fuckers: Read more on Tyrant Obamacare Insuring More Americans Than Ever, Thanks Obama!…
  nice time!

Pro-Life Colorado Republicans Angry That Teen Abortion Rate Declining

They work!
Who would have guessed that the “pro-life” sex education plan, which is essentially “do not have sex ever, you whore,” doesn’t work? Everyone would have guessed that! But Colorado has a lesson to teach America about what DOES work, and it is free birth control for everyone, so that ladies can do sex without worrying about unplanned pregnancies. We’re not sure the religious right will like this news, because it also means that ladies can do sex without asking their permission: Read more on Pro-Life Colorado Republicans Angry That Teen Abortion Rate Declining…
  never give up never surrender

GOP Rep. To Supreme Court: If You Like Obamacare So Much, Why Don’t You Gay Marry It?

Future Republican Member of Congress
After the Supreme Court saved Obamacare, AGAIN, most Republicans were more or less content to stomp their feet, shake their tiny fists of fury, repeat their five-year-old warnings that expanded healthcare access will destroy America (any day now, you’ll see!), and have themselves a good cry. And we drank of their tears, and enjoyed them ever so. Read more on GOP Rep. To Supreme Court: If You Like Obamacare So Much, Why Don’t You Gay Marry It?…
  Victory lap!

President Obama: I Will Never Stop Cramming Obamacare Down America’s Throat

Sexy stoic president will give you tender-loving Obamacare.
Thursday, the Supreme Court ruled, YET AGAIN, that Obamacare is just fine and dandy and great, even if Congress did a really bad job of making all their subjects and verbs agree when they wrote the damn thing. So can we please stop talking about this now? One person who does not want to stop talking about it is President Obama, who decided to ride around the White House lawn on his victory steed, alternately shouting things like “Suck it so hard, haters!” and “I am the best at Presidenting!” and “Look, Michelle, no hands!” Read more on President Obama: I Will Never Stop Cramming Obamacare Down America’s Throat…
  that’s not very nice

Maine Republicans Want To Cure Infertility, Unless You Had A Disease In Your Filthy Vagina

Everyone woman should have babies except not
Some fellas in the Maine legislature think it would be nice if health insurance covered infertility treatment for ladies what want to have babies but cannot. So the state’s Republican Senate Majority Leader Garrett Mason has introduced S.P. 334, An Act To Provide Access to Infertility Treatment so infertility treatment will be more affordable. That’s sweet of him! Testifying before the Committee on Insurance and Financial Services earlier this month, Sen. Mason explained why he has introduced this bill: Read more on Maine Republicans Want To Cure Infertility, Unless You Had A Disease In Your Filthy Vagina…
  Bleat On The Brat

How Is Obamacare Turning Us Into Nazi North Korea Today?

American Pony is Superior Pony! And Smarter than David Brat.
Gosh, remember when former House Majority Leader Eric Cantor lost his primary to some Tea Party loon named David Brat, and we laughed and laughed and looked forward to all the crazy stupid stuff Brat would do in Congress? Except how Brat was just kind of garden variety dumb, and not generally all that funny? Oh, sure, there was the time he said we don’t need to worry about education funding none, because Socrates just taught on a rock with a stick, and that was funny, but only rated about 450 MilliGohmerts. Read more on How Is Obamacare Turning Us Into Nazi North Korea Today?…
  A Rest Stop On The Way To Galt's Gulch

Obamacare Reign Of Terror Continues: More Americans Insured Than Ever Before

If this terror continues, even more people will have healthcare! God help us!
The number of uninsured Americans continues to decline, as almost 9 out of 10 Americans now have health insurance. This is, of course, proof that Obamacare has completely failed, because the Kenyan Usurper OBVIOUSLY LIED about being able to keep your current insurance plan, and also the website was broken for the first few months. And Socialism. And death panels. Read more on Obamacare Reign Of Terror Continues: More Americans Insured Than Ever Before…
  It's Not A Change Of Heart If You Lack One In The First Place

Alabama Doctor-Senator Was Just Kidding When He Filed Revenge Bill Against Dead Patient

Let's hear it for the free press. And public shaming.
Well that was satisfyingly fast. After news broke late last week that Alabama state Sen. Larry Stutts, an OB/GYN, was trying to repeal a 1999 law passed after a woman died under his care, Stutts turned around Tuesday and withdrew the bill, muttering that he’d have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for those meddling reporters. Read more on Alabama Doctor-Senator Was Just Kidding When He Filed Revenge Bill Against Dead Patient…
  Troll Me Twice...Don't Get Trolled Again

Asking For ‘Obamacare Horror Stories’ Not Working Out That Well For Lying Assclown Cathy McMorris Rodgers

Statistician Twilight Is Offended By Your Pathetic Excuse For A Plot
Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Washington) had a great idea to document just how horrible Obamacare has been for Americans: She went to her Facebook page, posted a chart that doesn’t merely lie about the ACA but also makes no logical sense (a bullet point list of lies would at least look sensible, but a line graph?), and invited readers to share their Obamacare horror stories: Read more on Asking For ‘Obamacare Horror Stories’ Not Working Out That Well For Lying Assclown Cathy McMorris Rodgers…
  Obama's filling your grandma's doughnut hole right nice

Obamacare Death Panels Oklahoma Old People, By Giving Them So Much Money

Now Grandma gets to go to the Horseshoe, THANKS OBAMA.
U.S. Americans have been lately wondering why their Oklahoma Grandma has been sending them TWO crisp twenties for their birthdays these past few years. Is she sick? Has she reached the point where she can’t count moneys anymore? GOOD NEWS, it is not that, your Okie Mee-Maw is just fine! It turns out that, due to the Affordable Care Act, more popularly known as “Obamacare,” Grandma Rose has a bit more cash to throw around, stemming from Obamacare’s efforts to close the so-called “doughnut hole” in Medicare Part D, a dumb coverage gap that causes seniors to spend many extra dollars per year on prescriptions that they actually need. So far, though, since Black President death paneled all the Olds in 2010, Oklahoma grandmas (and grandpas, and grandsgenders, and also disabled people covered by Medicare who are not “grand” age) have saved $191 million on their prescription drugs, hurray! You know who is going to the race track this weekend? Yes, it is Grandma Rose and her 65,158 best friends: Read more on Obamacare Death Panels Oklahoma Old People, By Giving Them So Much Money…
  Ain't Too Proud To Beg But Definitely Too Proud To Admit To It

Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Begs For More Filthy Liberal Money, Is Not A Beggar

Obamacare-hatin’ Sheriff Richard Mack called into the Thom Hartmann Program, and while the Sheriff’s cardiovascular system is still recovering from a heart attack, his balls still appear to be plump, healthy, and clad in the highest-quality brass. Mack insists that he don’t need no handouts, and also thank you for all the handouts, please keep ’em comin’. Read more on Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Begs For More Filthy Liberal Money, Is Not A Beggar…
  He probably spent all the Wonkette donations on drugs

Anti-Obamacare Sheriff Still Hates Obamacare, Says Thank You Libtards For All The Moneys!

We were so excited to hear that the virulently anti-Obamacare Sheriff Richard Mack, whose ass Wonkette readers helped bail out since he has a ton of medical bills and refuses to buy insurance, was on the HuffPostLive. “Oh great,” we thought, “he is going to cry and thank Wonkette and ask us to be his lord and savior, or at least name his next kitten after us, this will be beautiful.” Read more on Anti-Obamacare Sheriff Still Hates Obamacare, Says Thank You Libtards For All The Moneys!…
  It's Showtime! Again!

How Millions Could Lose Healthcare Over Six Words: Your Obamacare SCOTUS Wonksplainer

please uphold so we can get on with our lives
Today, the Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in King v. Burwell, a case challenging the legality of the federal subsidy provision of the ACA, because rather than just having a robust legislative debate culminating in a law, and then moving on with their goddamned lives, Republicans have voted to repeal it 56 times since President Obama signed it in March 2010, unleashing the tyranny of private market health insurance on all of us. After today’s oral arguments, the Supremes will hang out, have some drinks, braid each other’s hair, and then issue a decision in June as to whether the ACA’s federal subsidies are good to go in states using the federal insurance marketplace, or whether people in the states that declined to set up their own exchanges will suddenly, oops, no longer be eligible for federal subsidies. And then there will death spirals everywhere! Let’s ACAsplore. Read more on How Millions Could Lose Healthcare Over Six Words: Your Obamacare SCOTUS Wonksplainer…