Tag Archives: health insurance

  Troll Me Twice...Don't Get Trolled Again

Asking For ‘Obamacare Horror Stories’ Not Working Out That Well For Lying Assclown Cathy McMorris Rodgers

Statistician Twilight Is Offended By Your Pathetic Excuse For A Plot
Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Washington) had a great idea to document just how horrible Obamacare has been for Americans: She went to her Facebook page, posted a chart that doesn’t merely lie about the ACA but also makes no logical sense (a bullet point list of lies would at least look sensible, but a line graph?), and invited readers to share their Obamacare horror stories: Read more on Asking For ‘Obamacare Horror Stories’ Not Working Out That Well For Lying Assclown Cathy McMorris Rodgers…
  Obama's filling your grandma's doughnut hole right nice

Obamacare Death Panels Oklahoma Old People, By Giving Them So Much Money

Now Grandma gets to go to the Horseshoe, THANKS OBAMA.
U.S. Americans have been lately wondering why their Oklahoma Grandma has been sending them TWO crisp twenties for their birthdays these past few years. Is she sick? Has she reached the point where she can’t count moneys anymore? GOOD NEWS, it is not that, your Okie Mee-Maw is just fine! It turns out that, due to the Affordable Care Act, more popularly known as “Obamacare,” Grandma Rose has a bit more cash to throw around, stemming from Obamacare’s efforts to close the so-called “doughnut hole” in Medicare Part D, a dumb coverage gap that causes seniors to spend many extra dollars per year on prescriptions that they actually need. So far, though, since Black President death paneled all the Olds in 2010, Oklahoma grandmas (and grandpas, and grandsgenders, and also disabled people covered by Medicare who are not “grand” age) have saved $191 million on their prescription drugs, hurray! You know who is going to the race track this weekend? Yes, it is Grandma Rose and her 65,158 best friends: Read more on Obamacare Death Panels Oklahoma Old People, By Giving Them So Much Money…
  Ain't Too Proud To Beg But Definitely Too Proud To Admit To It

Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Begs For More Filthy Liberal Money, Is Not A Beggar

Obamacare-hatin’ Sheriff Richard Mack called into the Thom Hartmann Program, and while the Sheriff’s cardiovascular system is still recovering from a heart attack, his balls still appear to be plump, healthy, and clad in the highest-quality brass. Mack insists that he don’t need no handouts, and also thank you for all the handouts, please keep ‘em comin’. Read more on Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Begs For More Filthy Liberal Money, Is Not A Beggar…
  He probably spent all the Wonkette donations on drugs

Anti-Obamacare Sheriff Still Hates Obamacare, Says Thank You Libtards For All The Moneys!

We were so excited to hear that the virulently anti-Obamacare Sheriff Richard Mack, whose ass Wonkette readers helped bail out since he has a ton of medical bills and refuses to buy insurance, was on the HuffPostLive. “Oh great,” we thought, “he is going to cry and thank Wonkette and ask us to be his lord and savior, or at least name his next kitten after us, this will be beautiful.” Read more on Anti-Obamacare Sheriff Still Hates Obamacare, Says Thank You Libtards For All The Moneys!…
  It's Showtime! Again!

How Millions Could Lose Healthcare Over Six Words: Your Obamacare SCOTUS Wonksplainer

please uphold so we can get on with our lives
Today, the Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in King v. Burwell, a case challenging the legality of the federal subsidy provision of the ACA, because rather than just having a robust legislative debate culminating in a law, and then moving on with their goddamned lives, Republicans have voted to repeal it 56 times since President Obama signed it in March 2010, unleashing the tyranny of private market health insurance on all of us. After today’s oral arguments, the Supremes will hang out, have some drinks, braid each other’s hair, and then issue a decision in June as to whether the ACA’s federal subsidies are good to go in states using the federal insurance marketplace, or whether people in the states that declined to set up their own exchanges will suddenly, oops, no longer be eligible for federal subsidies. And then there will death spirals everywhere! Let’s ACAsplore. Read more on How Millions Could Lose Healthcare Over Six Words: Your Obamacare SCOTUS Wonksplainer…
  Meet The New Plan: Same As The Old Plan

GOP Pinky-Swears They Will ‘Fix’ Obamacare, If We Just Let Them Smash It To Bitses

Packed by weight, not volume
Just in case the Supreme Court strikes down Obamacare’s subsidies for people who bought health insurance on the federal exchange, three Republican senators have written an important Op-Ed in the Washington Post to reassure Americans that “We have a plan for fixing health care.” It’s a pretty impressive plan that should allay the worries of the 6 million Americans who signed up through the federal marketplace that they’ll suddenly be unable to afford decent insurance. Again. Read more on GOP Pinky-Swears They Will ‘Fix’ Obamacare, If We Just Let Them Smash It To Bitses…
  If Obama hadn't done it none of this would be a problem

GOP So Mad Obama Failed To Plan For GOP Destruction Of Obamacare

The other day we introduced you all to our new favorite people, the World Net Daily-style commenters recruited as plaintiffs in the latest Republican lawsuit to destroy Obamacare forever and ever. The case is called King v. Burwell, and it’s a complex lawsuit, but let’s try to spell it out: Under the Affordable Care Act, subsidies are provided to qualifying people in order to help them pay for their insurance, and they are provided by state insurance exchanges, and in states that were too lazy/wingnut to set up said exchanges, the federal government handles the subsidies. Read more on GOP So Mad Obama Failed To Plan For GOP Destruction Of Obamacare…
  Just Wait Til You Hear About The Tax Cuts

Boehner And McConnell Have Awesome Replacement For Obamacare But Left It In Their Other Pants

Two men, no plan, Nalponnemowt!
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnnell and Speaker of the House John Boehner went on the 60 Minute televisual informatical program Sunday to explain all the exciting plans the Republicans have for uprooting Obamacare and replacing it with something much better, except that the part where they actually said what the replacement would be kind of got left out. Asked to explain the GOP’s Obamacare alternative, Boehner offered a clear-eyed vision of the past and how things might have been different, maybe: Read more on Boehner And McConnell Have Awesome Replacement For Obamacare But Left It In Their Other Pants…
  Not Obamacare At All Nope Nope Nope

Tennessee Expands Medicaid, Gets Permission To Not Call It Obamacare

Everyone's favorite mascot is back
Well, here’s a bit of nice time: Tennessee has decided to opt in to the Affordable Care Act’s expansion of Medicaid after all. Of course Republican Gov. Bill Haslam is being very careful to depict the move as a victory over the oppressive federal government: it’s a pilot plan for a program called “Insure Tennessee,” and it’s only set to run two years. No way is this an embrace of the Big Government socialist takeover of healthcare. Sure, it’s going to use federal and state funds to provide coverage for healthcare for low-income Tennesseans, but it’s completely different from Medicaid expansion: Read more on Tennessee Expands Medicaid, Gets Permission To Not Call It Obamacare…
  Blue Crossed Fingers

Here Is A Funny Obamacare Ad, For Funny Joke Times Hooray

You'll be OK. Probably
With Obamacare open enrollment moving right along — and so successful that even John Boehner is keeping his Obamacare — the Illinois ACA exchange, Get Covered Illinois, is running a nifty new ad to inform you that there actually are some no-cost alternatives to having health coverage, like the “Luck Health Plan.” It has no premiums, no deductibles, and only one small down side: no coverage. Read more on Here Is A Funny Obamacare Ad, For Funny Joke Times Hooray…
  Many Bocans Died For These Plans

Florida GOP Vaporizes Obamacare With Fully Operational Free Market Alternative

Now, observe the power of the free market!
Florida Republicans had a great idea: Instead of expanding Medicaid under the socialist tyranny of Obamacare, they’d let the Free Market show off what it could do. So they spent $900,000 to build a website that would allow Floridians to buy private health insurance plans from participating companies. Competition would surely lead everyone to a terrific deal! And in the six months since Florida Health Choices (floridahealthchoices.net) went online, it has proven to be a huge success, signing up 30 people, which is almost as many as the 984,000 Floridians who decided to just go with the regular socialist Obamacare options instead. Expanding Medicaid, on the other hand, would have only brought health insurance to 764,000 people who make too much money for Medicaid now, but don’t qualify for subsidies under Obamacare, so Florida Republicans can be proud that they have provided a real incentive to hundreds of thousands of people to get rich so they can not die from treatable illnesses. Read more on Florida GOP Vaporizes Obamacare With Fully Operational Free Market Alternative…
  or maybe we can have nice things

Fourth Circuit Court Removes Judicial Dick From Obamacare’s Ear

Yeah, nobody could've seen this coming.
Hey, remember how we told you just a little while ago about how the DC Circuit Court had done nonconsensual ear sexing to Obamacare? Well that story is still a True Thing, but today’s news cycle is determined to mess with our blood pressure, and so OF COURSE within a couple hours of that DC decision, the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals, based in Richmond, Virginia, ruled in a similar but separate case that, hey, NO WAY does the ACA restrict subsidies to the state exchanges — Congress’s intent, it decided, was very definitely for a national plan that didn’t penalize people for living in a state where the legislature was too stupid or ass-fucking-backwards to build its own exchange. Read more on Fourth Circuit Court Removes Judicial Dick From Obamacare’s Ear…
  why we can't have nice things

DC Appeals Court F*cks Obamacare, Right In The Ear

Once in a while, the crazy wins
Congratulations, wingnuts! One of those longshot legal challenges to the Affordable Care Act finally found a sympathetic venue! The D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled today that, thanks to a technicality in the way the law is written, subsidies for insurance premiums cannot be paid to people who sign up through the federal exchange. It doesn’t quite kill Obamacare — it just throws it into chaos and sets up an inevitable Supreme Court case. Let’s take a look at this latest stinking pile of awfulness, shall we? Read more on DC Appeals Court F*cks Obamacare, Right In The Ear…
  has to be a scandal somehow

Latest Obamacare Horror Story: ACA Cuts Uninsured People In Half!

Well, it’s just like the horror stories warned: Now that Obamacare has gone into effect, all the worst fears of the critics have come to pass: the government of Iraq is in danger of falling to Islamic radicals, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is blowing up, and terrorist soccer fans are swarming across the border. Oh, and the percentage of people with no health insurance has reached the lowest point ever recorded, and in California, the number of uninsured people has been reduced by half. So yeah, pretty much a total fiasco. Read more on Latest Obamacare Horror Story: ACA Cuts Uninsured People In Half!…
  state of confusion

Nice Missouri State Senator Writes Nice Letter Telling Constituents To GTFO

We don’t expect that writing to the village idiot that happens to be your state senator is ever going to be a particularly fulfilling experience, but you don’t really expect that your duly-elected representative should suggest that your concerns would be alleviated if you would simply leave the state. That appears to be the preferred solution of Ed Emery, Missouri senator extraordinaire, who thinks that if you don’t agree with Missouri’s plan to let the uninsured basically rot in the streets, just leave already. Read more on Nice Missouri State Senator Writes Nice Letter Telling Constituents To GTFO…
  shell game

Mitch McConnell Will Keep Government Out Of Kentucky’s Exchange When He Repeals Obamacare

Let’s just not tell Mitch McConnell where he went wrong here, OK? It would be more fun that way. You see, he’s pledging that when he becomes Senate Majority Leader next year, he’s going to repeal Obamacare SO HARD. (Hey, let’s not remind him that there’s no way he could hope to override the inevitable veto, either.) But when he was asked how that would affect the 413,000 people who’ve gotten insurance through Kynect, the very popular state health exchange, McConnell Read more on Mitch McConnell Will Keep Government Out Of Kentucky’s Exchange When He Repeals Obamacare…
  six of one half dozen of a mother

Rick Santorum Wants To Socialize Your Slut Pills

We hope you’re sitting down, because we are about to agree with Rick Santorum. But only partly. (You may resume breathing now.) Santorum came up with his brilliant idea during a Q & A session while he was flogging his frothy new book, and here is that thing that he came up with: instead of mandating that contraception be covered by private health insurance, how about we just have the government pay for contraception for everyone? We could actually get behind that, especially if to sweeten the pot, we could take it a bit farther and add a single-payer health insurance system as well (it was worth a try). Read more on Rick Santorum Wants To Socialize Your Slut Pills…
  every sperm is sacred

Cardinal Dolan Explains Contraceptive Coverage No Big Deal Since Sluts Can Just Buy Rubbers At 7-11

A celibate man told a lady reporter Sunday on CBS’s Face the Nation that businesses should have the right to eliminate contraceptive coverage in their employees’ insurance, because he hears tell that you can just walk into any 7-11 and buy rubbers. Kudos to host Norah O’Donnell for having enough self-control to refrain from telling Cardinal Timothy Dolan, “That’s right, Cardinal, and they’re 20 bucks, same as downtown.” Read more on Cardinal Dolan Explains Contraceptive Coverage No Big Deal Since Sluts Can Just Buy Rubbers At 7-11…
  only suckers pay their bills

Happy Obamacare Deadline Day! PS: Rick Santorum Thinks You Are Lazy

With the open enrollment deadline for the Affordable Healthcare Act punching Americans in the face today, former senator and losing presidential contender Rick Santorum just wants to be clear that since only 6 million or so people signed up for the ACA, the program is a complete failure. On Meet the Press, Chuck Todd asked the Frothy One if he “felt vindicated” for his many attacks on Obamacare during the 2012 Republican primaries, and as it turns out, he is pretty pleased with himself: “Well, it was the issue in 2010 that caused us to have the tea party revolution,” Santorum asserted. “It was all around the issue of health care. And this election is going to be all around the issue of health care.” That’s pretty persuasive, all right! It sort of leaves out how Mitt Romney trounced Obama in the 2012 election, but it sure proves that scaring people about death panels is a good way to get them to vote in a midterm. Also, we seem to remember something about the tea party revolution being about the fake Kenyan dictator who was a socialist, too. But yes, if people were angry about it in 2010, that pretty much proves that the ACA has failed in 2014, doesn’t it? Read more on Happy Obamacare Deadline Day! PS: Rick Santorum Thinks You Are Lazy…
  tales of the government teat

Scott Brown Gets His Mouth Shut For Him By Republican Who Loves Obamacare

Scott Brown just knows that you can’t go wrong slagging on Obamacare, because it’s unaffordable and doesn’t work. This is just a given. And so maybe Brown wasn’t quite ready for the reaction he got when he was visiting with New Hampshire state Rep. Herb Richardson, and Brown said that Obamacare was a “monstrosity” that nobody read before passing it, and also executive orders and tyranny and stuff. But instead of nodding and endorsing his (exploratory) Senate bid on the spot, Richardson and his wife Rita explained that the ACA had actually saved their bacon after he was injured on the job and living on Worker’s Comp. The Coos County Democrat reports, Richardson was injured on the job and was forced to live on his workers’ comp payments for an extended period of time, which ultimately cost the couple their house on Williams Street. The couple had to pay $1,100 a month if they wanted to maintain their health insurance coverage under the federal COBRA law. Richardson said he only received some $2,000 a month in workers’ comp. payments, however, leaving little for them to live on. “Thank God for Obamacare!” his wife exclaimed. Now, thanks to the subsidy for which they qualify, the Richardsons only pay $136 a month for health insurance that covers them both. And then Scott Brown apparently replied something along the lines of “Ummmm.” Read more on Scott Brown Gets His Mouth Shut For Him By Republican Who Loves Obamacare…
  thanks obama!

Obamacare Reducing Ranks Of Unininsured Already, Probably By Murdering Them

In a result that no one could possibly have predicted, it appears that with three weeks left during the open-enrollment period, Obamacare has already resulted in a reduction in the percentage of Americans who lack health insurance. The Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, released Monday, found that 15.9 percent of U.S. adults are uninsured thus far in 2014, down from 17.1 percent for the last three months — or calendar quarter — of 2013. That translates roughly to 3 million to 4 million people getting coverage. Gallup said the share of Americans who lack coverage is on track to drop to the lowest quarterly level it measured since 2008, before Obama took office. We’re pretty sure that this is a terrible thing somehow, and it’s just a matter of time before the usual crowd explains why. Maybe the death panels are killing these people off! Read more on Obamacare Reducing Ranks Of Unininsured Already, Probably By Murdering Them…