Tag Archives: health care

  Waste millions with this one neat trick

I Am Mad About A Thing: Federal Money To Tell Kids To Shut Their Legs For Jesus

You know what is a terrific way to waste millions of dollars? Teaching kids that the only thing they need to know about sex is to just not do that. If you’re looking to invest money in something proven to be utterly ineffective, and in fact harmful, abstinence-only education is the thing for you. Read more on I Am Mad About A Thing: Federal Money To Tell Kids To Shut Their Legs For Jesus…
  vets gone to the dogs

Sarah Palin Pretty Sure V.A. Hospitals Death Panel The Troops While Illegal Aliens Get Golden Bedpans

Sarah Palin has given a lot of thought to this scandal at the Veterans Administration, and she has determined, with some help from Sean Hannity, that the best way to describe the V.A. hospital system is with a lie that she made up in 2009. At the “Republican Leadership Conference” in New Orleans Thursday, Hannity asked Palin, “Is the VA a death panel for many?” The audience roared its agreement, so you know it was a good question. You will never ever guess what Sister Sarah said to that! Do you think maybe she agreed? Let’s see what she said! Read more on Sarah Palin Pretty Sure V.A. Hospitals Death Panel The Troops While Illegal Aliens Get Golden Bedpans…
  department of what could go wrong?

This New Doctor App Is Gonna Disrupt Your Medical Care So Hard

Now, we’re not defending the current American healthcare system, because nightmare, but we’re not sure that it will be solved by Grand Rounds, an app that you wave around at the ER doctors, demanding that they listen to the person FaceTiming in to meddle in your medical emergency, but that is probably because we just can’t handle the level of cool synergized disruption that such an app would bring us. Read more on This New Doctor App Is Gonna Disrupt Your Medical Care So Hard…
  double downer

Obamacare Victim Standing By Her Astroturf Men In War Against Affordable Insurance, Facts

Remember that Michigan lady with leukemia, Julie Boonstra, who couldn’t afford her Obamacare insurance because it cost $500 less per month than her old plan that Obama personally death paneled? The one in the Americans for Plutocracy Prosperity ad? The one that Harry Reid spit on when she returned home from Vietnam? Well, you probably thought that after the Washington Post’s Glenn Kessler found her story to be somewhat reality-challenged, that she was licked. Well, she’s NOT licked, and she’s going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause, even if teh Internetz gets filled with lies like these here not-lies. Boonstra is continuing to dance on the Koch brothers’ strings stick it to The Man, with a NEW AFP video that Fights Back against the Chicago-style thug tactics of Rep. Gary Peters, who is running for Senate in Michigan in the little spare time he has left over from breaking the kneecaps of local TV station owners. This hard-hitting (Oscar bait?) film shows a lone, brave woman, attended only by an entourage of paid lobbyists with professional video equipment, marching right up to the door of Peters’ lair and leaving a letter shoved in the door handle. BOOM! Ya burnt, yo! Boonstra then vows not to be silenced, which we would be a little more worried about if “silenced” didn’t mean “discouraged from running provably false political ads on broadcast teevee.” Mainly, we had questions, like why didn’t she call ahead to see if Peters was home, or just e-mail him like a normal person? Or buy a stamp, for crissake; the Postal Service is BEGGING you. Read more on Obamacare Victim Standing By Her Astroturf Men In War Against Affordable Insurance, Facts…
  please do not stimulate the turtle

Surprise, Mitch McConnell Taking Credit For Jobs Created By Stimulus He Hates

Not that anyone will be knocked over with this particular feather, but let’s give a little cheer to Mitch McConnell for this bit of chootspah: “Five years later, the stimulus is no success to celebrate,” said the embattled Republican to the Associated Press, “It is a tragedy to lament.”* Of course, that tragic spending halted and reversed the economy’s slide toward another Great Depression, but since it didn’t immediately result in everyone getting rich, that detail can be ignored and we can write a nice obituary for Keynesian economics, and while we’re at it maybe elect Mitt Romney because he would have let GM go bankrupt. Heck, maybe he could still do it, yay! Also, too, Obamacare is a very bad thing because the government has no business interfering in your healthcare, except maybe when Mitch McConnell wants to run an ad calling attention to a helpful government health program he helped pass in the ’90s, because it helps people. Read more on Surprise, Mitch McConnell Taking Credit For Jobs Created By Stimulus He Hates…
  reducing the surplus population

Charlie Crist Wants To Know Why Rick Scott Is Sucking The Blood From All Those Poors

Former Florida Governor Charlie Crist would like to get that job back, please, and now that he is no longer a RINO and has gone Full Democrat, he is serious about sounding like it. Which is why he is accusing current Gov. Rick Voldemort of putting the Dark Mark on Florida’s Poors, by not expanding Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act. In an interview on MSNBC Friday, Crist told Chuck Todd, “About a million of my fellow Floridians are not getting health care today, and I am told by friends SEIU [sic], that means six people in Florida die every day as a result of that. Every day.” We are going to assume that the [sic] there indicates he meant to say “my friends at SEIU,” though it would maybe be cool if the Quakers were unionizing. Yr Wonkette wouldn’t usually stand up for the likes of Rick Scott, but we just want to point out that he actually does have a healthcare initiative for poor people — he gives them drug tests. Read more on Charlie Crist Wants To Know Why Rick Scott Is Sucking The Blood From All Those Poors…
  sun rises. gop lies about obamacare. sun sets.

Cathy McMorris Rodgers Is A Horrible Lying Assclown

So, y’all remember that vagina’d monologue from the lady who gave the official, not-in-Spanish GOP response to Dictator Obama’s State of the Union speechy thingy? Yeah, the one who seemed all sweet and stuff, until you listened to her words, which were fluff and boring, and apparently full of lies. Because when you are addressing the entire nation after the President, who would have ever thought that the media would maybe, possibly, look into the words that came forth from your mouthhole and check them against reality? Not every media outlet treats the GOP like Fox News. During Cathy McMorris Rodgers response, she mentioned “Bette from Spokane,” who was kicked off her health insurance and was facing a “nearly $700 per month” increase in her premiums, #ThanksObama. This was to illustrate how bad the law was, and how all Americans everywhere were suffering because Obamacare is THE WORST. And there is no way that the media (thanks, Spokesman-Review) would find this “Bette,” and certainly no way that there would be cheaper options for “Bette” that the Congresswoman neglected to mention, because who would be so utterly incompetent as to tell a bald-faced LIE on national television that could be tracked down merely days later? It turns out that Cathy McMorris Rodgers, and her staff, are, indeed, that incompetent. Or just liars. Probably both.  Read more on Cathy McMorris Rodgers Is A Horrible Lying Assclown…
  It just might work this time!

John McCain Has Mavericky New Plan To Repeal Obamacare And Replace It With Old McCain Plan No One Wanted

How is Sen. John McCain still being bitter about that time President Obama kicked his pasty white endangering-the-future-of-America-by-choosing-to-have-Sarah-Palin-be-one-old-as-fuck-cancerous-heartbeat-away-from-the-White-House ass today? No, it is not threatening to impeach the president right in the face; that was back in September, when McCain was all grrrrrrrrrrr at Obama for thinking about maybe giving him that war on Syria he’d always wanted. Nope, today Johnny boy has a brand new mavericky plan — because McCain is a maverick, in case you hadn’t heard — that has never been tried before except for all of the times it has been tried before: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said Wednesday that he would introduce a bill to repeal Obamacare and replace it with his own set of reforms. […] The central tenet, tax credits for purchasing health coverage, was also included in McCain’s 2008 presidential platform. So, erm, uh, awkward. Not only have Republicans tried to repeal Obamacare ALL the times, but Republicans named John McCain even offered this alternative to Obamacare already back in 2008, and … wait, how did that end up again? Oh yeah. America said thanks but no thanks. But obviously that didn’t count. If only there were some sort of mechanism whereby the American people could decide if they prefer Obama or McCain to reform our health care system … something else, we mean, besides the mechanism whereby American people already decided that. Read more on John McCain Has Mavericky New Plan To Repeal Obamacare And Replace It With Old McCain Plan No One Wanted…
  Opt-in To Jesuscare

Christian ‘Insurance’ Company Will Not Cover Your ‘Un-Biblical Lifestyles,’ Like Having Boobs

Are you one of those idiots who wants to opt-out of health insurance because that will really show mean ol’ Obama he can’t stop you from freedom drowning in a freedom sea of freedom medical debt because freedom? (Put your hand down, Rep. Louie Gohmert, we already know you are A Idiot.) Well, here is an awesome health insurance plan — that is NOT a health insurance plan, says the president of the health insurance plan — for just those kinds of idiots: “It isn’t insurance; it’s a nationwide network of Christians who save money by sharing each other’s medical bills. We get to pick our own doctors, and our share is almost 40 percent less than our old premium. … Medi-Share is a health-sharing ministry, which makes it exempt from the health reform laws.” And just what kind of un-freedomy health reform laws does Medi-Share exempt itself from? The coverage doesn’t include products of “un-Biblical lifestyles,” such as contraception or substance rehab, or some preventive medicine, including colonoscopies and annual mammograms. Those policies lead to lower costs for all members, Meggs said. Well, sure, of course eliminating basic coverage of un-Biblical things like boobies and butts would lead to lower costs. It’s brilliant, really. Only sinners who do not follow the Bible need mammograms anyway, right? If you’re living the clean Biblical life, no worries! Plus, refusing to cover people with pre-existing conditions really cuts down on the cost. Now that you are dying to know how you can get in on this sweet, sweet non-coverage coverage, it’s super simple. Read more on Christian ‘Insurance’ Company Will Not Cover Your ‘Un-Biblical Lifestyles,’ Like Having Boobs…
  Do you like movies about gladiators getting health care?

Republican Says It’s ‘Immoral’ To Give Health Care To Gays Because Then They Use It Like A Bunch of Gays Using Health Care

Don’t you just hate when The Gays try to use health care like they’re some kind of people who need health care? Michigan’s former state Rep. Dave Agema sure does. Who is this blowhole? Oh, just a derpsman for the Republican National Committee and also a former pilot, which makes him an automatic The Gays expert somehow because of Stuff He Saw when he was piloting or something, we don’t know how exactly but shut up, that’s not the point, he just knows, okay? Damn those sneaky gays, with their wanting gay wedding cakes (or, as some of us call them, wedding cakes) and their gay marriage (i.e., marriage) and gay health care (aka health care). “Folks, they (gay people) want free medical because they’re dying (when they’re) between 30 and 44 years old,” he said. “To me, it’s a moral issue. It’s a Biblical issue. Traditional marriage is where it should be and it’s in our platform. Those in our party who oppose traditional marriage are wrong.” “I stand for traditional marriage, no homosexual ones,” he told the group. “The family unit is the basic unit in society. When you tear the family apart, you tear the country apart.” Yeah, it’s a real undermining of the sanctity of profiting off the sick and dying when gays can just go around wanting free medical care. You know who else does that? Oh, everyone, even the non-gay everyones. But, see, it is against the Bible and traditional marriage when the gays want health care because Jesus said … oh, nuts, there we go again, not finding the part of the Bible where Jesus said do not give health care to the gays because they are gay, ew gross, icky. Read more on Republican Says It’s ‘Immoral’ To Give Health Care To Gays Because Then They Use It Like A Bunch of Gays Using Health Care…
  Boehner being Boehner because Boehner

John Boehner Hates Free Enterprise Private Insurance, Thinks It Is Mean

Oh, Speaker John Boehner, you historically lazy sack of unnaturally orange suck. Even though you are in charge of the House of Representatives (sort of; let’s face it, everyone knows the teabaggers rule your world), you still haven’t found the time to edumacate yourself on how that whole Obamacare thingy actually works: “When you look at Obamacare which is a government-centered health care delivery system, that’s not what the American people want,” he said. “The American people want to be able to pick their own type of health insurance. They want to be able to pick their own doctor. They want to be able to pick their own hospital. That’s what a patient-centered system looks like.” Funny, because when we went to the SocialistObamaHitlerCare.gov website, we saw many plans offered by Anthem, Kaiser and Blue Cross — but none offered by The Government. And a lot of those plans said you can go to any doctor you want, as long as said doctor is in that plan’s network, which is, hey!, exactly how insurance worked before Obama usurped the government. But maybe we were looking at the wrong thing and should have gone to the Republicans’ fake Obamacare site instead? Funnier still, because you also signed up to be a ‘bortion-lovin’ slut pill-poppin’ death-panelin’ socialist — after bemoaning the impossibility of signing up and also putting the person who was trying to help you on hold for 35 minutes because that’s the kind of dick you are — and, we are guessing, you also saw a number of plans offered by private insurance companies what are not actually The Government. Read more on John Boehner Hates Free Enterprise Private Insurance, Thinks It Is Mean…
  Nice time for orange man

John Boehner Embraces Kenyan Socialism, Signs Up For Free Government Handouts Of Birth Control

Congratulations, Mr. Weeper of the House John Boehner! No, not because you finally impeached Obamacare (because that is not actually something that will happen even though you have tried it eleventeen point four times). No, not because you finally got those wacky teabaggers to shut the hell up and stop hostaging America and let you kind of sort of do your part-time job. (Again because that is not actually something that will happen.) But it is because we read a bloggy thing on the interwebs, probably written by some layabout do-nothing from his mother’s basement, about how signing up for that sweet sweet government O’Hitlercare is awful darned hard — especially when you put the DC Health Exchange representative trying to help your whiny orange butt on hold for 35 minutes like some kind of dick (spoiler: you are some kind of dick) — but you overcame and persevered and other verbs of courage and dedication, and voila! You are now all signed up to get taken off to the Obama Indoctrination FEMA Socialism camps. You can get all the mental health care you obviously need, plus tanning bed-induced skin cancer treatments, plus those slutty slutty slutpills what undermine our freedoms. Hooray for you, Johnny boy, you are now part of the problem! And according to Salon’s Brian Beutler, who apparently had way too much time on his hands Thursday night, you’re even probably getting a pretty good deal for an old smoking man. Read more on John Boehner Embraces Kenyan Socialism, Signs Up For Free Government Handouts Of Birth Control…
  Affordable Care Act 1 Scene 1

Wonkette Special Investigative Report: The Lost Republican Obamacare Ads

You already know about the hilarious and timely GOP videos parodying Apple’s Mac vs. PC ads that are timely and also hilarious! But what you don’t know is that the ads on the Republican National Committee’s website aren’t the only scripts that were written. Our Wonkette Special Investigative Team has uncovered the lost, unproduced scripts that the RNC didn’t want you to see. Read more on Wonkette Special Investigative Report: The Lost Republican Obamacare Ads…
  not the philadelphia story we prefer

Government Cuts Won’t Hurt Anyone, Except Maybe When A 12-Year-Old Dies Because Her School Had No Nurse

Before you read this story, you may want to make sure you secure any heavy objects nearby, so that you won’t hurl them through your computer monitor. From the Philadelphia City Paper, just one more example of what happens when you make government small enough to drown in a bathtub: Children will die. Sixth-grader Laporshia Massey died from asthma complications, according to her father, who says he rushed her to the emergency room soon after she got home from school on the afternoon of Sept. 25. He says Laporshia had begun to feel ill earlier that day at Bryant Elementary School, where a nurse is on staff only two days a week. This day was not one of those days. Daniel Burch, Laporshia’s father, is angry and wants to know whether Philadelphia’s resource-starved school district failed to save his daughter’s life. The Pennsylvania state legislature has declared war on funding for Philadelphia’s schools, and Laporshia Massey is just part of the collateral damage. Read more on Government Cuts Won’t Hurt Anyone, Except Maybe When A 12-Year-Old Dies Because Her School Had No Nurse…
  Sore losers gonna be sore

Obama Reminds Republican Losers They Are The Losingest Losers Who Lost Like Losers

Commemorating the fifth anniversary of the fundamentals of our economy being strong (you know, except to everyone who was not John McCain and was all, like, Holy crisis, Batman, we are in economic meltdown!), President Obama spoke words on stuff, including that pesky Obamacare thingymabob that he probably will just defund his own self anyway, so why even bother talking about it, including this protip to Republicans: you guys are losers. “It passed both houses of Congress. The Supreme Court ruled it constitutional. It was an issue in last year’s election and the candidate who called for repeal lost,” he said to applause. “Republicans in the House have tried to repeal or sabotage it about 40 times. They’ve failed every time.” Oh, presidential SNAP! Read more on Obama Reminds Republican Losers They Are The Losingest Losers Who Lost Like Losers…
  We can haz socialist health care

Sorry, Republicans, But Socialist Jobs-Killing Just-Like-The-Holocaust Obamacare To Be Cheaper And Better Than Predicted

Oh GAWD, nooooooooooo! Disaster! Catastrophe! Other words that mean bad stuff! This is terrible news: A leading health policy research organization reported “lower than expected” premiums for ObamaCare’s new insurance exchanges in a major study released Thursday. […] “Fifteen of the eighteen rating areas we examined have premiums below this level, suggesting that the cost of coverage for consumers and the federal budgetary cost for tax credits will be lower than anticipated.” No, wait a sec, that is AWESOME news! Unless you are a Republican, of course, and your entire raison d’être freedom reason is trying to repeal — and repeal and repeal and repeal and repeal — Obamacare before everyone finds out how lower premiums and fewer restrictions are, like, a good thing. Just how good? Soooooooo all kinds of good: Read more on Sorry, Republicans, But Socialist Jobs-Killing Just-Like-The-Holocaust Obamacare To Be Cheaper And Better Than Predicted…
  Real Americans just let you die

Heritage Foundation Czar Jim DeMint Says Majority Of Americans Are Socialist Un-Americans For Liking Socialist Un-American Healthcare

Have you heard the one about how health care reform is the worst thing that ever happened to America (besides the gays, the feminists, the black dude in the White House, and birth control, obviously), and it is socialism and just like Hitler and will ruin freedom for everyone? OF COURSE YOU HAVE because it’s pretty much all Republicans have been saying for the last several years, and Jesus Harold Christ on a cruise ship are we sick of that shit. But as we get ever closer to the opening of those sweet, sweet government health care exchanges (aka The Day That Is Going To Live In Infamy Like a Mofo), we can pretty much count on Republicans to try even more harder to convince us that we should REPEAL! and IMPEACH! and DEFUND! and REPEAL SOME MORE! and, failing all that, just be deeply ashamed of ourselves for being excited about slightly lower health insurance premiums, even if that IS a direct route to socialist armageddon. Read more on Heritage Foundation Czar Jim DeMint Says Majority Of Americans Are Socialist Un-Americans For Liking Socialist Un-American Healthcare…
  its a gas gas gas

Syria: Come For The Bloody Civil War, Stay For The Sarin Gas

If you’re done whining about High Overlord Fidel Hitler Obama shoving health care down your throat, let’s take a wee peek outside the United States and explore the lives of people. In some countries, instead of raining down health care, leaders are shelling their own populations with chemical weapons. Per the Washington Post: Horrific photos and videos from Syria on Wednesday showed scores of bodies, including many children, lined up in field hospitals and morgues in the eastern suburbs of Damascus. Opposition spokesmen said they were evidence of a massive chemical weapons attack by the regime of Bashar al-Assad. Hundreds were reported killed, and medical personnel at the scene described symptoms consistent with the use of deadly nerve agents: constricted pupils, foam around the mouth and breathing difficulties. At least they are having breathing difficulties and foaming mouths without the threat of forced health care. Three cheers for freedom, yo!  Read more on Syria: Come For The Bloody Civil War, Stay For The Sarin Gas…
  Yeah that might happen and pigs might fly out of our ... you know

Obama Just Might Defund Obamacare Like GOP Wants, Says Insane GOPer Jim DeMint

You know how Republicans are so super for sure that if they keep voting to repeal Obamacare, it will work one of these days? Not the first time, sure, or the second time, or the third or fourth or fortieth, but eventually. Eleventeen might be the lucky number. WE DON’T KNOW. Read more on Obama Just Might Defund Obamacare Like GOP Wants, Says Insane GOPer Jim DeMint…
  freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose

Sorry, New Jersey Man, You Forgot To Pay Your Insurance Carrier’s 26 Cents, Please Go Die

Once upon a time, there was a nice man named Sergio Branco who lived in New Jersey with his wife and kids, working for a waste management company called Russell Reid on weekdays and hosting large barbeques for his family and friends on the weekends. Then one day, Russell Reid did not feel so well, and after taking three months off work (as sanctioned by the Family Medical Leave Act) to seek medical treatment, he learned that he was suffering from acute myeloid leukemia, which would kill him if he didn’t get a bone marrow transplant. Sergio was sad that he had leukemia but happy on the other hand that he had medical insurance through his job, until the three months of the FMLA was over and his job fired him. But that was STILL not so bad because he could at least take advantage of COBRA, or so he thought: Branco was fired on April 30, so he had until June 30 to decide whether or not he wanted COBRA. After that, the payments would be due…and payments were not due until July… The cost would be $518.26 per month. So on or about May 24, [Sergio’s wife Mara] Branco filled out the paperwork and mailed a check to Paychex for the first month of coverage. She wrote the check, dated May 24, for an even $518, inadvertently missing the 26 cents. Paychex cashed the check on June 11. …And then a couple weeks later, give or take, the hospital said that they may not be able to give any more treatment because Sergio did not have insurance coverage. And then Sergio’s wife entered a Kafka-esque nightmare wherein she tried, oh how she tried, to give Paychex the 26 cents that she owed them, and Paychex refused to take it because Russell Reid (Sergio’s old employer) had told them not to, and Russell Reid claimed that they weren’t sure what exactly what was going on and promised to look into it but never did, and on July 2 Paychex sent them a letter telling them they had no health insurance coverage and returned the $518 check. Read more on Sorry, New Jersey Man, You Forgot To Pay Your Insurance Carrier’s 26 Cents, Please Go Die…
  nice time!

Friday Nice Time: In Brazil, New Pope Calls For Rich To Stop Being Dicks To Poors

New Pope is making us happy again, Wonkeroos. He’s on a trip to Brazil where he is doing awesome New Popey things like riding in an open-air vehicle to be closer to the people, and actually walking into people’s homes to give them high-fives and stuff. The guy is goddam fucking just plain awesome.* And what makes our librul bleeding hearts become moar bleedier is when he says stuff like this, from WaPo: In his remarks in Varginha [Brazil], the pope criticized the “culture of selfishness and individualism,” spoke of how the wealthy need to do more to end social injustice and told residents to “never yield to discouragement” because of corruption. Ah, yes – calling on the wealthy to do more to end social injustice. As citizens of the wealthiest country on earth, we are super-excited to see what U.S. politicians and Catholic Churches do in the wake of this kind of conversation!  Read more on Friday Nice Time: In Brazil, New Pope Calls For Rich To Stop Being Dicks To Poors…