Hey everyone Jonah Goldberg thinks that ladies get pregnant through their knees. This is the only possibly explanation. [via Instaputz]

Here is this new television advertisement from the League of American Voters. Exposition of plot: Only a bureaucrat with a characteristically Big Government binder would tell such a cute hipster she has to send her money to uncool dying Olds instead of spending her paycheck at rock n’ roll performances and blue v-neck t-shirt sales. Also: evidence suggests that no political organization is aware that there have been any successful advertisements other than the “Justin Long model.” [Ben Smith]

TOP THIS. [Washington Independent]

Anh “Joseph” Cao was the one Republican to vote for health care reform tonight. Teabaggers are cool with that, though, no problem, guy just has a heavily Democratic constituency. [Twitter search "cao"]

Oh, some bill passed. A resolution to honor the… let’s see… oh wait jesus they passed a HEALTH CARE REFORM BILL? This will have some sort of effect on the 2010 elections, the pundits are saying. Wow. Give it up to Nancy Pelosi with the whippage, you guys. She’s passed two enormous, signature bills (this and energy) with a caucus that includes two polar opposite blocs, either of which could kill a bill if it wanted to, and both of which are constantly threatening to do that exact thing. And now health care, like energy, will go to the Senate and somehow emerge as a cap gains tax cut. Hooray! [NYT]

GOP Super-Star Rep. Mike Pence recently delivered the most comical speech of the day, for five minutes. It took him wayyyyy too long to post it on his own YouTube channel, but ta-da! He challenged the Blue Dogs to fight for freedom, and the troops, and also Ronald Reagan and liberty. No one has ever pretended to be so serious. Oh man. Gets better towards the end, too. [YouTube]

Now that the House is debating the Republican health care alternative, the sweeping “BonerCare” of ancient lore, it’s a good opportunity to share this amazing (and ominous — mostly ominous!) photograph from commenter “mollymcguire,” who actually lives in the Northern Marianas, as a sex slave who is currently getting railed by Tom DeLay or whatever in the back of this Jeep with the Truck Nutz. After BonerCare passes both the House and Senate 535-0 — as expected within the next few minutes — the streets of Saipan shall be rife with Truck Nutz.

There is no reason, ever, to invite racist ex-Congressman failure Tom Tancredo onto any television show, or at least the political ones. So thank you Tom Tancredo for graciously acknowledging your unimportance and leaving the set mid-interview! MORE »

Now now, liberals, you can no longer smugly declare in political arguments, “the Republicans don’t even have a health care plan,” because they do! John Boehner released the GOP alternative plan a few days ago, and the CBO scored it, to much fanfare. It is but a modest (Very Responsible Centrist) plan to save America from the Muslims. One of its central tenets — and the health care thing you’ve been hearing Republicans blab on about most, after they’ve exhausted tort reform — is to allow consumers to purchase health care plans across state lines. Doesn’t that sound nice, for competition and pricing? But what if… what if many of the health insurers then set up shop in the “state” of the Northern Marianas, where there is not a single law against anything? MORE »

So here’s this new affecting radio spot from the American Future Fund, in which Nancy Pelosi is a pirate, right?, because her last name begins with “P”. No, wait. Nancy Pelosi is like the Speaker of the House pirate who is forcing all the other Congress pirates to walk the plank, even though they’re her own crew members. It’s like actual pirates do, yeah? [YouTube]

Joe Lieberman’s above-ground slime cave was not the only office that was invaded and briefly colonized yesterday: 12 anti-abortion people were arrested outside some suite that belonged to Nancy Pelosi and were charged with all kinds of distinctions within the disorderly conduct family. The AP does not want to assume these people were associated with the tea bag people—”the speaker’s staff said those arrested were objecting to language in the health care overhaul that they said would allow federally subsidized abortions”—but it’s definitely safe to just go ahead and assume that they absolutely were. [AP]