Tag Archives: health care

  Your morning cup of wut?

Bernie Sanders Says Shut Up, Pat Robertson Calls For Revolution (Again), And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Sorry, Virginia
We have good news and bad news. The good news is that it’s almost Friday. The bad news is that it’s not Friday yet. Here, have some news to make you laugh, cry, or just go back to bed. Read more on Bernie Sanders Says Shut Up, Pat Robertson Calls For Revolution (Again), And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  I Am Mad About A Thing

I Take Birth Control Because I’m A Slutty Slut Who Sluts So Hard. You?

Okay, so, birth control. It’s this, like, medication-type thing, right? Like Advil for your aches and pains. Or aspirin so you don’t stroke out or have a heart attack. Or Flintstones vitamins so you grow up big and strong enough to turn a dinosaur into a car. Or Viagra so when you and your bros jet off to the Dominican Republic to bang some prostitutes, your floppy flaccid dick actually gets hard, but of course you have the prescription filled in someone else’s name because HELLO, when it comes to sex pills, you are all, like, I want “to PROTECT MY PRIVACY, given the potential embarrassing nature of Viagra.” Understandable, of course, because when you’re popping sex pills, it’s sort of no one’s business, right, RUSH LIMBAUGH? (Yes, that was an actual quote from the actual Rush Limbaugh. Feel free to mock that FOREVER.) Anyway, birth control is pretty much like that. It is a medication type thing that some women (basically all women, like 99 percent of them) use in a medication type way for medical type reasons, such as, for example, endometriosis, which is extremely painful and can be treated with birth control. Such as also for example not wanting to grow a baby inside your body, which can be avoided with birth control. Such as also too for example you are getting married and then going on a fabulous two-week honeymoon to a five-star hotel on the beach, and you do NOT want to be a crampy, bloody, bloated bridezilla, so you’d like to skip it altogether please, which is possible with birth control. Stuff like that. How. EVER. Read more on I Take Birth Control Because I’m A Slutty Slut Who Sluts So Hard. You?…
  I Am Mad About A Thing

Wingnut Nurse Sues Family Planning Center For Not Giving Her Job Just Because She Says She Won’t Do Job

Let’s play a game. It is sort of a choose-your-own-adventure make-believe game. Costumes optional. You are about to graduate from Thing-Doing School and apply for a job as a professional Thing-Doer, as one does after attending Thing-Doing School. You inform your potential employer that you are interested in the Thing-Doing job but will be unable to perform Thing-Doing duties because of your religious beliefs. Your potential employer tells you, “LOL, that’s hilarious, but we are actually looking for a real Thing-Doer who is willing to perform Thing-Doing duties, because that is the job. Thanks but no thanks.” Do you: A) Say, “Well, that is a very good point, I understand why you would want to hire a Thing-Doer who is capable and willing to Thing-Do, I shall now re-examine my goal of being a Thing-Doer but not actually Thing-Doing”? (Turn to page 132 and pat yourself on the back because that is a very smart answer.) B) Get yourself some fancy lawyers and sue the unholy bejesus out of the no-longer potential employer because your unwillingness to perform Thing-Doing duties should not disqualify you from being hired as a Thing-Doer? (Turn to page 666 and die in a fire.) C) Laugh and roll your eyes because that is SO RIDICULOUS it cannot even be real, what kind of moron would apply for a job that requires doing things to which said moron objects because JESUS? (Throw the book away and write a bad review on Amazon because this book sucks.) If you chose “C,” I don’t blame you because in a just world, that would be the correct and only option, but sorry, you lose because this IS real, and there IS such a moron who would do such a thing, and her name is Sara Hellwege and yes, she is suing SO hard. If you haven’t already choked on your own vomit by now, keep reading. Read more on Wingnut Nurse Sues Family Planning Center For Not Giving Her Job Just Because She Says She Won’t Do Job…
  sorry not sorry

I Am Mad About A Thing: Hooray, Todd Akin Has A ‘Book’

Ugh, Todd Akin, right? You remember Todd Akin, of course. He was a Republican representative from Missouri who just might have become a senator from Missouri if he had not made the catastrophic mistake, as Republicans are wont to do, of opening his mouth and saying words. And you remember those words because we all do, because they are tattooed on our brains, and we cannot bleach them away no matter how hard we try: Read more on I Am Mad About A Thing: Hooray, Todd Akin Has A ‘Book’…
  u mad?

I Am Mad About A Thing: Go Big For The Ladies, Democrats, Or GTFO

I’m probably not supposed to say this. I should be a Good Democrat and a Good Feminist and take the latest symbolic crumbs Senate Democrats are offering and say, “Thank you, sir.” (They are mostly sir, of course, which is part of ALL the problems, but let’s not even get into that right now.) Read more on I Am Mad About A Thing: Go Big For The Ladies, Democrats, Or GTFO…
  Swoooooooooooon

A Love Letter To My New Gynecologist Who Is THE BEST

Dear my new gynecologist who is THE BEST, I never thought this could happen to me. I never thought I’d be one of those women who so enjoyed her strip-and-spread-’em annual exam that I’d actually feel sad about waiting a whole year to see you again. I’ve been hurt before, you see. My last gynecologist was THE WORST, and even if she had not retired this year, I’d rather stab myself repeatedly with a cold speculum than ever see her again. Read more on A Love Letter To My New Gynecologist Who Is THE BEST…
  Waste millions with this one neat trick

I Am Mad About A Thing: Federal Money To Tell Kids To Shut Their Legs For Jesus

You know what is a terrific way to waste millions of dollars? Teaching kids that the only thing they need to know about sex is to just not do that. If you’re looking to invest money in something proven to be utterly ineffective, and in fact harmful, abstinence-only education is the thing for you. Read more on I Am Mad About A Thing: Federal Money To Tell Kids To Shut Their Legs For Jesus…
  vets gone to the dogs

Sarah Palin Pretty Sure V.A. Hospitals Death Panel The Troops While Illegal Aliens Get Golden Bedpans

Sarah Palin has given a lot of thought to this scandal at the Veterans Administration, and she has determined, with some help from Sean Hannity, that the best way to describe the V.A. hospital system is with a lie that she made up in 2009. At the “Republican Leadership Conference” in New Orleans Thursday, Hannity asked Palin, “Is the VA a death panel for many?” The audience roared its agreement, so you know it was a good question. You will never ever guess what Sister Sarah said to that! Do you think maybe she agreed? Let’s see what she said! Read more on Sarah Palin Pretty Sure V.A. Hospitals Death Panel The Troops While Illegal Aliens Get Golden Bedpans…
  department of what could go wrong?

This New Doctor App Is Gonna Disrupt Your Medical Care So Hard

Now, we’re not defending the current American healthcare system, because nightmare, but we’re not sure that it will be solved by Grand Rounds, an app that you wave around at the ER doctors, demanding that they listen to the person FaceTiming in to meddle in your medical emergency, but that is probably because we just can’t handle the level of cool synergized disruption that such an app would bring us. Read more on This New Doctor App Is Gonna Disrupt Your Medical Care So Hard…
  double downer

Obamacare Victim Standing By Her Astroturf Men In War Against Affordable Insurance, Facts

Remember that Michigan lady with leukemia, Julie Boonstra, who couldn’t afford her Obamacare insurance because it cost $500 less per month than her old plan that Obama personally death paneled? The one in the Americans for Plutocracy Prosperity ad? The one that Harry Reid spit on when she returned home from Vietnam? Well, you probably thought that after the Washington Post’s Glenn Kessler found her story to be somewhat reality-challenged, that she was licked. Well, she’s NOT licked, and she’s going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause, even if teh Internetz gets filled with lies like these here not-lies. Boonstra is continuing to dance on the Koch brothers’ strings stick it to The Man, with a NEW AFP video that Fights Back against the Chicago-style thug tactics of Rep. Gary Peters, who is running for Senate in Michigan in the little spare time he has left over from breaking the kneecaps of local TV station owners. This hard-hitting (Oscar bait?) film shows a lone, brave woman, attended only by an entourage of paid lobbyists with professional video equipment, marching right up to the door of Peters’ lair and leaving a letter shoved in the door handle. BOOM! Ya burnt, yo! Boonstra then vows not to be silenced, which we would be a little more worried about if “silenced” didn’t mean “discouraged from running provably false political ads on broadcast teevee.” Mainly, we had questions, like why didn’t she call ahead to see if Peters was home, or just e-mail him like a normal person? Or buy a stamp, for crissake; the Postal Service is BEGGING you. Read more on Obamacare Victim Standing By Her Astroturf Men In War Against Affordable Insurance, Facts…
  please do not stimulate the turtle

Surprise, Mitch McConnell Taking Credit For Jobs Created By Stimulus He Hates

Not that anyone will be knocked over with this particular feather, but let’s give a little cheer to Mitch McConnell for this bit of chootspah: “Five years later, the stimulus is no success to celebrate,” said the embattled Republican to the Associated Press, “It is a tragedy to lament.”* Of course, that tragic spending halted and reversed the economy’s slide toward another Great Depression, but since it didn’t immediately result in everyone getting rich, that detail can be ignored and we can write a nice obituary for Keynesian economics, and while we’re at it maybe elect Mitt Romney because he would have let GM go bankrupt. Heck, maybe he could still do it, yay! Also, too, Obamacare is a very bad thing because the government has no business interfering in your healthcare, except maybe when Mitch McConnell wants to run an ad calling attention to a helpful government health program he helped pass in the ’90s, because it helps people. Read more on Surprise, Mitch McConnell Taking Credit For Jobs Created By Stimulus He Hates…
  reducing the surplus population

Charlie Crist Wants To Know Why Rick Scott Is Sucking The Blood From All Those Poors

Former Florida Governor Charlie Crist would like to get that job back, please, and now that he is no longer a RINO and has gone Full Democrat, he is serious about sounding like it. Which is why he is accusing current Gov. Rick Voldemort of putting the Dark Mark on Florida’s Poors, by not expanding Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act. In an interview on MSNBC Friday, Crist told Chuck Todd, “About a million of my fellow Floridians are not getting health care today, and I am told by friends SEIU [sic], that means six people in Florida die every day as a result of that. Every day.” We are going to assume that the [sic] there indicates he meant to say “my friends at SEIU,” though it would maybe be cool if the Quakers were unionizing. Yr Wonkette wouldn’t usually stand up for the likes of Rick Scott, but we just want to point out that he actually does have a healthcare initiative for poor people — he gives them drug tests. Read more on Charlie Crist Wants To Know Why Rick Scott Is Sucking The Blood From All Those Poors…
  sun rises. gop lies about obamacare. sun sets.

Cathy McMorris Rodgers Is A Horrible Lying Assclown

So, y’all remember that vagina’d monologue from the lady who gave the official, not-in-Spanish GOP response to Dictator Obama’s State of the Union speechy thingy? Yeah, the one who seemed all sweet and stuff, until you listened to her words, which were fluff and boring, and apparently full of lies. Because when you are addressing the entire nation after the President, who would have ever thought that the media would maybe, possibly, look into the words that came forth from your mouthhole and check them against reality? Not every media outlet treats the GOP like Fox News. During Cathy McMorris Rodgers response, she mentioned “Bette from Spokane,” who was kicked off her health insurance and was facing a “nearly $700 per month” increase in her premiums, #ThanksObama. This was to illustrate how bad the law was, and how all Americans everywhere were suffering because Obamacare is THE WORST. And there is no way that the media (thanks, Spokesman-Review) would find this “Bette,” and certainly no way that there would be cheaper options for “Bette” that the Congresswoman neglected to mention, because who would be so utterly incompetent as to tell a bald-faced LIE on national television that could be tracked down merely days later? It turns out that Cathy McMorris Rodgers, and her staff, are, indeed, that incompetent. Or just liars. Probably both.  Read more on Cathy McMorris Rodgers Is A Horrible Lying Assclown…
  It just might work this time!

John McCain Has Mavericky New Plan To Repeal Obamacare And Replace It With Old McCain Plan No One Wanted

How is Sen. John McCain still being bitter about that time President Obama kicked his pasty white endangering-the-future-of-America-by-choosing-to-have-Sarah-Palin-be-one-old-as-fuck-cancerous-heartbeat-away-from-the-White-House ass today? No, it is not threatening to impeach the president right in the face; that was back in September, when McCain was all grrrrrrrrrrr at Obama for thinking about maybe giving him that war on Syria he’d always wanted. Nope, today Johnny boy has a brand new mavericky plan — because McCain is a maverick, in case you hadn’t heard — that has never been tried before except for all of the times it has been tried before: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said Wednesday that he would introduce a bill to repeal Obamacare and replace it with his own set of reforms. […] The central tenet, tax credits for purchasing health coverage, was also included in McCain’s 2008 presidential platform. So, erm, uh, awkward. Not only have Republicans tried to repeal Obamacare ALL the times, but Republicans named John McCain even offered this alternative to Obamacare already back in 2008, and … wait, how did that end up again? Oh yeah. America said thanks but no thanks. But obviously that didn’t count. If only there were some sort of mechanism whereby the American people could decide if they prefer Obama or McCain to reform our health care system … something else, we mean, besides the mechanism whereby American people already decided that. Read more on John McCain Has Mavericky New Plan To Repeal Obamacare And Replace It With Old McCain Plan No One Wanted…
  Opt-in To Jesuscare

Christian ‘Insurance’ Company Will Not Cover Your ‘Un-Biblical Lifestyles,’ Like Having Boobs

Are you one of those idiots who wants to opt-out of health insurance because that will really show mean ol’ Obama he can’t stop you from freedom drowning in a freedom sea of freedom medical debt because freedom? (Put your hand down, Rep. Louie Gohmert, we already know you are A Idiot.) Well, here is an awesome health insurance plan — that is NOT a health insurance plan, says the president of the health insurance plan — for just those kinds of idiots: “It isn’t insurance; it’s a nationwide network of Christians who save money by sharing each other’s medical bills. We get to pick our own doctors, and our share is almost 40 percent less than our old premium. … Medi-Share is a health-sharing ministry, which makes it exempt from the health reform laws.” And just what kind of un-freedomy health reform laws does Medi-Share exempt itself from? The coverage doesn’t include products of “un-Biblical lifestyles,” such as contraception or substance rehab, or some preventive medicine, including colonoscopies and annual mammograms. Those policies lead to lower costs for all members, Meggs said. Well, sure, of course eliminating basic coverage of un-Biblical things like boobies and butts would lead to lower costs. It’s brilliant, really. Only sinners who do not follow the Bible need mammograms anyway, right? If you’re living the clean Biblical life, no worries! Plus, refusing to cover people with pre-existing conditions really cuts down on the cost. Now that you are dying to know how you can get in on this sweet, sweet non-coverage coverage, it’s super simple. Read more on Christian ‘Insurance’ Company Will Not Cover Your ‘Un-Biblical Lifestyles,’ Like Having Boobs…