Tag Archives: health care

  Hide Your Kids Hide Your Wife

Let’s Get Drunk On Republican Obamacare Tears, Together!

That's it, moving to Canada.
Ehrmagerd, the Surperm Curt upheard Abummacurr! This was not met on the right with universal approbation, although many Republicans were quietly breathing a sigh of relief that they won’t have to reveal that their ready-to-implement fix was really just a copy of the 1996 Houston Yellow Pages that they’d been lugging around in a briefcase. Read more on Let’s Get Drunk On Republican Obamacare Tears, Together!…
  that’s not very nice

Maine Republicans Want To Cure Infertility, Unless You Had A Disease In Your Filthy Vagina

Everyone woman should have babies except not
Some fellas in the Maine legislature think it would be nice if health insurance covered infertility treatment for ladies what want to have babies but cannot. So the state’s Republican Senate Majority Leader Garrett Mason has introduced S.P. 334, An Act To Provide Access to Infertility Treatment so infertility treatment will be more affordable. That’s sweet of him! Testifying before the Committee on Insurance and Financial Services earlier this month, Sen. Mason explained why he has introduced this bill: Read more on Maine Republicans Want To Cure Infertility, Unless You Had A Disease In Your Filthy Vagina…
  He imagines stuff too

Marco Rubio Will Replace Obamacare With Obamacare (And Tax Cuts), Can Be Preznit Nao?

He has ideas too, you know
Pity poor Marco Rubio, the other young Republican senator with a fascinating story of his family escaping Cuba — legally, like good immigrants, not those moocher scumbags who don’t fill out all the paperwork — so their son could one day grow up to imagine being president of these United States of Jesus. While Ted Cruz has officially launched his campaign — if not a fully functioning campaign website — to be an official loser in the 2016 presidential election, Rubio is thinking about it too, you know, and he’d like some attention please also! Read more on Marco Rubio Will Replace Obamacare With Obamacare (And Tax Cuts), Can Be Preznit Nao?…
  Just heal yourself with bootstraps

Arizona Wants To Help The Poors By Taking Away Their Medicaid

He's here to protect the taxpayers
Arizona’s new Republican governor, Doug Ducey, sure is in a hurry to undo all the socialism the state’s previous radical liberal Marxist Obama-lovin’ governor, Jan “Judas” Brewer, did when she was still in charge of the place. Read more on Arizona Wants To Help The Poors By Taking Away Their Medicaid…
  Pay your premiums

GOP Shockingly Silent On Awesome Obamacare Numbers, Huh!

Obamacare. It's fetch.
 The open enrollment period for getting some delicious, socialist (haha not socialist) Obamacare ended on February 15, so if you were planning to enroll and didn’t, you are out of luck, so sorry. But if you are one of the 11.4 million people who DID enroll through an ACA marketplace during the most recent enrollment period, then you will have health insurance as soon as you pay your first premium — actually, go ahead and do that right now, we’ll wait — and now you are free to go get that checkup you were putting off! Hooray! What have congressional Republicans said about the ACA since the awesome enrollment numbers were released earlier this week? Oh, absolutely nothing as of Wednesday afternoon, and shush, please don’t bother them, they are busy trying to shut down the government again. Read more on GOP Shockingly Silent On Awesome Obamacare Numbers, Huh!…
  never mind

Obamacare Fails To Ruin Another Person’s Life And Fox News Is ON IT

looking...for...unicorn
How is Obamacare ruining your life today? Fox News host Tucker Carlson thinks that he knows how Obamacare is ruining your life if you live in Colorado, let’s see if he is correct! Colorado’s health care exchange, Connect for Health Colorado, glitched out last week and cancelled the health insurance of 3,600 Coloradans who went on the state’s exchange to shop for another plan. Tucker Carlson invited perfect Fox News victim Steven Roussel, an articulate white guy, to describe the absolute horror of this bureaucratic glitch, or, as Tucker Carlson put it, “Kafka comes to Colorado!” Indeed! Tell us more, Steven Roussel: Read more on Obamacare Fails To Ruin Another Person’s Life And Fox News Is ON IT…
  there can be only one

Scott Walker Addresses People Of Iowa? New Hampshire? Wait. Wisconsin? Yeah, Wisconsin

Good evening, Des Moines!
It’s a new year, which means government executives all over the country are in the midst of self-congratulatory presentations of cherry-picked accomplishments and passive-aggressively reading lists of future demands. It’s mostly trite and zzzzzzzz but some of them are worth your attention. Well, our attention anyway. You should spend time with the people you love. Read more on Scott Walker Addresses People Of Iowa? New Hampshire? Wait. Wisconsin? Yeah, Wisconsin…
  fever dreams can come true!

Terrible Elite Westside Jerks Now Giving Mickey Mouse Measles

Good job, anti-vaxxers
Disneyland: it’s the Most Magical Place on Earth. So magical that among recent attendees, at least 19 have been diagnosed with measles, a disease much of the planet had essentially eradicated. Despite last week’s nice time about public schools’ ability to require vaccinations because we still dabble in established science, this remains the Land of the Free and you, Jack and Janie Liberty, still get to choose if you want your child to endanger public health. That’s why we lag behind 100+ countries, including Cambodia and Burundi, when it comes to vaccinating our children. Exceptional! Read more on Terrible Elite Westside Jerks Now Giving Mickey Mouse Measles…
  Politigation

With No Other Problems In Sight, GOP Will Spend 2015 Fighting Obamacare

Pic via sugarfreeglow Welcome to 2015, Republicans! With the changing of the year, we assume you’ll be turning over a new leaf, looking toward the future and leaving behind the petty bickering and toddler-like tantrums that characterized 2014. Ha ha, just kidding, of course. Read more on With No Other Problems In Sight, GOP Will Spend 2015 Fighting Obamacare…
  She Is A Expert

Meghan McCain: Get Your Own Damn Rich Family, America

OMG, you guys, we are so psyched that Meghan McCain, the young “writer” with the charm of curdled egg nog who pulled herself up by her own stilettos (and also is the daughter of John McCain, which is totally irrelevant), finally figured out for us what is wrong with America. Guess. Read more on Meghan McCain: Get Your Own Damn Rich Family, America…
  the power of aqua buddha compels you

Rand Paul Sure Loves This Dude Who Loves The Confederacy

We all put our pants on one leg at a time. Or not.
Like Jesus, we all have a cross to bear, and our particular cross is shaped like Sen. Rand Paul (R-Headdesk), a man so dumb that we are amazed he is allowed out of his house without wearing a helmet and a mouth guard. And when he joins forces with Judge Andrew Napolitano, the Confederate apologist prone to criticizing President Lincoln for forcing an end to slavery when the judge insists the “peculiar institution” would have eventually, someday, probably, likely died out on its own? The tsunami of dumb unleashed on the public could make Idiocracy look like the Oxford classroom scenes in Chariots of Fire. Read more on Rand Paul Sure Loves This Dude Who Loves The Confederacy…
  Dumb and dumber

Ann Coulter Still Getting On TV Somehow

S-M-R-T
You almost (relax, we said almost) have to pity Ann Coulter, the once semi-relevant “author” and “columnist” whose brand was being The Hot Conservative Chick, with the long blonde hair and little black dresses — oh, and the obnoxious things she’s always willing to say to get her name in the paper. She used to have slightly more pull on the Wingnut Welfare Circuit, before the greatest lady grifter of all time snowdrifted down to the lower 48 to seize The Hot Conservative Chick crown with her Neiman Marcus wardrobe and her starburst-inspiring winking, pretty much permanently putting baby Ann in a corner. (Coulter’s various dalliances with voter fraud — actual voter fraud — certainly didn’t help her reputation.) Read more on Ann Coulter Still Getting On TV Somehow…
  He will pander you women so hard

Wendy Davis Opponent Greg Abbott Will So Give Women Money For Health Care, And Probably Shooooooes

Hey, what's missing from this press conference about women's health care?
Greg Abbott at the St. Joseph’s Women’s Medical Center/Photo by Teddy Schleifer, Houston Chronicle Do you see anything missing in this Houston Chron picture of Greg Abbott, announcing how much he loves ladies’ health? No? Us either. The Republican, running against Wendy Davis for Texas governor, wants voters to know abortion-loving Wendy Davis isn’t the only candidate who cares about the ladies and their lady health whatever care. He is the REAL feminist, after all. In fact, as he previously told us, “there is nobody in the state of Texas who has done more to fight to help women than I have in the past decade.” And we totally definitely absolutely (do not actually in any way) believe him! Read more on Wendy Davis Opponent Greg Abbott Will So Give Women Money For Health Care, And Probably Shooooooes…
  he's a doctor honey

Rep. Dr. Mike Kennedy, Esq., Will Protect Utah From Dangerous Hospitals

dr mike jd aww yeah
Image via Dr. Mike’s YouTube campaign video People of Utah, did you know you are under threat by monstrous hazards that lurk behind gleaming facades, endangering your very life under the diabolical ruse of helping you avoid death? There could even be one of these hulking terrors right in your own neighborhood.  Fortunately, there is a kindly doctorman fighting to protect you from these deathtraps, these hospitals, by making sure you don’t have access to them. That man is Dr. Mike, J.D., also known as state Rep. Michael S. Kennedy of Utah’s 27th House District. Read more on Rep. Dr. Mike Kennedy, Esq., Will Protect Utah From Dangerous Hospitals…