health and human services

Hey, y’all hear about this burgeoning crisis of little children sent by their anguished, desperate parents alone to America? If your sole source of news is this here Wonket, you didn’t, because “unaccompanied minors flooding into the nation by the thousands and then getting locked in tiny baby jails” is not easily festooned with dick […]

When we first read this article about notorious cosmic dingleberry Darrell Issa (R-Satan’s Bunghole), we seriously had a newsgasm. After cleaning up our computer screen, we have been laughing ever since, because… well, this is just so awesome, even though it is from Politico: The Health and Human Services Department told… Chairman Darrell Issa [R-CA] […]

For some time there’s been a simmering freakout on the right about how the Affordable Care Act did sex with the National Voter Registration Act of 1993 and now everyone who visits an ObamaKare Throat-Booting Center will be force-fed a voter registration form while Kathleen Sebelius tattoos DEMORAT COMMIE 4 LYFE on their necks. Sounds […]

Oh, conservatives. Your perpetual ragesad about Obamacare could power a small country. We lose track of what you are mad at today. What are you mad at today? Oh hey, Marco Rubio. Didn’t see you there. Were you off getting a drink of water? Anyway. What’s got your tear ducts flowing? Oh. You’re sad that […]

Never mind the Death Panels, did you know that Obamacare has a secret provision that will allow forced home inspections? Well of course it does! Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft warns: Here come the home raids… A new provision in Obamacare will allow government forces to carry out forced home inspections. Golly, that […]

In breaking news-that-shouldn’t-be-news, a Republican Senator has publicly stated that he will help constituents if they call asking for help about a federal program! Ticker-tape parade! Balloons! A spread of the finest Ritz crackers and Costco-brand cheeses in all the land! Who is this brave Republican who will seek to actually help the people who […]

Oh my gosh, you guys, did you know that Barack Obama is “grooming” your innocent children to turn them into sex fiends? We’d have been unaware of this science fact were it not for totally credible (or is it “credulous”? We mix those up sometimes) wingnut freakout artist Matt Barber, the guy who angrily denounced […]

Hey ladies! How’s your womb? Is it fruitful? No? What about now? Is it fruitful yet? Well are you even TRYING? It is your job to fill your stomach with tiny babies, a Quiver full of babies even, and if you do not want, say, 19 babies, then you are a heathen Communist Chinee. That […]

For the first time in the 105-year history of the Food and Drug Administration an FDA directive has been publicly overruled by the department of Health and Human Services. About what? About teenagers doing it! That’s right, FDA commissioner Margaret Hamburg released a statement yesterday declaring that Plan-B, an emergency contraceptive long known to anyone […]

Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius made Barack Obama’s short list for vice presidential candidates when it was thought he needed some ladies up in there, ladies besides the future Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. And boom just like that, “Kathleen Sebelius” was a household name! And then she spoke at the Democratic National Convention and everyone […]

Yikes! Barack Obama might still like this guy for Health and Human Services, but somebody is out to get poor Tom Daschle, an innocent and honorable man who accidentally underpaid his taxes by a hundred thousand dollars and change. Two Democratic turncoats have been whispering in the ears of Politico reporters, to whom we link […]

Anybody who saw the Senate Minority Leader lose his seat in 2004 and then magically reappear in 2008 with a pair of snappy red glasses knows that Tom Daschle is a bit of a jackass. But little did we know he was a tax cheat who would blame his current woes on his accountant.