Tag: headlines

Creationist Ken Ham Cannot Believe The Washington Post Would Lie About Dinosaurs

Ken Ham is right for the first time ever in his whole life.
You can tell he's being silly because his appleheaded vagina mouth is in the "giggle" position.

Correction: Donald Trump Did NOT Threaten To Deport All Muslims To The Moon

Hello, all Wonkette's favorite liberal blogs, what are you up to? Playing a game of telephone with each other, like Ben Carson telling himself his life story? Cool. Let's watch a media frenzy unfold, but let's do it backward,...

Derp Roundup: Tiger Selfies, Responsible Howitzer Owners, And Open Carry Guitars

Welcome to another Derp Roundup, the feature where we turn a pressure-washer on our browser tabs and skim off the weird, just for you. Please read responsibly and do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of Derp. Our...

Derp Roundup: Jenna Bush Has A Posse — And They’re Big Jerk Babies

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the feature where we bring you the very best of the worst detritus that's clung to our browser tabs all week. We find the stories that are too short for a full...

Conservative Newspaper Editor Fired For Rude Headline About Putting Something In President’s Butt

If someone told you to go "shove it," you'd think that was pretty cute, right? Maybe you'd come back with a quick "up your nose with a rubber hose" and, tension defused, you'd ask if they got to second...

Grift On, Grizzly Grammaw: Sarah Palin Returns To Fox News

Exciting boob toob newz! Sarah Palin will be rejoining Fox News as a "contributor!" Weirdly, the Vanilla from Wasilla, O.G. Sno B. Grifta has done nothing to make us laugh, cringe, weep, sigh, or howl at the moon THAT WE KNOW OF...

Here Is Your Dick-Joke Headline of the Day

They're really spicing things up over there! We will never understand why people continue to use the word "tap" like this. Also, Norm Dicks is currently 69. EASY JOKES: THEY'RE ALL AROUND US!

Don’t Worry, the Space Shuttle Didn’t Blow Up Again

Let's see, we've only had five actual Space Shuttles, and two of them have blown up -- killing everyone aboard and bumming out the nation for weeks/months -- and actually Endeavor was built of old Challenger replacement parts after...

GOP Not Satisfied With Dems’ Government Takeover Of Tax Breaks

RUN FOR THE HILLS, DEMOCRATS! They need to stop governing from the left/socialist lefty mcleftosphere and be more better bipartisan-like because the Republicans want to work with them. When will pro-life elderly Mormon Harry Reid stop being so very...

Maybe Just Do Not Use The ‘MILF’ Acronym In Headlines!

Reuters Copy Editor: "Yeah go ahead and stick in the word 'the' before 'MILF'—that way no one will even make that connection anymore."

‘Released’: Also A Sex Thing! (?)

Nice, bro.

Funniest Ted Kennedy Headline Of The Day Goes To…

...The Los Angeles Times! It is impossible to take anyone who uses the word "taint" seriously anymore, in this country. We blame this on Rod Blagojevich's appointment of Roland Burris.

Philippines Attacks MILF Lair

C'mon now.

Talking With The Enemy Will Only Increase Violence!

Here's a curious pairing of headlines from the Washington Post website. John McCain, as he has been and will continue doing for the next eight years, called Obama a softie who ignorantly treats our enemies like actual human beings....