headlines

If someone told you to go “shove it,” you’d think that was pretty cute, right? Maybe you’d come back with a quick “up your nose with a rubber hose” and, tension defused, you’d ask if they got to second base with Mary Sue and how about going to the malt shop and do they really […]

Exciting boob toob newz! Sarah Palin will be rejoining Fox News as a “contributor!” Weirdly, the Vanilla from Wasilla, O.G. Sno B. Grifta has done nothing to make us laugh, cringe, weep, sigh, or howl at the moon THAT WE KNOW OF in the roughly one day since the network made the announcement. Patience is counseled. She has never […]

They’re really spicing things up over there! We will never understand why people continue to use the word “tap” like this. Also, Norm Dicks is currently 69. EASY JOKES: THEY’RE ALL AROUND US! [Roll Call via Wonkette operative "Andrew B."]

Let’s see, we’ve only had five actual Space Shuttles, and two of them have blown up — killing everyone aboard and bumming out the nation for weeks/months — and actually Endeavor was built of old Challenger replacement parts after that shuttle exploded shortly after launch, meaning we started with just four, and half of that […]

RUN FOR THE HILLS, DEMOCRATS! They need to stop governing from the left/socialist lefty mcleftosphere and be more better bipartisan-like because the Republicans want to work with them. When will pro-life elderly Mormon Harry Reid stop being so very liberal? [NYT]

Reuters Copy Editor: “Yeah go ahead and stick in the word ‘the’ before ‘MILF’—that way no one will even make that connection anymore.” [Front Row]

Nice, bro. [Christian Science Monitor; h/t to TILF "John J."]

…The Los Angeles Times! It is impossible to take anyone who uses the word “taint” seriously anymore, in this country. We blame this on Rod Blagojevich’s appointment of Roland Burris. [LAT]

C’mon now. [PhilStar.com, h/t Shorts' Pants]

Here’s a curious pairing of headlines from the Washington Post website. John McCain, as he has been and will continue doing for the next eight years, called Obama a softie who ignorantly treats our enemies like actual human beings. Obama thinks *talking* to dangerous regimes, in some form, will achieve anything? Like a truce or […]