Wonkette

• Attention tourists: the following will vastly cut down on the number of dirty looks you receive per hour of touring. [An OC Girl Living In An Extraordinary World]

• Not included in the guide: how do handle crazed violent psychos on the metro. [ Thoreau's Journal]
• Distinguishing the rapport of a bottle-rocket from a MAC-10 is for more advanced urban tourists. [Cruel Sommer]
• A cell of terrorist haxors has started attacking sites they find while surfing for porn. [The Gentlemen of the CPMC]
• MTV heads to Hawk n’ Dove for the same reason everyone does: hard partying underage interns willing to exploit themselves. [The Hill]

* CIA Director Porter Goss called it quits this week, and didn’t make up a reason for leaving. Not even the standard “time with my family” excuse, which of course makes us think it had something to do with the hookers or the gambling and payola. Anyway, he’s back on the gulf shore already, and everyone is waiting to hear who the next shady character to take over the job is going to be. MORE »

Representative Kennedy was, according to his own statement, hopped up on goofballs at the time of his early-morning car wreck yesterday. The ol’ Ambien defense, ya see. Which we believe is the same excuse used by John Kerry to justify his vote for the war resolution. But the Boston Herald might’ve hurt that alibi a bit: MORE »