There has often emerged from the American electorate a sort of vague, inchoate idea that more “bipartisanship” is needed in our politics. Elitists who are heavily connected to the financial services industry but are cool with abortion and gay people think, completely incorrectly, that this indicates that there’s room for some sort of middle ground […]

We can’t believe we forgot to watch the “live stream” of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s press conference — which wasn’t on the teevee because of how the media is colluding to protect the illegal alien “president” — and he has some news! In fact, Arpaio’s “posse” of investigators into the national security threat (true […]

Before George H.W. Bush became America’s lovable old “sensible Republican” grandpa, he was an angry, out-of-touch Republican president, who was flabbergasted to lose in ’92 to a fat pot-smoking southerner whom he publicly called a “bozo.” For most of his term, Bush’s chief of staff was unpleasant former New Hampshire Governor John Sununu, who was […]

Can you find Jeff Spicoli in this picture? Have they already smoked their marijuana, or are they preparing to smoke their marijuana? Did they smoke two joints before they smoked two joints? Will they smoke two INTERCEPTED! In the meantime, aw man, doesn’t this take you back? All that’s missing is someone’s mom to drive […]

Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett has been in hot pursuit of extra-double email verification from the Hawaii government of Barack Obama’s birth certificate. Bennett made a pledge to the state’s voters — no extra-double email verification, no Obama on the ballot. What’s the big deal, haters? He’s only seeking this unique extra verification because […]

Hi. Tonight we are reminded that this country has 50 states and even some territories, and each must have her chance to say, “Ahem” regarding positions of power. It’s time for us to tune in to Mississippi and Alabama (and later, after this Wonkette has gone to bed at 8PM PST or so, Hawaii) and […]

The end of the year (world?) can be a good time to reflect on all of the happy times of the last 12 months, like gym sessions with Desmond Tutu, victories in world domination, and whatever is actually going on in this photo. Perhaps it is also an appropriate time to consider the past year’s […]

Barack Obama is on vacation in Hawaii, where he is sampling the taste of the local infants. It’s sort of cute, until you realize this child is probably already halfway to Gitmo. [YouTube]

Joyless schoolmarm Barack Obama unceremoniously decided to axe murder history’s last remaining awesome thing, the “ha ha, look at all the heads of state dressed up as goofy commoners” party time photo-op traditionally held each year for leaders at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit. But this year’s meeting is in luscious Hawaii, which makes aloha […]

It is common knowledge in this country that the path to a legitimate American presidency begins with baptizing a white baby in a fountain of oil and money and includes a few years of reckless drug experimentation and, potentially, a religious epiphany, before the Bombing and Ruining Everything phase kicks in. This is why Americans […]

The White House gathered the press this morning as usual and just passed out the president’s birth certificate. And then that was it. It’s here. The full thing. Long-form. Signed by the doctor. Etc. President Obama finally just asked Hawaii for the thing, and Hawaii finally just gave it to him. According to the document, […]

Donald Trump has certainly given a very interesting interview to the Today show, considering he’s going to be our next president of the United States and all! “Let me just say something. There’s nobody more militaristic than me.” Cool! It’s about time we had a president with no experience in politics who is upfront about […]

As tsunami waves from the Japan earthquake begin to hit Hawaii and are on their way to our West Coast, the federal government has been closely monitoring the situation at the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center and is issuing advisories to those affected as necessary. Luckily, they aren’t anticipating major damage. The United States is able […]

Hawaii Democratic Sen. Daniel Akaka will not seek re-election in 2012, the fifth Democratic or Democratic aligned incumbent to bow out already this election cycle. Way to cut and run, Akaka! At 86, you’re probably the second- or third-youngest person in the entire Congress! You shouldn’t be allowed to leave the Senate until you’re dead. […]

Dear Birthers: It’s okay, I’m white. Listen up, you guys: I like what you’re doing. I do. It’s very entertaining. Even your name is funny! Your undying Birther devotion to your initial impulse that the president of the United States “doesn’t seem like he’s from around these parts” is adorable. But I’m afraid this birth […]