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Posts Tagged ‘hawaii’

EXCLUSIVE Barack Obama Hawaiian Beach Photo (With Phallic Thing)

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Click, for christ's sake!All those press pool photographers from the Big Media didn’t exactly bring home any tremendous Barack Obama beach pictures from Hawaii. But Wonkette is proud to announce THE MOST AWESOME SHIRTLESS OBAMA photo in the history of politics, plus oh jesus what is that thing hanging out of his swim trunks? MORE »


Why You Must Never Google-Image ‘Man Boobs’

Friday, August 15th, 2008

Barack Obama publicly taking off his shirt in Hawaii — or as Reuters puts it in a headline, “Obama takes shirt off again” — is such a cheap topic of discussion that we had to make it, in fact, a topic of discussion, between yours truly and Sara K. Smith, in a chat, after the jump. MORE »


Looks Like They Finally Got ‘Em

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

The Great Media Sweepstakes of Summer 2008 has a winner! Some lackey pool reporter was lucky enough to spy on Barack Obama’s private family vacation when his shirt was off. This reporter’s sweepstakes prize basket includes $100 in Delaware lottery tickets, a free dessert at Bennigan’s, and a comical CNN Political Ticker write-up to go alongside this, the most pathetic news photograph we’ve ever seen. [CNN]


Barack Obama Found On Mysterious Beach!

Wednesday, August 13th, 2008

Ah, here it is, gamesetmatch for McCain — Obama’s been caught kidnapping/fathering black children in French Hawaii! We knew something was up with this slimeball. If you want to see more spy photos from this man’s private vacation, the Huffington Post has a nice collection. What a family! When we look at this picture, all negativity and trauma briefly drowns out from the world; every problem has been momentarily solved and there are no more questions to ask. When a HuffPo commenter looks at this picture, however, (s)he types, “Awww … how sweet. BO takes yet ANOTHER vacation while another country goes under. Good thing HRC is on the trail saving his inexperienced a**!!!” You’d have to be a damn fool to believe these nice vacation photos wouldn’t become attack fodder. [HuffPo]


Why Hasn’t Barack Obama Stopped the Russians?

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

America's Finest Thinker.Jonah Goldberg penned a steaming heap of trash for today’s LA Times, blasting Moroccan strongman Barack Obama for not properly managing America’s foreign relations with Russia and Georgia during these current (oh wait, aborted!) beginnings of World War III. (Not the war with Mexico, different one.) MORE »


John McCain Is Biggest Celebrity Rock Star Of York, Pennsylvania

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

While Barack Obama continues to putz around like a jerk on vacation in “exotic” Hawaii, John McCain has been campaigning across Pennsylvania with Tom Ridge, the guy who inexplicably decided he’d rather serve as George W. Bush’s powerless anti-terrorism bitch than remain a popular governor of a large state. Well, the Pennsylvanians are just loving this pair. They’re packing the crowds, chanting McCain’s name, you name it. And if you can even believe it, some teenage girls are waking up before dawn to get into McCain rallies. Hope is for dopes! All the kids talk about these days is that old Republican bastard, John McCain. MORE »


Cokie Roberts Does Not Want Barack Obama To Vacation In Exotic Locale Where Foreign Teevee Shows Such As ‘Magnum P.I.’ And ‘Hawaii Five-O’ Were Filmed

Monday, August 11th, 2008

Oh good God. It is probably time for either Cokie Roberts or Wonkette to retire, now that we have said basically the same thing about Barack Obama’s elitist vacation to some place called “Hawaii,” which is located in the lower left-hand corner of the map right next to Alaska — and yet has burning hot summers, whereas Alaska is forever enshrouded in snow. Why won’t Barack Obama apologize for visiting his grandmother in this curious “Mystery Spot” where many Americans go on package tours? [YouTube]


Will Embarrassing Elitist Photos Emerge From Obama’s Hawaii Vacation?

Thursday, August 7th, 2008

Not elitistDemocratic operatives are surprisingly not scared shitless about Obama’s upcoming vacation to Hawaii, despite the party’s well known reputation as shirtless pussies who are always being gay on beaches: “In a piece of footage endlessly recycled to mock his supposed elitism and even foreignness, Mr Kerry was caught on camera windsurfing off Massachusetts. Since Mr Obama is taking his holiday at a private beach house in Hawaii, surrounded by the secret service, campaign officials worry less about his exposure to the paparazzi. Besides, they say, most Americans will be tuned into the Olympics.” The Olympics? Ha! You silly campaign officials, letting down your guard. [Financial Times]


Ooh, Someone’s Too Good For Real America?

Monday, July 28th, 2008

Four-year-old lazy greaseball European gay Himmler-phile Barack Obama continues to be too effete for the United States. He just got back from his stupid trip to Nowheresville, Iraq and pinko Europe and he’s already planning another trip out of the country — this time to “Hawaii,” the main island of Indonesia, where he grew up as a Muslim with pineapples as his only loser friends. From the Washington Post: “Sen. Barack Obama, preparing for the Democratic National Convention and the long march to November, plans to spend about a week in Hawaii in mid-August, mostly on vacation.” We look forward to Maureen Dowd’s interpretation of this on… well whatever day her weird column comes out. [WP/The Trail]


Obama’s Birth Certificate Claims He Was ‘Born’ At Some Point

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

Famous blogger Markos “Kos” of the Daily Kos liberal website claims that this is Barack Obama’s birth certificate, which he obtained by asking the campaign. As you can see, it is clearly false: his race is not “African” as this crap-ument suggests, it is “Muslim,” and the Wingnuts live another day. [Daily Kos]


Barack Obama’s Sixth-Grade Yearbook Photos!

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

Why do pencils hate America?Contrary to popular belief, Barack Obama was not hatched from a magical Muslim egg at the age of 35. In fact he had a normal Christian childhood in Hawaii, and we have photographic evidence to prove it! Here he is pictured at the historic brokered Pencil Chewers Convention of ‘73. Riots and an assassination attempt (pictured here) marred the proceedings, but in the end Barry was able to bring people together around a platform of hope, and pencils. MORE »


Obama 77%, Hillary 23% In Early Hawaii Reporting

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

Surfin' Bird Surfin' BirdWith 26 of 347 precincts reporting, “native son” Barack Obama is beating Hillary Clinton three to one. And Wonkette is now going to bed because it’s “three ‘o one” in the morning. Happy 10th (or 11th) Straight Victory In a Row, Barry Obama! [Honolulu Advertiser]


Report From Maui: Record Turnout! Obamaui!

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow<br />
Well don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word!Wonkette operative “Kerry” from “Maui” reports: MORE »


Report From Hawai’i: Barack Will Kill, So Go To Bed

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

Saddened and angered by our nation’s Cable News Channels switching to repeats long before any results appeared from Hawaii, we demanded Inside Information from our island readers. Here’s what we’ve learned, courtesy of totally objective Wonkette operative Noreen H. in Honolulu: MORE »