Whoa, neato! “Researchers on Thursday announced the discovery of two World War II Japanese submarines, including one meant to carry aircraft for attacks on American cities and the Panama Canal, in deep water off Hawaii, where they were sunk 63 years ago.” They are still operational and Obama plans to operate them, on America and the Panama Canal. No, they are not operational at all. But will Obama still use them? [NYT]

• LIKELY VOTERS IN NORTH CAROLINA, A BLUE STATE: “Public Policy Polling also asked those surveyed whether they consider Hawaii to be part of the U.S. Five percent said no, and 3 percent said they were not sure.” What is this “consider” business? [News & Observer]

• If we don’t have the F-22, how are we going to fight China, on the Moon? [RedState]
• From now on, please refer to Matt Yglesias as the Breeding Male. Thank you. [Matt Yglesias]
• First there was Tom Paine, with his annoying pamphlets. And then there was That Guy, who brutalized baby dolls and then hung them from metal chains, on a stick. Patriots. [YouTube/TPM]
• Orly Taitz’s Plan B: Hawaii secedes from the Union, and then Barack Obama is deported for being Hawaiian, aka a dirty foreigner. [Hit & Run]
• If you love the Free Republic as much as the Gays do, click here! [AMERICAblog]

Amazing things have happened in the House this afternoon; go read all of what Sam Stein wrote, here, he’s good at these things. Briefly, though: Rep. Neil Abercrombie of Hawaii — former buddy of Barack Obama Senior! — introduced a resolution “Recognizing and celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the entry of Hawaii into the Union as the 50th State,” which now includes the line, “Whereas the 44th President of the United States, Barack Obama, was born in Hawaii…” SO WHAT’S IT GONNA BE, GOP congressmen with insane constituents?? Apparently they need some time to think about this standard symbolic resolution, because Michele Bachmann blocked the quick and easy passage of it on the floor this afternoon. Why would she do that? [Huffington Post]

The pineapple heads over in Hawaii have passed the worst piece of legislation EVER, worse even than the Fugitive Slave Act. They have decided to make September 24, 2009 into “Islam Day,” which will feature forcible conversions, public executions, and widespread consumption of halal meats. MORE »

POLITICO MUST BE BOMBED TO HELL, RIGHT NOW: “Obama has been photographed several times without his shirt as a presidential candidate but he’s about to step into the White House — so how much skin is too much? There is a fine line, experts said, and this time at least, Obama was on the right side of it.” And in the next paragraph, there’s a quote from an expert! He says it’s normal for the humans to take their shirts off at the beach! And the expert’s name is “Howard Bragman,” which is clearly made up. Ugh. We’re not even going to link to this article. [Mystery Link]

Our own Jim Newell is a modern day NOSTRADAMUS. Just four days ago he wrote about gays hatin’ on Pastor Rick Warren, “This furious resistance will last, at most, four days, when new shirtless pixxx of Obama in Hawaii will leak to the Huffington Post and everyone will forget about gay invocations or whatever.” Well, they leaked to TMZ, but otherwise A plus! You really can write the news in advance. Photo by Bauer Griffin. [TMZ]

To answer your question re: the headline: the white one. She’s so sick right now! According to spokesman Robert Gibbs, “In the last few weeks her health has deteriorated to the point where her situation is very serious.” Rumor has it that she’s still suffering injuries from an incident this past Spring in which a grandson threw her under the bus. Okay, okay. But she’s looking really bad, and Barack Obama is SUSPENDING HIS CAMPAIGN for a couple of days to visit her in Hawaii, during which time he will also save the bailout bill and the economy. Maybe he’ll also sneak in some beach time and we’ll get more shirtless pixxxx!!! [Politico]

All those press pool photographers from the Big Media didn’t exactly bring home any tremendous Barack Obama beach pictures from Hawaii. But Wonkette is proud to announce THE MOST AWESOME SHIRTLESS OBAMA photo in the history of politics, plus oh jesus what is that thing hanging out of his swim trunks? MORE »

Barack Obama publicly taking off his shirt in Hawaii — or as Reuters puts it in a headline, “Obama takes shirt off again” — is such a cheap topic of discussion that we had to make it, in fact, a topic of discussion, between yours truly and Sara K. Smith, in a chat, after the jump. MORE »

The Great Media Sweepstakes of Summer 2008 has a winner! Some lackey pool reporter was lucky enough to spy on Barack Obama’s private family vacation when his shirt was off. This reporter’s sweepstakes prize basket includes $100 in Delaware lottery tickets, a free dessert at Bennigan’s, and a comical CNN Political Ticker write-up to go alongside this, the most pathetic news photograph we’ve ever seen. [CNN]