Tag Archives: harvard

  Better Living Through Ignorance

House GOP Hearing On Science Uncontaminated By Any Scientists

Please adjust your speaker settings if your computer can't handle the Dolby
In the great Republican tradition of white people telling black people what racism is, or congressional committees run by men setting policies on women’s health, the Natural Resources Committee held a very important hearing on the politicization of science last week. To keep the testimony untainted by bias, subcommittee chair Rep. Louie Gohmert didn’t invite any actual scientists to testify. It was an inspiring reminder that the House Science Committee doesn’t have a monopoly on ruining science. Read more on House GOP Hearing On Science Uncontaminated By Any Scientists…
  Fat Blasting Brain Loss Miracle

The Snake Oil Bulletin Sifts Through The Pseudoscientific Dingleberries Of Dr. Mehmet Oz

Too old for this shit.
Welcome back, pilgrims! It’s good to see you’ve returned to your old friend the Snake Oil Bulletin, the weekly compendium of the latest horsepuckey to plop itself right here on our beloved interwebs. Now normally we focus on a smattering of stories to whet your woo woo whistle, but this week we’ve decided that special devotion should be reserved for a brave, beleaguered hero, that duke of duplicitous drivel, Dr. Mehmet Oz, MD (Malarkey Dipshit). Dr. Oz has had quite the adventure over the past year, but as you’ll soon see, it takes a lot to keep a poppycock peddler down. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin Sifts Through The Pseudoscientific Dingleberries Of Dr. Mehmet Oz…
  Here have some news n stuff

Cool New Rules At The L.A. Times: No More Vacation Days, And You Can Never Be Sick Again

Yeahhhhhhhh, you're gonna have to work anyway
It’s really hard to imagine that anyone could think this is a wise management decision: Starting January 1, staffers will no longer be able to bank vacation — because they won’t automatically earn or be entitled to any vacation, sick days or floating holidays. To get any time off, a reporter or editor will have to go to a supervisor and make a case “subject to their professional judgment and to the performance expectations of their supervisor that apply to their job.” In one stroke, vacation time and sick days become a management tool to monitor and reward or punish performance — or to favor the yes men that plague the Times’ organization — and crucially, a way to get that expensive banked vacation off the books. That’s because if a staffer succeeds in getting permission to take time off, he or she first has to use any banked time to pay for it. So the company’s financial burden gradually lessens. Read more on Cool New Rules At The L.A. Times: No More Vacation Days, And You Can Never Be Sick Again…
  If 'Bitch' Is Even A Swear (Which It Isn't)

Old Handsome Joe Biden Said Another Swear!

When caffeine gets drowsy, it takes a little Joe Biden
Prepare for some pissing and moaning, probably, over Old Handsome Joe Biden just being Old Handsome Joe Biden again: Thursday, at a Harvard event, His Handsomeness said a swear, kinda-sorta: “Isn’t it a bitch, I mean … that vice president thing?” Biden joked, as the audience reportedly erupted with laughter. ”I’m joking. I’m joking. I’m joking. The best decision I ever made.” All of which leads one to wonder, once more, what Old Handsome Joe Biden has against dogs, like that time he just cold killed one. (OK, his motorcade did. Still, he’s a monster.) Read more on Old Handsome Joe Biden Said Another Swear!…
  celebrity jeopardy

Washed-Up Has-Been Newt Gingrich Tired Of Famous-For-Nothing Hillary Clinton Getting So Much Attention

Normally, we rely on our sister site, HappyNiceTimePeople.com, to cover people who are famous for being famous. But every now and then, some no-talent celebrity decides to wade into politics, despite a complete lack of resume and credentials, and we are forced to mock them back to the realm of do-nothingness. Giant-headed moon enthusiast Newt Gingrich helpfully brought the latest sad sack wanna-be politician to our attention, per Raw Story: “First Lady, Senator, Secretary Clinton is very famous for being famous,” Gingrich opined. “And as long as she can continue to be famous, she will be famous.” Seriously, what has Hillary accomplished? No famous parents and not even one sex tape! Preach on, Newt. Preach on.  Read more on Washed-Up Has-Been Newt Gingrich Tired Of Famous-For-Nothing Hillary Clinton Getting So Much Attention…
  try try again

No, Goldman Sachs, Ladies At A Tech Event Probably Did Not Want Nail File Swag

So let’s say you’re a group of undergraduate women running a conference designed to “promote female representation in technical fields and create a community among women in technology.” That is a good thing! Be proud, stand tall. But it is a dumb thing to ask one of your sponsors to provide lady-themed swag. Also, too, it is a dumb thing for the sponsor, Goldman Sachs, to acquiesce to this request and provide Things You Think Ladies Like. Read more on No, Goldman Sachs, Ladies At A Tech Event Probably Did Not Want Nail File Swag…
  defending the indefensible

Smart Jewish Lady Thinks Bazillionaire Was Right About Progressives Genociding Him, So That’s Settled

It’s over, people! The Tom Perkins controversy is over. A lady called Ruth Wisse, who is a smart Harvard-type Jewish lady who writes so many books about Jewish stuff, has decided that Tom Perkins was right on the money when he said that “progressives” might be getting ready to genocide all rich people. She is slippery, though: She, like Tom Perkins, is just asking questions: But is there something to be said for his comparison—not of Germany and the United States, of course, but of the politics at work in the two situations? Hmm, IS there “something to be said for his comparison”? Beyond “it was stupid, many people laughed at it, and we are confident that, on the whole, it won over literally not a single person”? No, but it’s pretty much this lady’s entire job to compare things abstractly, and not very well, and write words about them, so she’ll just do that and we’ll see where we end up, shall we? Once more unto the breach, dear friends! Read more on Smart Jewish Lady Thinks Bazillionaire Was Right About Progressives Genociding Him, So That’s Settled…
  our long national nightmare is just beginning

Texans Spend Eight Minutes In Heaven With Ted Cruz; Rest Of Nation Barely Resists Urge To Vomit

Eight minutes can be a really long time. It’s about the amount of time it takes light from the sun to travel to the earth. Or in more earthly terms, it’s twice as long as Gary’s never-gonna-happen fantasy about Piper Perabo. But if you are an addled, half-brained drooling Tea-jadist, then it is just the right amount of time to give a standing ovation to Texi-Canadian ass-monkey Ted Cruz: Republican Sen. Ted Cruz received an eight-minute standing ovation upon his return to Texas this past weekend, despite an extended, hostile campaign from Democrats and the mainstream media to portray him as a dangerous extremist. Thanks, Daily Caller, for noting that the hostile campaign to portray Ted Cruz as a dangerous extremist is a ludicrous notion from the MSM and crazy libruls. Because causing billions of dollars to the economy FOR NOTHING is totally cool and not dangerous or extreme at all, no siree.  Read more on Texans Spend Eight Minutes In Heaven With Ted Cruz; Rest Of Nation Barely Resists Urge To Vomit…
  artisanal salt of the earth (only $65/lb from deluca's)

Ted Cruz, Humble Man Of The People, Refused To Study With Anyone From ‘The Lesser Ivies’

Ted Cruz is a man of the people, from humble roots. Just ask Sarah Palin, who knows a thing or two about selling herself as a simple down-home yokel (albeit with a greater degree of truthiness). Ted Cruz is on the side of ordinary Americans, because he is one of them, or at least has learned how to be photographed in the presence of ordinary Americans. Of course, he wasn’t always so willing to mingle with the unwashed. Read more on Ted Cruz, Humble Man Of The People, Refused To Study With Anyone From ‘The Lesser Ivies’…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

A Children’s Treasury Of Derp: Your Weekend Roundup Of Dumbth

Welcome to another edition of our Derp Roundup, that collection of virtual floor sweepings that are too stoopid to completely ignore but not worth a full-length post. To start with, let’s give an Excellence In Trolling medal to the sometimes-funny Andy Borowitz, whose New Yorker piece this week was characteristically meh, but managed to fool a few people, including Stupidest Guest Blogger On the Internet Mara Zebest, over at Gateway Pundit, whose impassioned overreaction — “Obama is a thin-skinned man-child and the laughing stock of the world” — doesn’t really depend on the veracity of the source material anyway. After commenters pointed out that Borowitz is satire — and a commenter whined about Obama being elected by “low information voters who get their info from Hollywood and comedians” — Zebest pulled the article, but it’s preserved by the magic of Google cache. Thanks, internet! Wonkette wishes a speedy recovery to Jim Hoft, and is exploring the possibility of asking Andy Borowitz to run a story about the $3150 that Gateway Pundit owes us. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Derp: Your Weekend Roundup Of Dumbth…
  blame canada

Canadian Ted Cruz Shocked — Shocked! — To Learn He Is Canadian

Ivy-league graduate and Harvard Law Review editor Ted Cruz is a startling example of how a Grade A Dumbass can become a U.S. Senator. From Texas, but it still counts. Apparently, despite attending Princeton for undergrad and Harvard for law school, this guy had no idea that being born in Canada makes one a Canadian citizen, even though he himself was that guy who was born in Canada and was therefore a Canadian citizen. If only there was some sort of World Wide InterConnected Web of Electronic Pages one could consult to learn about these things. Someone should get on that. Well, the dual-citizen is finally unburdening himself of his Canadian heritage, allowing him to proudly declare that he is an American and only an American. Per The Hill: “Now the Dallas Morning News says that I may technically have dual citizenship,” Cruz said in a statement. “Assuming that is true, then sure, I will renounce any Canadian citizenship.” Although technically, you are still a giant asshole, but we aren’t sure there is a form you can fill out to renounce that.  Read more on Canadian Ted Cruz Shocked — Shocked! — To Learn He Is Canadian…
  journamalism

Whom Is The Daily Caller Casually Libeling Today? (Hint: It Is Former L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa!)

Nice work, Daily Caller “News” “Foundation”! You’ve got a throwaway news item — Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa’s new job as a visiting fellow at Harvard — and used it as the stock for a bouillabaisse of casual lies and pointed misinformation! Young Robby Soave, “reporter,” must be quite proud of him! How are you casually libeling Antonio Villaraigosa today? Read more on Whom Is The Daily Caller Casually Libeling Today? (Hint: It Is Former L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa!)…
  austerity is for little people

Reinhart-Rogoff, Austerity Superduo, Even More Full Of B.S. Than Previously Thought

 Just in case you are unfamiliar with Reinhart-Rogoff: they are a pair of economists who published a very famous paper purporting to show that high public debt to GDP ratio leads to negative economic growth. This paper was waved around by people like Paul Ryan, who used it to argue that cutting Social Security and Medicaid and unemployment were important tools for staving off recession because of the magical thing that happens to economies when the GDP to debt ratio hits 90%. Will you be shocked to learn that Reinhart-Rogoff’s famous paper was wrong? As a graduate student from UMass demonstrated, Reinhart and Rogoff not only based their conclusions off cherry-picked data, they made a serious error in the Excel spreadsheet they were working with. (Math is really hard, you guys.) But wait! There’s more! Not only were Reinhart-Rogoff working with a cherry-picked data set and a thoroughly screwed up spreadsheet, they fell victim to one of the most classic blunders and got the causal relationship backwards: slow growth causes higher debt, not the other way around. D’OH, and cetera. Read more on Reinhart-Rogoff, Austerity Superduo, Even More Full Of B.S. Than Previously Thought…
  we're not bigots you're the ones who're bigots

Niall Ferguson Mansplains Why He Is Sorry About Being Right For Bashing Gays

Last week, Niall Ferguson (an “economic historian” at Harvard) provided a controversial analysis of Keynesian economic policies, arguing that John Maynard Keynes was just too GAY to be a good economist because of something having to do with too much buttseks and no babymaking (no, seriously, this was pretty much exactly what he said.) But don’t worry, it’s cool, he’s sorry you were offended so he has issued an apology, mansplaining that: 1. he cannot possibly be homophobic because he has gay friends, 2. he cannot possibly be racist because he has a Somalian wife, 3. Keynes WAS in fact gay, 4. So there. Do you think we are perhaps jesting, or exaggerating? No, we are not, actually! Here, let us take a tour through Niall Ferguson’s “apology,” noting throughout that THIS IS A HARVARD PROFESSOR. Read more on Niall Ferguson Mansplains Why He Is Sorry About Being Right For Bashing Gays…
  communists under the bed

Texas Dingbat Ted Cruz Will Explain At You That Harvard Law Is Full of Government-Overthrowing Communists

Have you met Ted Cruz yet? He is the new face of crazy for the Republican party, and boy does he have it all — the smug countenance of Paul Ryan! The poise of Joe McCarthy! And the batshit crazy of Rand Paul, or Ron Paul, whatever — either way, he is THAT CRAZY! Did you know, for example, that Harvard Law was stuffed with Commies back in the ’90s, and that they wanted The Communists to overthrow the government? From the New Yorker: Two and a half years ago, Cruz gave a stem-winder of a speech at a Fourth of July weekend political rally in Austin, Texas, in which he accused the Harvard Law School of harboring a dozen Communists on its faculty when he studied there…Cruz greeted the audience jovially, but soon launched an impassioned attack on President Obama, whom he described as “the most radical” President “ever to occupy the Oval Office.” (I was covering the conference and kept the notes.) He then went on to assert that Obama, who attended Harvard Law School four years ahead of him, “would have made a perfect president of Harvard Law School.” The reason, said Cruz, was that, “There were fewer declared Republicans in the faculty when we were there than Communists! There was one Republican. But there were twelve who would say they were Marxists who believed in the Communists overthrowing the United States government.” Read more on Texas Dingbat Ted Cruz Will Explain At You That Harvard Law Is Full of Government-Overthrowing Communists…
  ha ha he is insane

A Reminder That Mitt Romney Spent A Full 100 Years Getting Every Degree At Harvard

Romney says Obama has “spent too much time at Harvard, perhaps.” Romney spent more time attending Harvard than Obama did. — Kasie Hunt (@kasie) April 5, 2012 Mitt Romney, privileged child of a prominent American politician, attended Harvard University for four years to pick up two professional degrees, in law and business, before heading into the cowardly, privileged adult-child’s fake professions of management consulting and private equity. Read more on A Reminder That Mitt Romney Spent A Full 100 Years Getting Every Degree At Harvard…
  america's greatest pundits

Misogynist Neck-Beard Ross Douthat Has Learned To Stop Sharing His Sex Stories

Young Master Ross Douthat, the New York Times op-ed page’s resident Catholic hobbit, has a new book out titled Bad Religion: How We Became a Nation of Heretics, about how screwed we are because of… Jesus… ??… anyway, it is some book. It might even be his best book since the one he wrote about how he couldn’t get it up at Harvard and blamed this on his would-be sex partner. The post that your Wonkette wrote about this still haunts Douthat in interviews — just as it did three years ago, when greatest journalist of all time Brian Lamb (RIP Lamby!) asked him about it. What does he have to say for those of us who thought his gross story about not having boners and shaming ladies on the pill was kinda mean/funny/unnecessary? He agrees! Read more on Misogynist Neck-Beard Ross Douthat Has Learned To Stop Sharing His Sex Stories…
  but did she hug a black man?

BUSTED! Grainy 25-Year-Old VIDEO ‘Shows’ Michelle ‘Whitey’ Obama Sitting In a Harvard Hallway

What would we do without Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller for the relevant, important Ivory Tower news from 1988 — and more importantly, does Ghost Andrew Breitbart know about this? Daily Caller star reporter Matthew Boyle (recently seen blaming AG Eric Holder for the lack of a pre-crime unit in DC’s Metro) is on the case of Michelle “Whitey” Obama’s race-baiting college and law school days, by linking to some Pajamas Media dude who has unearthed a Smoking Gun! Newly surfaced footage shows a young woman who appears to be Michelle Obama, and several other students, staging a sit-in in the Harvard Law School dean’s office in 1988. Read more on BUSTED! Grainy 25-Year-Old VIDEO ‘Shows’ Michelle ‘Whitey’ Obama Sitting In a Harvard Hallway…
  jackpot

Obama Hugs Black Guy

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com This is essentially the top TV clip of the last five years. You’re gonna wanna bookmark it so that one day years down the road, you might tell your fat post-apocalyptic alien grandkids about how the Ghost of Breitbart era of terror began. It allllll started right here, with this powerful segment on Fox News’ popular bacterium Hannity, exposing Barack Obama’s worst (or second-worst?) secret : One time in 1991, when Obama was serving as the first black president of the Harvard Law Review, he spoke affably of the first black tenured Harvard Law professor, Derrick Bell, while he was peacefully protesting the lack of diversity on Harvard’s faculty. And then Obama hugged him. He might as well have given Sauron a reach-around. Read more on Obama Hugs Black Guy…
  trump-brand nepotism

Trump’s Son-In-Law (Who Is NOT Obama) Bought His Way Into Harvard

While Donald Trump’s team of gumshoes are now travelling the globe trying to find evidence of how President Obama got into Harvard Law School even though he is one of the blacks, it turns out his very own son-in-law, Jared Kushner, is one of those rich types who sneak their way into the Ivy League despite being a poor student that Trump suddenly despises so much. Kushner’s father bought the slot for $2.5 million; later, this nice dad went to prison for tax evasion, so it was like the government paid poor Harvard this douche-stained money. It sounds like our next First Family will be quite upstanding citizens, unlike that current resident who rolls around in his own feces. (We’re talking about the dog. We think.) Read more on Trump’s Son-In-Law (Who Is NOT Obama) Bought His Way Into Harvard…
  it's morning in america

Brain-Dead Donald Suggests Obama Was Too Stupid To Go To Harvard

Teevee’s hairless harlequin Donald Trump is angry at Barack Obama and Robert De Niro, for some reason. (We all know why The Donald is furious at Obama — no birdcertificate — but De Niro? He said something obvious and uncontroversial, like “Donald Trump should shut his pie-hole and die.”) That is a lot of anger! And now Trump will probably send his private investigators to RottenTomatoes.com, to give Robert lots of nasty reviews. But here’s the juiciest new Donald scoop: Obama was a lousy student, and probably cheated his way into Harvard! “I have friends who have smart sons with great marks, great boards, great everything and they can’t get into Harvard,” explained Trump. “How does a bad student [Barack Obama!] go to Columbia and then to Harvard? I’m thinking about it, I’m certainly looking into it. Let him show his records.” Oh gawd oh gawd oh gawd. Meanwhile, serious journalists are wondering if Trump’s “brand” will benefit from a presidential run. Keep asking the tough questions, guys! [LAT] Read more on Brain-Dead Donald Suggests Obama Was Too Stupid To Go To Harvard… Read more on Brain-Dead Donald Suggests Obama Was Too Stupid To Go To Harvard…