harry reid

Harry Reid is telling tales again, and we could not love him more. He’s been fingered (gross) as the gossip girl behind the rumor that Rep. Pete Sessions told Barack Obama, to his face, in the White House, “I cannot even stand to look at you.” Wait a minute, a TEXAN being rude to a […]

Harry Reid is not perfect, as he’ll be the first to tell you. Second to tell you will be your Wonket, your Wonkette, and all of les enfants terrible who would leave comments here, if we allowed those. It’s a three-way tie of telling you second. That said, we can’t think of anyone who’s more […]

On this momentous occasion of the worst possible thing not happening, let’s not concern ourselves overmuch with winners (Democrats, America) and losers (the Tea Party, rank idiocy). Instead, let’s celebrate. Government by extortion has been rejected. A global financial panic has been averted, the United States retains its role as an economic leader, and the […]

Shutdown day 11! Hope you have been getting your Government Shutdown Bonus Card stamped every day, because 12 shutdown days earns you one free voter repression in the swing state of your choice! (Wonkette is going with a minority college kid in North Carolina.) Well, yesterday saw President Obama meeting with top GOP lawmakers at […]

We know you guys love some good old-fashioned derp in these columns, and we aim to please. But frankly, we have to confess that we can’t quite tell if this item from the comment queue is an actual example of Jesse Ventura-lovin’ wingnuttery, or a clever parody of same. “Shweatypalms” writes, in reply to our […]

Harry Reid sat down with Dana Bash after he did not actually tell her that he hates cancer kids, but kinda did tell her she was being “reckless and irresponsible” in front of her peers, which was not very nice. Here he leads with: “You know I am not known for being real ‘articulate,’” and […]

So far this has been a week of shaking our heads at flop-sweating Republicans twisting themselves into rhetorical pretzels as they try to explain why this government shutdown that is very obviously their fault is not actually their fault. Meanwhile, the conservative press has been laboring dutifully to record any equivalent cringe-worthy word salad from […]

As we roll into a second day of mostly shut-down government, House Republicans have introduced an exciting new way to avoid accomplishing anything useful: instead of passing a continuing resolution (CR) to allow government to function, they’re introducing a number of bills to fund popular chunks of the federal government, like national parks, the Department […]

Wow you guys, yesterday sure was a fun day for democracy and we have so much to talk about this morning! What was your favorite part of the great SHUTDOWNGHAZI!!1!!??? Was it that time when the Senate, a body not known for moving with anything approaching alacrity, took less than an hour to strip three […]

Whoever said that manufacturing was dead was clearly not in the “Congressional crisis” industry. You may have thought that supply was low, or that demand was waning, but Congress is back yet again to manufacture another crisis and shove it down your throat, whether you want it or not. What are we collectively gagging on […]

During his 21-hour not-quite filibuster, Senator Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) warned that “Any senator who votes [to allow debate on the House continuing resolution to fund the government] is voting to give Harry Reid the authority to fund Obamacare” because, of course, once debate was allowed, then Reid could strip the language defunding Obamacare from the […]

After sleeping and dreaming of Canadians stabbing our ears with nasal whining, we unfortunately woke up to Ted Cruz still rambling on the teevee, somewhat incoherently, about how Obamacare is the love child of a threesome between the Plague, Hitler’s mustache, and Nickleback. Because we hate ourselves and love Our Glorious Reader all too much, […]

Ok, Glorious Readers, you totally owe us like a gazzilion dollars in donations of monies and/or booze. Because we spent all yesterday afternoon and part of the evening listening to the nasaly, whiny, pompous ass monkey from Texi-Canada, Ted Cruz, mount a fake filibuster about Obamacare. IT. WAS. TEH. WORST. There were several times when […]

Unless you have spent the last week in a hospital because of overdosing on boner pills, you realize that folks in Congress are working harder than usual to ensure the destruction of the American, and possibly global, economy. Our least-favorite Texi-Canadian ass monkey, Ted Cruz, has been argle-bargling something something Obamacare, filibuster, and shutting down […]

You know what’s fun to do? Lie to the American people for months about a government program, get them all hyped up and into a frothing, fanatical tizzy over the notion of defunding said government program, then looking around and realizing that you are just a Canadian-born ass-monkey Senator from Texas and actually have no […]