Tag: harry reid

Your Senate Sunday: Florida’s U.S. Senate Race About As Screwy As Everything Else In Florida

Florida's having another election. Please tighten your safety belts and assume your crash positions.

Wonkagenda: Friday, August 5th, 2016

You get in here and read your morning newz breif, RIGHT NOW!

Wonkagenda, Thursday, 07/28/2016

Here's some of the stories that may grace yr Wonkette today!
The fever will rise again

Republicans Poison Zika Funding Bill With Important Help For Confederate Flag, Cuts To Obamacare

Democrats aren't too crazy about some of the provisions Republicans threw into the Zika funding bill. Isn't allowing Confederate flags in federal cemeteries an important part of fighting infectious disease?
STAY OFF HER NAKEDNESS AREA, YOU TRANSGENDERS.

Hilarious Ladies Sharron Angle, Michele Fiore Both Lose Nevada Primaries. Wonkette Bereft.

Two perennial loons of Nevada politics saw their ambitions for national office thwarted Tuesday. Let's pour out a 40 for the political careers of Michele Fiore and Sharron Angle.
What, you'd rather see a photo of Sharron Angle?

Loopy Sharron Angle Will Take Harry Reid’s Senate Seat With Anime Porn: Your Senate Sunday

Nevada's race for the U.S. Senate looks to be a squeaker between two disciplined mainstream candidates. Fortunately, for comic relief, complete goofball Sharron Angle is also running, for the lulz.

Dem On Dem Violence! Harry Reid Wants To Drown Alan Grayson In A Bathtub

Harry Reid has had enough of walking Panama Papers villain Alan Grayson giving Democrats a bad name. If they have a catfight, will they maybe kiss?
This copy of the Constitution came in a box of cereal

Cliven Bundy Lawsuit Against Obama Demands $50 Million, Get Out Of Jail Free Card, And A Pony

Cliven Bundy has filed a massively stupid lawsuit against President Obama, Sen. Harry Reid, and the federal judge in his criminal case. It's good for some laughs if nothing else.

Bundy Buddies Added Dicks To Indian Petroglyphs. Not A Dick Joke Wonkette Can Get Behind

As everyone knows, the Bunditarian Patriot Militia Jamborees of 2014 and 2016 were all about an important principle, namely, the "return" of federal land to "We The People," because the feds are all about stealing The People's land and...

Pennsylvania Democrats Have Hot 3-Way In Race To Take On Pat Toomey (R-Yawn)

a href="http://wonkette.com/600294/maryland-has-two-awesome-democrats-running-for-senate-can-we-have-both"Welcome back to our newish feature, our weekly countdown of U.S. Senate races, yes, even the ones where there's no real contest. But not this week! Last time, we looked at Maryland's primary between two ridiculously well-qualified Democrats;...
Cowboy Bebop at his computer

At Least Nevada Wingnut Sharron Angle Didn’t Say She Is Nelson Mandela

Perennial Nevada looniebird Sharron Angle, who's pursuing another hilarious run for the U.S. Senate, would like us all to think about the coming metaphorical war for the soul of these United States, and whether we are prepared to fight...
It wasn't his case, but 9/11

9/11-Humper Rudy Giuliani So Mad At Hillary For Starting ISIS

Hillary Clinton is guilty of many things. She does emails to Sidney Blumenthal about what a gas it would be to do Benghazi a whole bunch maybe after brunch next Tuesday. She does secret speeches to Wall Street where...
This election is going better than 2008, we think.

Fox News Pretty Sure Hillary Should Fry For Obama’s SCOTUS Pick

You know that Cards Against Humanity card that says "Pooping back and forth forever?" It's from a movie, but it might as well be about Fox News and other assorted wingnut pundits. We saw it this week on Fox when...

Lindsey Graham To Hold Off On Murdering Sumbitch Ted Cruz For Now

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-The Genteel South) does not like Ted Cruz. Nobody likes Ted Cruz, of course, but Lindsey? He really don't like Ted Cruz. It's uncouth uncivilized Canadian Yankees like Cruz who've turned Graham's beloved Grand Old Party "batshit crazy." Here's...

Meghan McCain Said A Mouth Fart About Obama’s SCOTUS Nomination

Every so often it's important for us to check in with the GOP's greatest mind. No, not Ann Coulter, she's a crusty pile of washed-up nothingess. We are of course talking about Meghan McCain, who for some reason is...

Obamas And Trudeaus Still Slaying Internet With Hotness. Your Weekly Top Ten.

OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY! It's time for your weekly top ten list, where we (SPOILER!) count down the top ten stories of the week. And you internets sure did like our post about how Canadian Prime Minister...