Tag Archives: harry reid

  No ho diddly for you!

Nevada’s Bunny Ranch: Stay Away From Our Nice Hooker Sex Ladies, Josh Duggar!

Nope, Josh Duggar can't have those either.
It’s funny how nobody wants Josh Duggar around anymore, all because a couple police reports, probably concoctions of the lamestream media, say he molested four of his sisters and a babysitter back in the day. The latest place Duggar is persona non grata is the very famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch outside Carson City, Nevada, which has issued a press release saying SORRY JOSH, but your diddle-fingers are just TOO GROSS for our ladies of the night. Read more on Nevada’s Bunny Ranch: Stay Away From Our Nice Hooker Sex Ladies, Josh Duggar!…
  Still not president

Sen. Tom Cotton Turding Up Fellow Republicans’ Iran Punchbowl

He still thinks he's president
Tom Cotton, the freshman tea party senator from Arkansas who’s already made quite a name for himself (and that name is “Traitor”), is making friends and influencing people ALL over the place. Just when Senate Republicans and Democrats were about to enjoy one of those rare moments of agreeing on something — in this case, legislation saying that Congress has a REAL BIG DICK, so it gets to have a say-so in any agreement on Iran’s nuclear program — Sen. Cotton had to fuck everything up, with the help of Sen. Marco Rubio, who doesn’t even give a damn anymore because he’s quitting the Senate anyway to go not be president: Read more on Sen. Tom Cotton Turding Up Fellow Republicans’ Iran Punchbowl…
 

GOP Will Confirm Loretta Lynch For A.G. Just As Soon We Outlaw Abortion Some More

Good job, asshole
Poor Attorney General Eric Holder has been trying to quit his job since September. And you’d think, given the way Republicans hate his intestines and all his other parts too and want to impeach him for seizing all our guns, not disbanding the IRS, homo-lovin’, and blacking while black, they’d be eager to see him leave. But no, they are committed to making him attorney general for life, by refusing to hold a vote to confirm the president’s replacement nominee, Loretta Lynch. Why? Is Lynch worse than Holder? Nah, Senate Republicans have already agreed she’s fine enough, they guess, and they’d like to confirm her, no really. Maybe they’re even sorry she’s had to wait longer for confirmation than the previous seven AG nominees combined. So what’s the hold up? Payback, bitches: Read more on GOP Will Confirm Loretta Lynch For A.G. Just As Soon We Outlaw Abortion Some More…
  Let's gossip about the week that was!

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Drink Mimosas And Judge People

It's the best day of the week!
Hola, Wonkers, we hope that your Sunday is treating you well. Pull up a chair, for we must now gossip about all the hilarious and CONTROVERSIAL stories that you clicked on the most this week! We thought you would all be super-excited about Marco Rubio running for president, but none of those stories made the top 10, :(. Guess Rubio will never be president now. Also never being President? Hillary Clinton, because none of her stories made the top 10 either! It’s all yours, Rand Paul! Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Drink Mimosas And Judge People…
  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Will Murder The ATF And Its Jackbooted Thugs

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
Emboldened by last week’s victory for the rights of gun-humpers to be able to ALSO be able to hump bullets, Field Marshall Sarah Palin presses forward. She has offered the Kenyan tyrant Obama clear and simple terms: abolish the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF), and we will spare you our screeching. And, instead of listening to her, the Kenyan tyrant sits alone in his empty palace, a place that collaborators and the weak-willed still call the White House, and he does NOTHING. Read more on The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin Will Murder The ATF And Its Jackbooted Thugs…
  Tell us what you really think

Harry Reid Talking So Much Sh*t About Everybody Now, Does Not Give A Flying F*ck

Go on some more please!
Sen. Harry Reid (D-Boxing Ring) has rarely shied away from using his smack-talking Stern Words to smack-talk, sternly, but now that he is officially retiring at the end of this term, he really does NOT give an aerodynamic fuck at a mobile pastry. Read more on Harry Reid Talking So Much Sh*t About Everybody Now, Does Not Give A Flying F*ck…
  What happens at your retirement party stays at your retirement party

Harry Reid Invited To Celebrate Retirement With Hookers, Will Have To Bring His Own Blow

Sen. Harry 'The Stud' Reid
Go for it, Harry. Go out with a bang: A brothel in Nevada has offered to host U.S. Senate Democratic leader Harry Reid’s retirement party to thank him for efforts during his more than three decades in the U.S. Congress it says have “positively affected” the lives of legal sex workers in the state. Read more on Harry Reid Invited To Celebrate Retirement With Hookers, Will Have To Bring His Own Blow…
  konspiracy korner

What Really Happened To Harry Reid? The Wingnut Theories Might Not Surprise You!

Time to retire, old man.
A friend of mine was in Las Vegas a week or two ago. He talked to a number of people there about Reid’s accident, and didn’t find anyone who believed the elastic exercise band story. The common assumption was that the incident resulted, in some fashion, from Reid’s relationship with organized crime. The principal rumor my friend heard was that Reid had promised to obtain some benefit for a group of mobsters. He met with them on New Year’s Day, and broke the bad news that he hadn’t been able to deliver what he promised. When the mobsters complained, Reid (according to the rumor) made a comment that they considered disrespectful, and one of them beat him up. – John Hinderaker, Powerline blog Read more on What Really Happened To Harry Reid? The Wingnut Theories Might Not Surprise You!…
  so long farewell

Harry Reid Retiring To Let Someone Else Lead Senate Democrats To Defeat For A Change

Sooooooooo mean!
After insisting that he would absolutely seek re-election in 2016, Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid released a video and statement reminding us, in case we’d forgotten, that he used to be an amateur boxer — oh, and also, he will not seek re-election after all. Read more on Harry Reid Retiring To Let Someone Else Lead Senate Democrats To Defeat For A Change…
  that'll show 'em

Republicans To Make Eric Holder Attorney General For Life To Teach Democrats A Lesson

They just can't seem to quit him
Aren’t Republicans supposed to hate Attorney General Eric Holder with every molecule of their rotten beings because of how he has done all that race warring and fast-and-furiousing and being black while being black? Yes, that’s what we thought too. But even though Holder has been trying to quit his job, Senate Republicans just won’t let him. Those guys are so fickle, aren’t they? Read more on Republicans To Make Eric Holder Attorney General For Life To Teach Democrats A Lesson…
  Cloture? I barely know her

Mitch McConnell’s Plan To Woo Democrats With Insults Not Working. Huh.

Hmm, being Majority Leader is not going the way Mitch McConnell dreamed it would...
Yesterday in the long-running, apparently-never-gonna-close national production of Our Senate Sucks (now in its 226th year!), Mitch McConnell continued to be the worst lead since Styles Bridges had the entire place fumigated for gay cooties. With the bipartisan bill to fight human trafficking stalled over the GOP’s inclusion of irrelevant anti-abortion language, the Turtle suggested that for Democrats, “surely no left-wing special interest group is more important than fighting modern-day slavery.” Read more on Mitch McConnell’s Plan To Woo Democrats With Insults Not Working. Huh….
  Leadership is so. hard.

Senate Republicans Sneak Abortion Stuff Into Human Trafficking Bill, Why Not?

yup, burn it
This week, the Senate tried to do something unusual — they tried to tee up a piece of bipartisan legislation called the Justice For Victims of Human Trafficking Act. Because who could be against that? Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) had hoped to bring the bill to the floor to smooth over the bad feelings he caused when he hinted last week that the Senate was going to vote on a bill to let the Senate be President of Everything Related to Iran. Democrats threatened to filibuster, so McConnell, already sick of being filibustered and embarrassed by Democrats, decided to cut his losses and bring up the bipartisan human trafficking bill instead. That would have been lovely, if it hadn’t imploded. Leadership is so hard, you guys. Read more on Senate Republicans Sneak Abortion Stuff Into Human Trafficking Bill, Why Not?…
  D'Whatever

Dinesh D’Souza Whines About ‘Lawless’ Obama Administration, From Jail

D’Felon Dinesh D’Souza, who makes “films” and writes “books” and pleads “guilty” to breaking “laws” and is still some kind of tea party hero for reasons we will never understand, used his yard time this week to ramble on about Obama this and that boo hoo. He appeared via Skype — because he is in a San Diego jail-type halfway house “community confinement center” for people who commit crimes but have enough money to hire real good lawyers so they only go to pretend prison, which is unfair to D’Souza … somehow, who knows? He is a whiny crybaby and also a felon. Read more on Dinesh D’Souza Whines About ‘Lawless’ Obama Administration, From Jail…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Here’s Rachel Saying ‘Shtupping.’ Also, Maybe A Murder At Gitmo?

Shtup Making Sense
Rachel Maddow leads into this developing story about the firing of the head of the Navy’s base at Guantanamo Bay with a quick overview of the David Petraeus affair, noting that Petraeus lost his job as CIA director only after an investigation into what seemed an unrelated matter, and also noting that we still don’t know whether Petraeus “will be criminally charged with disclosing classified information to the woman he was shtupping while he was head of the CIA.” We think that usage might be a first for cable news, but some smartass with Nexis/Lexis will probably correct us. Read more on Morning Maddow: Here’s Rachel Saying ‘Shtupping.’ Also, Maybe A Murder At Gitmo?…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Rachel Watches The Joe Biden Senate Show, Because We Forgot To

There were too many 'manic Rachel' images to choose from today
Congress is back in session, and Rachel Maddow couldn’t be more delighted with the first-day weirdness. There’s Joe Biden being the most Joe Biden he ever gets, greeting the new Senate and swearing everybody in. While there was no Ted Cruz’s Jerk Baby this term, Joe did say some completely incomprehensible stuff, and also accidentally spat out the remnants of a mint while talking. Everyone was just adorable. Read more on Morning Maddow: Rachel Watches The Joe Biden Senate Show, Because We Forgot To…
  Hey Wonkett Seems Everything Is Funny To You

Harry Reid May Never Play Guitar Again

We'd watch this, maybe.
Aftermath of Reid’s 2011 exercise mishap, by CQ Roll Call. Soon to be a major motion picture. Sen. Harry Reid broke his ribs and face during what his office is calling an unfortunate workout accident on New Year’s Day: Read more on Harry Reid May Never Play Guitar Again…
  Meet your new surgeon general -- finally

Senate Confirms Surgeon General Even Though He Thinks Murder Is Bad For Children

We start seizing all the guns now, right?
In a stunning and unusual act of doing their job, senators finally confirmed Dr. Vivek Murthy for surgeon general, a position that has remained vacant for more than a year because it’s not like that’s one of those important jobs. Unless, of course, there’s an outbreak of Ebola — or at least an outbreak of Ebola paranoia — in which case, it’s kind of handy to have some dude or dudette already on the payroll, ready and able to explain some basic healthcare stuff to Americans like they’re idiots, which they are, so you don’t have to scramble to appoint someone Czar Of Calming Down Idiot Americans Over Ebolamania. Read more on Senate Confirms Surgeon General Even Though He Thinks Murder Is Bad For Children…
  Every Ted Pat And Harry

Pat Robertson Wishes Ted Cruz Would Settle Down And Be Sensible Like Pat Robertson

Pat Robertson doesn't like these sneaky 'confirming appointees' shenanigans
So here’s more fallout from the maneuvering on the Big Budget Bill this weekend: After Ted Cruz’s diddling with Senate rules opened the door for some of Barack Obama’s appointees to be confirmed, televangelist Pat Robertson decided that he doesn’t like this Ted Cruz fellow’s radicalism, not one little bit. Yes, kids, Ted Cruz is a bit way out for the guy who claims he can steer hurricanes. Read more on Pat Robertson Wishes Ted Cruz Would Settle Down And Be Sensible Like Pat Robertson…
  Here have some news n stuff

Mean Harry Reid Might Make Senators Do Some Work In December

Sooooooooo mean!
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is one mean grinch. Because the Senate, as well as the House of Representatives, has been so busy not working all year, Reid’s threatening to murder Christmas vacation, which for most Americans is maybe a day or two, but for the lazy sacks of lazy in Congress is usually about three weeks. Read more on Mean Harry Reid Might Make Senators Do Some Work In December…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: WTF, Senate Democrats, Part Deux (Video)

Best jazz hands in the business
Rachel Maddow brings us this lovely follow-up to her Tuesday-night WTF at Senate Democrats’ decision to just give up on confirming Loretta Lynch as attorney general. Get ready for more WTF: The Senate isn’t apparently going to confirm any of the 160 Obama nominees, but as a special favor to Louisiana’s Sen. Mary Landrieu, it will schedule a vote on the Keystone XL pipeline, which will of course not actually help Landrieu win her Dec. 6 run-off against Bill Cassidy, because why would oil-lovers go for Landrieu when they can have the guy who actually sponsored the thing in the House? Maybe Senate Democrats are thinking of the upside? Passing the Keystone XL may not really help Landreiu, Maddow, notes, but hey, it will Read more on Morning Maddow: WTF, Senate Democrats, Part Deux (Video)…
  New plan

Democrats Have Great Exciting New Idea: Being Democrats

Here, Dems, is your new business model
Photo by Tim Pierce Here’s an idea that’s so crazy, it just might work! After the thorough ass-kicking the Democratic Party suffered on Election Day, some Democrats are considering the possibility that maybe running “Democratic” candidates who are embarrassed to be Democrats is not the best way to appeal to the Democratic Party. Crazy, huh? With candidates refusing to support Obamacare, refusing to support Democratic policies, refusing to even say “Hell, yes, I voted for Barack Obama because I am a Democrat, DUH,” the new minority is thinking maybe it’s time to get back to being Democrats. Read more on Democrats Have Great Exciting New Idea: Being Democrats…