Tag Archives: hardball

  he has heard the mermen singing

Ben Shapiro Saw Chris Matthews And Barack On Teevee, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Media Watchdog Ben Shapiro saw something nasty on the teevee. He did not like it. No sir, he did not like it one bit. He did not like Chris Matthews’ interview with Barack Obama one single itty-bitty bit. As the interview aired, Shapiro tweeted, A new television show asks the question: how close can platonic male love get without spilling over into sexuality? It’s called #Hardball. And then he wrote it all up for Breitbart, with the headline “Date Night: Matthews Throws Softballs to Obama” — get it? Balls! Just like the title of the show, only soft! Reading between the lines, we almost think that Shapiro is suggesting that Chris Matthews and Barry Bamz are gay homosexuals who are in Big Gay Love with each other and will make gay sex soon. Or perhaps we’re overthinking it. Read more on Ben Shapiro Saw Chris Matthews And Barack On Teevee, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…
  neo-black people

This Is Not The Chris Matthews Clip We Wanted But It Will Work

When Chris Matthews forgot that Barack Obama was Kenyan for an hour, we remembered that Chris Matthews was insane, his whole life, back to the zygote stage. (“LEMME OUT, CHRIST ALMIGHTY…”) So here’s to more daily Tweety hilarity from now on. Operative “Tom S,” for one, caught this last night: “At about 1 minute before Hardball ended tonight, Tweety was discussing with his guests Obama at the Republican retreat the other day. He compared it ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ in which – and I quote – ‘the guy’s tied down by all the midgets.'” Unfortunately we could not procure this clip, so here’s some other one. [YouTube] Read more on This Is Not The Chris Matthews Clip We Wanted But It Will Work…
  people watch cable news for information

Whoa Hey, Dick Cheney Guest-Hosted ‘Hardball’

Chris Matthews, he’s goin’ nuts. Meh. Most of the “issues” on this laundry list are trivial, gossipy tabloid fodder. The only Serious policy item would have to be, in Tweety’s words, “Why DID he bow to that Japanese emperor?” It’s unclear which of the Japanese emperors he’s referring to. [YouTube] Read more on Whoa Hey, Dick Cheney Guest-Hosted ‘Hardball’…
  tweety

Chris Matthews Explains ‘Oh God’ Comment: It Looked Like A Plantation

Chris Matthews is such a patriot for making America laugh last night before the speech from Bobby Jindal, his Enemy. After ranting about how much he hates Jindal earlier in the night, he “whispered” a comically audible “oh god” as Jindal was walking towards his podium. Chris Matthews is famous for coming from working-class Pennsylvania, so the best rationale for his hatred is probably nativism, especially towards Indians, who sneak into the country to steal medical doctor jobs from the poorest Americans. Nevertheless, Matthews plans to address the “slip” on Hardball tonight (or is it already on? We don’t watch cable news), and an NBC spokesman has offered a quick preview. His explanation centers on some stupid, nonsensical slavery jokes we made last night while mindlessly liveblogging — but he is serious! Read more on Chris Matthews Explains ‘Oh God’ Comment: It Looked Like A Plantation…
  america' flourishing stimulus debate

Lindsey Graham, Barbara Boxer Hold Slap Fight On Senate Floor

Here’s a clip from the popular Hardball “Sideshow” segment — the part that covers the exact same stuff as the rest of the show but is tagged, arbitrarily, as being super wacky! — in which Lindsey Graham gets really gay about The Stimulus Package, because it doesn’t give Mother any funds with which to buy him a pony. Barbara Boxer shouts “GEORGE BUSH” just to shut him up, and Graham laments that no one ever buys him nice things. [YouTube] Read more on Lindsey Graham, Barbara Boxer Hold Slap Fight On Senate Floor…
  drink-soaked former trotskyist popinjays

Christopher Hitchens Is Funny When He Talks About The Clintons

TPM’s excited about this clip, claiming that Salon’s Joan Walsh lays a “smackdown” on Christopher Hitchens… we don’t really see that? It’s just the drunk anger troll pissing off the nice lady. Ha ha, it is amazing how much Christopher Hitchens hates the Clintons. He hates them more than Andrew Sullivan does. Here’s the full clip, in which Christopher Hitchens mentions at least 500 other foreign business ties of the Clintons, and Joan Walsh occasionally chimes in to say “Christopher how could you say that!” [TPM, MSNBC] Read more on Christopher Hitchens Is Funny When He Talks About The Clintons…
  he hates henry kissinger so much

Christopher Hitchens Doesn’t Like Clinton For SecState

Necktie-free boozebag Christopher Hitchens does not like the idea of Hillary Clinton getting her grubby little paws all over America’s foreign policy. Meanwhile, Peter Beinart just shouts and shouts. Why so shouty, Peter? Be sure to watch till the end, when Hitchens’ hair wanders off his scalp and crawls away looking for a cheeseburger. [MSNBC] Read more on Christopher Hitchens Doesn’t Like Clinton For SecState…
  in the tank

It’s Chris Matthews, Being Weird, On Late Night TV

Oh look it is your MSNBC friend Chris Matthews, with that dude Craig Ferguson who is very funny but we are asleep (drunk) by then. Matthews is talking about what it felt like to rape Michele Bachmann to death. “Squishy,” he says. “Precious bodily fluids.” Yuck. [Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson] Read more on It’s Chris Matthews, Being Weird, On Late Night TV…
  department of corrections

Chuck Todd Takes It All Back, Everything Is Awesome In McCain Campaign

Charming hairfaced news-geek Lothario Chuck Todd said all sorts of amazing things on Hardball last night about how John McCain and Sarah Palin appear to despise each other, and how their campaign staff are all tired and annoyed and full of hate for the world, and so on. It was wondrously candid! (Chuck Todd is in the tank, obviously.) Of course this morning the blog he co-authors had to run an unattributed sort-of retraction. Full text after the jump. Read more on Chuck Todd Takes It All Back, Everything Is Awesome In McCain Campaign…
  in what respect charlie?

Can the McCain Campaign Explain Palin’s Bizarre Veep Ideas? (No)

This is painful: Chris Matthews spends nine minutes trying to get a straight answer out of McCain spokeslady Nancy Pfotenhauer — she of “Real Virginia” fame. And Nancy makes a fool of herself, because the only other option is to say, “Yes, Chris, for fuck’s sake, we all know Palin’s an idiot, so can we move on? Is it Election Day yet? Can I have my cocktail now?” [YouTube/DailyKos] Read more on Can the McCain Campaign Explain Palin’s Bizarre Veep Ideas? (No)…
  damage control

Michele Bachmann Says She ‘Never Questioned Barack Obama’s Patriotism’

The proudly ignorant baby farmer and bold anti-flourescent light crusader Michele Bachmann, Congresswoman from Minnesota, has been horribly victimized by the liberal left-wing anti-American attack machine. All these crazy leftists have been watching this Hardball interview she gave last week and reading the transcript of the interview, and, based on this publicly accessible and quickly verifiable information, reaching easily supportable conclusions! Well she’s had about enough of this nonsense. Read more on Michele Bachmann Says She ‘Never Questioned Barack Obama’s Patriotism’…
  dinguses

Michele Bachmann Rightfully Concerned About Liberals Hating America

Here’s your video of wacky Michele Bachmann on the Chris Matthews show, talkin’ bout libruls. Barack Obama is anti-American! Nancy Pelosi! Harry Reid! All liberal anti-Americans and yet they are RUNNING AMERICA. Not good! Not a good situation at all. Around 6:30 in this seven-minute clip is when she suggests the media perform a Witch Hunt to determine which members of Congress are “pro-America” and “anti-America.” [YouTube] Read more on Michele Bachmann Rightfully Concerned About Liberals Hating America…
 

Biggest Moron On Earth Makes For Delicious ‘Hardball’ Comedy

We have seen some “chatter” about the second-straight brilliant episode of Hardball today, and hot damn, this is some seven-diamond comedy here. Matthews is interviewing Republican radio host “Kevin James,” who screams in some white-trash voice about Obama being an appeaser for a couple minutes, before — around 4:00 into the clip — Matthews annihilates him, calls him “pathetic,” says “you don’t know anything,” and does this for several minutes. Nice work. Do it again tomorrow! [MSNBC] Read more on Biggest Moron On Earth Makes For Delicious ‘Hardball’ Comedy…
 

Steve Doocy’s Son Still Not As Terrible As Steve Doocy

Last night John McCain appeared on Chris Matthews’ Hardball “College Tour,” live from Pennsylvania’s Villanova University. And who asks the second Student Question but Peter Doocy, and it is about doing shots of whiskey, and he’s the personification of Frat, and he’s the son of Fox & Friends co-anchor Steve Doocy — quite possibly the biggest (yet most harmless) douche on Fox News. They are the same person, except one of them has a national teevee show. The clip is below! Read more on Steve Doocy’s Son Still Not As Terrible As Steve Doocy…
 

*AWW, SAD TWEETY:* Chris Matthews opened Hardball today with a long explanation/apology about his kinda sexist comments against Hillary Clinton. Check out the video and transcript on Media Matters — the “WHOA” at the end, that’s priceless. And speaking of Media Matters, screw those guys. They quoted us on their just-as-longwinded, just-as-worthless manifesto against Chris Matthews earlier today. We enjoy making fun of this puerile douchemongerer nearly as much as Mike Huckabee enjoys a good thoroughbred in the sack. But an earnest movement against this Aspies flapmouth? Please, spare us. [Media Matters] Read more on …