This city is full of movers and shakers, people also commonly referred to as cheaters, liars, and closeted gays. They have their little hangouts, notably the den of semen and the entire length of K Street, but their special lairs also include places where food is consumed. Old Ebbit Grill is once such restaurant that these folks frequent with their half-naked, but always super duper smart, clients to talk politics and god knows what else. MORE »

Well crap. Somehow it’s almost the end of July. This is when you start thinking, “what the hell have I been doing with my summer?” DON’T LET YOUR SUMMER GO TO WASTE. Our political leaders have traveled, had affairs, and resigned; stars have died; Iran blew up; Honduras went all crazy. You deserve to have just as fulfilling and scandalous a summer as the rest of the world. MORE »

Happy Hours exist for one reason: your day at work sucked, you can’t face going home yet, and you need some sort of strong alcoholic beverage to bring you back to life. (Interns, this doesn’t include you — your summer work experience is supposed to be meaningless). Restaurant gods, recognizing the glory that is employment, lovingly provide alcohol at discounted prices right after work … and then jack up their prices when you want dinner. But some benevolent restaurants revisit the Happy Hour at 9PM. MORE »

Don’t worry, we’re not asking anyone to reevaluate the presence of alcohol in their life, nor are we insinuating that there are better means to post-work happiness than drinking. Happy hours are essential to the DC way of life and we would never pass judgment on such a meaningful occasion. You have our word. Some grocery stores and shops, however, are noticing the pleasure DCers derive from happy hours, and are using the term to signify evening discounts on their products. Has our beloved activity been co-opted? MORE »

Georgetown — home of the cocktail-party-lovin’ metro-hatin’ DC elite — is not the easiest neighborhood in which to relax. But Pizzeria Paradiso, winner of a gajillion best-of-DC awards, is a refuge. MORE »

* Who hasn’t wondered what goes on inside the elusive McFadden’s? An outsider tells the grim tale: “Again, bumping and grinding on a bar is a personal choice, and I do not begrudge these women the opportunity to do whatever makes them happy. Just because it’s not for me, doesn’t mean it’s wrong or bad.” [hey pretty]
* Can’t find the single men in Washington? Try Chipotle or New York. [Good at Drinking, Bad at Life]
* Baltimore residents get $2,000 for buying a home near their place of employment. [urban trekker]
* Local blogger happy hour tomorrow night at The Front Page. Don’t go unless you are prepared to discuss the confusing, Wheel of Fortune-esque Best DC Blog. [ArJewTino]
* Farmer’s market possibly coming to R Street between 1st and Florida. [In Shaw]

* Arms Control Happy Hour at the Big Hunt, “Come debate the finer points of military robotics, nuclear proliferation, and Irish whiskey with us,” 5PM. [Defense Tech]
* Your task is to persuade the arms control nerds to move along to this Dark Odyssey Happy Hour at the Dupont Italian Kitchen, “for the sex positive BDSM, Spiritual and Lifestyle communities.” 6:30PM. [Dark Odyssey]
* National Press Club Panel: “The Future of the Free Press: Should Journalists Be Able to Use Confidential Sources and Seek Secret Information?” with newspaper men, Nina Totenberg, some LLPs and Judge Stanley Sporkin. Free at 7PM. [Olsson's]

• Sifting through the photos of erect penises in Casual Encounters, you find the occasional request so appealing you know it will end in murder: “Let’s drink a little too much and hang out watching tv tonight.” [Craigslist]

• From the use of the term “regular guys” we’ve deduced that this was written by a journalist. “Can I blow you? - m4m - 46…I especially like to suck on married, bi, straight, blue collar, regular guys. I am always looking to suck.” [Craigslist]
• “Road Head - m4w…I drive a luxury vehicle.” [Craigslist]
• Lovers’ Happy Hour tonight at Cafe Citron hosted by DC Bachelor and Circle V. You know, the “I pump and I dump” guy and the girl who “never makes drama.” See you there. [DC Bachelor]
• MLB plans to make caskets and urns for all 30 teams. [Just a Nats Fan]

In what might be the single most unlikely tip we’ve ever received, it turns out that working for the White House Council of Economic Advisers is actually fun: MORE »

An excerpt from Tom DeLay’s crazy (but highly entertaining) fuck-you speech yesterday afternoon: MORE »

* Try as hard as you can to conquer your whiteness. Wu-Tang Clan (who, we hear, are nothing to fuck with), on the O.D.B. tribute tour, perform at the 9:30 Club. [9:30 Club]
* Go hit on an environmentalist at the Sierra Club’s Second Monday Valentine Happy Hour. Feel free to demand that whomever your flirting with write their contact information on a clipboard. [Upcoming]
* Go sledding before it all melts, fer chrissakes. And keep in mind that the only way to recapture that youthful spirit once you’re an adult is to get smashed first. It also loosens you up when you crash. [Rock Creek Park]