HATS OFF to esteemed thing Parade for this sexy clip art collage of a mall Santa preparing to bone claymation Rudolph who is stepping on Bill O’Reilly as black people do their black African holiday whatevers in the background. The Jew Cookies see it all. This masterpiece, folks, accompanies “Bill O’Reilly’s Great American Holiday Quiz,” because suddenly you’re NOT ALLOWED to say “Merry Christmas” anymore, in America, because of the Prop 8 protesters. MORE »

OK everyone, Wonkette is taking the rest of the afternoon off, so you’re free to stop reloading our homepage and go shopping for Christmas or the Jewish thing. (Unless, of course, you went to J.C. Penney at 4 a.m. and are already done.) Just remember: You can buy that Nintendo Wii for your child, or you can buy 20 phones for John McCain. WWJD?

* Matt Damon wants to do things to Dick Cheney that Jason Bourne hasn’t even heard of. News Busters]
* James Baker grabs ass and ankles for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, hilarious historically poignant metaphor ensues. [YouTube]
* Macaca: man of the year. [Salon]
* Soldiers choose John Kerry’s wind-bagging over peeling potatoes, learn hard lesson about regret. [Blackfive]
* Iraq:Afghanistan::War on Christmas:War on Hanukkah. [Radosh]
* Ari Fleischer wants to be a congressman. [Political Wire]
* Damn the man! Save the interwebz! [YouTube]

* “George Jr.” was too cool for Christmas cards long before he was too cool for facing political realities. [Daily Kos]
* The Inconvenient Truth parties taking place nationwide this weekend are a Godsend for those too nerdy to attend “ugly Christmas sweater” themed parties. [Washington Wire]
* OPEC celebrates Hanukkah by cutting oil production, “have eight crazy nights paying more for gas, bitches.” [Freakonomics]
* Exciting conspiracy theorists everywhere, the 2008 Presidential election could be decided by a Jewish billionaire midget. [Political Insider]
* But that’s fine, Americans are more tolerant than ever — unless a candidate has worked for the Bush administration. Then they’re fucked. [Political Wire]
* Fox News wants viewers to know that Tom DeLay isn’t a has-been Congressmen, but an Exxxtreme! to the max conservative force. [C&L]
* “Americans fat, lonely, frequently injured by bikes.” [MoJo Blog]