After centuries of entrapment in a vaguely humanoid husk, the alien mutant Alan Colmes was finally permitted to slither out through a nostril and return to the elvin sewers from which he was fished so long ago. This left Sean Hannity in a pickle, because he still needed somebody to abuse every night on his television show. MORE »

On Sunday’s edition of Hannity and Colmes, Alan Colmes and some guests, including “former homicide detective” Rod Wheeler, discussed a minor controversy surrounding Arizona police reports that prematurely label suspects as “Hispanic.” Wheeler can look beyond all this cutesy bullshit, however, and shows Colmes what his “liberal” mind can’t understand: This wasn’t some squint, it was a taco taco Mexican! But he’s black so I guess he can say it. [via ThinkProgress]

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• Kathleen Parker recalls a high school book report and undergoes a severe mental paroxysm during which she realizes that if it weren’t for narcissists like her, bloggers would have piloted the planet into the sun by now. MORE »