Well, Barack Obama has failed again. The so-called president isn’t quite as popular as Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger and Partially-African-American Nike model Tiger Woods combined, according to an idiotic new study which also revealed that 5% of Americans want to meet and have their topless picture taken with teevee’s Hannah Montana. MORE »

The biggest news story in the world is, of course, about some little ‘tween girl from Disney TeeVee who was forced to pose for naked photographs by an old lesbian photographer for Vanity Fair. This is very shameful, how Conde Nast let its magazine be used for half-nekkid pictures of an entertainer who is a girl child. The little girl only made $100 million dollars for having to be the star of Hannah Montana, which is the story of “Achey Breaky Heart” sensation Billy Ray Cyrus and his secret daughter who wants to be on teevee. The question is, which presidential candidate was more of a lech to the innocent little child, Obama or McCain? MORE »

Minnesota’s legislature thinks it’s the bee’s knees these days because it is the first state legislature to pass what is known as a “Hannah Montana bill” in Insider Parlance. The bill — named after potentially whorish “tween-age pop TV icon” Miley Cyrus’ Disney channel character — bans software that enables “vendors to grab up blocks of tickets before much of the public can” and then sell them back online for hundreds of millions of dollars. Apparently many, many people wanted to see this underage gal lip-sync some songs last year but could not. MORE »

During last night’s Country Music Television awards ceremony they showed this graphic, disturbing video of teevee’s Hannah Montana, as portrayed by Miley Cyrus, flirting sexually with John McCain and Barack Obama. John McCain wants tickets to the awards show, but he can’t afford them (because of the FEC)! Barack Obama offers her the Secretary of the Treasury job when he never becomes president. She responds with, “Call me, Harold.” At least some of these facts are true, and the video is below. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Roll Call auf’d some old trends…Sen. Richard Burr finds some love in the animal kingdom and, consequently, on Facebook…Feel free to blow the whistle at rumor-mill.org…Rep. David Hobson finally got his gas station. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Ridley Scott is bringing the Reykjavik Summit to the silver screen…Sen. John Sununu saved by Al Hunt. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Last chance to get tickets for the Miley Cyrus!!!…Viggo Mortensen still throwing his star power behind Dennis Kucinich…The California Nurses Association wants universal “CheneyCare.” [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: REM’s Michael Stipe has got a thing for Mike Huckabee, seeks Gen-X author to make sense of it all. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Ed Rollins is a potty-mouth. [WP]
* Page Six: Andrew Stein and Ann Coulter call it quits. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Rudy Giuliani is kind of an angry guy. [NYDN]
* Fishbowl DC: Journalists have groupies, too…Wolf Blitzer talks beard…The Simpsons takes a hit at the Washington Post and their dying medium. [Media Bistro]