hank paulson
In a calculated move designed to insult America, Senator Chris Dodd has signed a book deal. His book will be out in June. Not that he’s actually penning a single word of it — it is “By Sen. Christopher J. Dodd with [random writing slave]” — but c’mon Dodd, save the heroic legislative deal-cutting memoir [...]
Here’s the main image on the RNC’s website: a calendar of George W. Bush, his wife Laura, and their little pooches. They are for sale of course! But no one will ever buy them after today, since George W. Bush decided to take $17.4 billion worth of existing funds from Hank Paulson — who likely [...]
Money-printing liquidity trapper Ben Bernanke has been a Local Loser in recent months after rapidly cutting the federal funds rate to negative 1,000% to no effect whatsoever, except national embarrassment. He’s had to print Master Paulson’s money, alone, every night, as punishment. He is not allowed to shave. But as Paulson and his flack Neel [...]
The Dow Jones fell 679 points today, since it’s been a full six days since Paulson last introduced a new multi-hundred billion dollar loan or loan guarantee program, and everyone on Wall Street is a child: “The day’s news reminded investors, who last week were buying on a burst of optimism, that the economy is [...]
Whoa hey… whoa… what the hell? “The United States government unveiled $800 billion worth of new loans and debt purchases on Tuesday, hoping another massive infusion of cash would smooth troubled credit markets and make borrowing easier for homebuyers, small businesses and students.” Ha ha, it’s like the original TARP, but for consumers and eggheads [...]
Sexy Neel Kashkari, the 35-year-old former Goldman Sachs investor Hank Paulson selected to run the so-far embarrassing $700 billion bailout program, went before a House committee today to be brutally excoriated, roasted on a spit, and then sodomized by the giddy Elf King Dennis Kucinich and his snarling band of blood monsters. The highlight, and [...]
Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson announced a major shift today in the Troubled Asset Release Program (TARP!) — or, as the kids call it, “n00bama bailout $ocialism” — and we do not necessarily know to what the shift is. We know from what Hanky is shifting away, though, and that is the plan to buy toxic [...]
Whoa what is going on here, the wacky bailout bill has somehow passed in the House of Representatives by two million votes, 263-171. Take that, uh, China!…?? Many House Republicans switched from “no” to “yes” because they thought they were voting on a measure legalizing gay sex with pages. Now the bill will be driven [...]
Last night the White House & Friends finalized Paulson’s $700 billion bailout plan. It’s a lot better than the original version, because both sides made Important Sacrifices. [Wall Street Journal] Oh hooray, the House is voting today on Paulson’s Famous Bailout Plan, with the Senate voting maybe as soon as Wednesday, and people for the [...]
