Tag Archives: handouts

  our moocher class

John Stossel Explains That War On Poverty Failed Because Ladies Want Too Much Free Stuff

Impacted bowel John Stossel dropped by the set of Fox & Friends yesterday to drop a little truth on hosts Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Steve Doocy, and whatshisname, the guy who is always squinting in puzzlement like he’s losing a battle of wits with a doorknob. Stossel was there to talk about the 50th anniversary of the War on Poverty and how it has backfired by making all the ladies want to stay single because having a man in the house means smaller welfare handouts from the government. This is good news for those of you who are tired of going to family gatherings and answering the question, “When are you going to get married?” Now you can respond with Never Grandma, because getting married means I’ll have to stop suckling at the government teat and I want to keep my sweet, sweet welfare checks that are paid for by taking money away from society’s makers like John Stossel. Read more on John Stossel Explains That War On Poverty Failed Because Ladies Want Too Much Free Stuff… Read more on John Stossel Explains That War On Poverty Failed Because Ladies Want Too Much Free Stuff…
  better than rush limbaugh still?

Ann Coulter And Sean Hannity Jump On The Latino Moocher Train

AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT THE ELECTION! (This will be your life for the next few days, get used to it.) Here are Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity, giving us THEIR opinions about why the GOP got their ass handed to them on Tuesday, and you will never guess what they have to say. Or maybe you will, because SHOCKER, this is all the fault of the Latinos who want handouts. (Yes, THOSE Latinos, the same ones that the GOP is frantically trying to reach by parading Marco Rubio around.) Also, the fact that Obama is an incumbent president? THAT’s what made it difficult to pry him out of the White House. Romney was a “strong candidate,” but not quite strong enough to unseat an incumbent, because that NEVER happens. (Except to Jimmy Carter and GHW Bush, but never mind that.) See, the country is changing, says Hannity. And it’s changing into a group of people attracted to the “allure of ‘free.'” Read more on Ann Coulter And Sean Hannity Jump On The Latino Moocher Train…
  real america

Real Americans: It’s Those Other People Taking Government Handouts Who Are The Problem

What are the latte-drinking liberals at NPR up to these days? Oh, just driving around in Real America trying to find out how Real Americans feel about the election. What are Real Americans thinking? What are their concerns? What do they want in a candidate? This is shocking but apparently Real Americans are thinking that America is turning into a “socialistic” paradise and are concerned that too many people are taking “handouts” so they will vote for Romney because he is going to decrease the size of government in vague and nonspecific ways. Also, it should be noted that  the “government programs” in which Real Americans are themselves enrolled are Different from “handouts” and thus not like socialism at all! See, the real problem is that so many Other People are living off the taxes of Real Americans and not working, or alternatively, acting like rational economic actors and discovering that their unemployment benefits pay more than the jobs available to them and are thus disinterested in looking for work. Read more on Real Americans: It’s Those Other People Taking Government Handouts Who Are The Problem…
  welfare queens living it up

GOP Only Approves ‘Handouts’ If They Go To CPAC Attendees

According to the RNC’s Twitter droppings, handouts and giveaways are actually Patriotic, so long as they are given to wall-eyed fetus fetishists at CPAC and not the 670 million poors currently bankrupting the Federal treasury. Jim Newell, please enjoy your courtesy racist Barack Obama USB dongle! [RNC] Read more on GOP Only Approves ‘Handouts’ If They Go To CPAC Attendees…
 

McCain Campaign Gives Up, Will Accept Welfare

Liberals like John McCain have spent their lives spending your money in Washington, so it’s no surprise that McCain’s campaign has given up its pathetic fund-raising attempts and will now go on the Election 2008 dole. Today, the McCain camp admitted it will “accept taxpayer money to finance his general election and share other costs with the Republican National Committee,” the Politico reports. And guess what kind of no-money-having people Americans hate more than anything? Read more on McCain Campaign Gives Up, Will Accept Welfare…
 

Bill Frist Will Not Be Sending You a Check

Things you shouldn’t get too excited about: First: $100 check from Uncle Sam. Psych! Yeah, it turns out the part where it was funded by taxing the oil industry didn’t sit too well with the oil industry. Who coulda seen that one coming? Seriously, is Frist seeking the Republican nomination by suggesting handouts, new taxes, and out of control spending? If so, we may endorse him. We like out-of-control anything, and we were pretty excited about that $100, especially considering that we don’t own a car. Read more on Bill Frist Will Not Be Sending You a Check…