Tag Archives: hamid karzai

  puts the pain in painting

Darn It W, Quit Being So Adorable With All These Paintings

Did you ever have a dog that sucked? Maybe it was always crashing into stuff like an idiot, and dripping poop all over the house because it ate some awful thing, and nobody could ever train it because it was especially dumb, even in dog terms? Here’s the weird thing about these dogs: even if they inspire near-universal disdain when they’re around, as soon as they’re gone people tend to think of them more fondly. Not everyone is like that. Some people never forgive the endless shitting and crashing. But a lot of people do. Basically, George W. Bush is like the president version of that dog. Around this time last year, he was about as popular as Obama, having gained roughly 20 points since leaving office. Well, get ready for more of that because W appeared on the Today Show with his visually appealing daughter Jenna to show and tell a bunch of new paintings of world leaders, and they’re actually not bad! Goddamnit! Read more on Darn It W, Quit Being So Adorable With All These Paintings…
  check out those beards

Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-The Taliban) Gets No Respect From Afghanistan

“Surfin’ Congressman” Dana Rohrabacher is apparently up to his old tricks, just cold bashin’ Afghanistan and explaining why Hamid Karzai needs to let more warlords help him run their gubmint, and Karzai, he is not pleased by this, and he will not let Rohrabacher into the country! Hey, Ol’ Clown Shoes can’t get no respect! But did you know poor Rohrabacher — much loved in Orange County, California, for being hilariously drunk all the time, including almost sliding from his barstool one night at the same time your editrix had the rare privilege of speaking the never-before uttered words, “Congressman Rohrabacher, this is Jan from the Vandals” — is also a huge Taliban lover and has been writing odes on their beauty forever? Did you know he once said of the Taliban “These gentlemen are the equivalent of America’s founding fathers”? Cause yeah, he totally did that. Read more on Congressman Dana Rohrabacher (R-The Taliban) Gets No Respect From Afghanistan…
  it's morning in america

Billionaire TeeVee Sensation More Popular Than Well-Known Mormon

Tacky hairpiece Donald Trump has a higher teevee/approval rating than Mittens, Tim Pawlenty and John Boehner, according to a new WSJ/NBC poll. Nine percent of those polled had a “very positive” opinion of The Donald, while seventeen percent were “somewhat positive” about having this reality teevee joke run for president, for a combined total of twenty-six percent. If Donald Trump and Sarah Palin run for the Republican nomination, MTV gets to televise the debates — moderated by Charlie Sheen — as specified in the U.S. Constitution. Also: Why does America hate itself? [NBC] Read more on Billionaire TeeVee Sensation More Popular Than Well-Known Mormon… Read more on Billionaire TeeVee Sensation More Popular Than Well-Known Mormon…
  talkin' smack

Whoa: Hamid Karzai Is a Heroin Addict?

Former UN envoy Peter Galbraith just said on MSNBC that Afghanistan’s weirdo president, Hamid Karzai, is a junkie. “He can be very emotional, act impulsively,” Galbraith said on the Andrea Mitchell show. “In fact, some of the palace insiders say that he has a certain fondness for some of Afghanistan’s most profitable exports.” Ha ha, you should’ve seen the look on Chuck Todd’s face. In fact, you can do that, by watching this video clip: Read more on Whoa: Hamid Karzai Is a Heroin Addict?…
  daily briefing

China Holds Up Climate Change Negotiations; Earth Literally Burns

Afghan President Hamid Karzai is furious on the outside, feelings-hurt on the inside that the US and the UN considered just cold replacing him with someone else during the fraudulent election of his own design a few months back. [New York Times] Read more on China Holds Up Climate Change Negotiations; Earth Literally Burns…
  adult education

Steve King Learns Most Things About Afghanistan On Trip

Congress’ #1 asshole, Rep. Steve King, made his first trip to a non-Iowa/DC place on Earth this weekend: Afghanistan. Whoa hey didn’t anyone tell him there was an insane war going on there?? So dangerous. On this four-day “facting-finding” mission, he learned all sorts of crazy facts, too: the President of this particular Muzziestan is named “Muhammed Karzai,” and he is a human! [Media Matters] Read more on Steve King Learns Most Things About Afghanistan On Trip…
  daily briefing

Presenting The Senate’s Compromisey $849 Billion Health Care Bill

Meet Harry Reid & the Senate’s Health Care Bill: $849 billion, 2,074 pages, no insurance for abortions or illegal immigrants, other characteristics, etc. [CNN] Despite really maxing out every copy editor’s patience with the word “contentious,” Hamid Karzai was sworn-in for another five-year term as President of Afghanistan.  [New York Times] Read more on Presenting The Senate’s Compromisey $849 Billion Health Care Bill…
  the war in afghanistan

BLAZING SADDLES IS LIKE OBAMA’S STAR WARS FOREIGN POLICY, YEAH?: So exactly how little power does Obama have over Hamid Karzai?: “‘You know that scene in the movie Blazing Saddles, when Cleavon Little holds the gun to his own head and threatens to shoot himself?’ asked Ronald E. Neumann, a former ambassador to Afghanistan.” [New York Times] Read more on …
  daily briefing

Nidal Hasan’s Colleagues Were Cool With His Islam, Which, By The Transitive Property, Is Very Significant

Obama is just pretending to have any sway within the Obama/Hamid Karzai powercouple. [New York Times] A bunch of people in the Army were very encouraging of Nidal Hasan’s religious phase, and some even suggested he take college courses about Islam. Should we purge the Army of anyone who self-identifies as a “supportive friend” too?? [Washington Post] Read more on Nidal Hasan’s Colleagues Were Cool With His Islam, Which, By The Transitive Property, Is Very Significant…
  daily briefing

Everything About Death And Violence And Then One Thing About Jay-Z

Total body count was 13—with another 30 injured—at Ft. Hood yesterday. The gunman survived after being shot four times. [New York Times] Speaking of the gunman, Army psychiatrist,  Maj. Nidal M. Hasan, here is a lengthy biographical portrait. [Washington Post] Read more on Everything About Death And Violence And Then One Thing About Jay-Z…
  daily briefing

Election Day For Some Means No-Work-Day For All*! (*Re: Some)

Happy Election Day! Today Chris Christie could lose more than just weight, though really, he could lose some weight. [New York Times] Political capital, political capital Obama Corzine political politics-word capital. [AP] Read more on Election Day For Some Means No-Work-Day For All*! (*Re: Some)…
  daily briefing

Hamid Karzai Is Declared President—But Was He Even Born In America??

After very possibly receiving fewer votes than his opponent, Hamid Karzai has won the presidential election of Afghanistan! [New York Times] Ford earned $1 billion in the third quarter and people are now thinking the company could be profitable by 2011. [Washington Post] Read more on Hamid Karzai Is Declared President—But Was He Even Born In America??…
  daily briefing

Please No One Do A ‘Hilarious Topical Political Costume’ And Dress Up As Hamid Karzai’s CIA-Informant Brother

Hamid Karzai’s brother, a prominent opium dealer (!), has been receiving CIA paychecks for eight years. He will now be fired and replaced by a teenager and an iPhone app. Recession!  [New York Times] Read more on Please No One Do A ‘Hilarious Topical Political Costume’ And Dress Up As Hamid Karzai’s CIA-Informant Brother…
  daily briefing

Actual Pigs Are Getting Swine Flu. What’s Next, Like, The Actual Swine Flu Virus Getting Swine Flu?

After being prodded by basically everyone on Earth, soon-to-be-former President of Afghanistan Hamid Karzai is ready to admit that he did not actually win the re-election. [New York Times] A new poll says that most people think the public option would be a good thing, actually. [Washington Post] Read more on Actual Pigs Are Getting Swine Flu. What’s Next, Like, The Actual Swine Flu Virus Getting Swine Flu?…
  daily briefing

US Threatens Iran With Feared, Decidedly Non-Nuclear Economic Sanctions

Barack Obama demanded that Iran turn over blueprints to its underground ex-secret nuclear hideaway, and threatened to take away the US’s gas and oil investment money. Iran responded by test-firing a bunch of short-range missiles and then claiming they were medium-range missiles. Sassy/grim! [New York Times] Read more on US Threatens Iran With Feared, Decidedly Non-Nuclear Economic Sanctions…