Tag: halloween

We want your brains

Nine Easy Halloween Costume Ideas That Won’t Get You Laid And May Kill You

This is you: "I want to dress up for Halloween but I'm lazy and have bad ideas. Can you help?" Probably not, but let's take a crack at it anyway. Here are nine "easy" costume ideas for you to...
Could be Baby Jesus, could be mummies. Your call

Kirk Cameron Proves Pagans Tried To Steal Halloween From Baby Jesus

Onetime teevee actor Kirk Cameron, getting into the spirit of the pre-Christmas movie release season, gave a very exciting interview to the Christian Post, in which he revealed that Halloween is a 100 percent Christian festival of 100 percent Christian origins. OK, sure, by...

Sarah Palin To Celebrate Poor Hippie Socialist Jew’s Birthday By Not Finishing Tour To Sell Her Crappy Book

With Halloween behind us, there is a crisp, fresh feeling in the air. The kind of feeling that can only mean one thing: time to start capitalizing on other people’s deeply held religi-political beliefs to rake in boatloads of...

Weird Youtube Proves High School Teacher Didn’t Call Trick-Or-Treaters The N-Word, Despite Media’s Evil Lies

Tipster "Nicholas" writes: Would someone figure this out, and then explain it to me in writing on an internet site? Sure, no problem, "Nicholas!" The video, of course, is in response to this, which Dok so ably dokumented for us last...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Cache Of Crazy

Happy Saturday, Wonkaroonies, and welcome to another installment of Derp Roundup, where we stomp on a bunch of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite enough to do a full post on, to squeeze out...

Derp Roundup: All Hallows’ Eve Edition II: The Quickening

We had a feeling that just one collection of Halloween idiocy would not be sufficient to hold all the Derp that the holiday generates, and we were right. So here we go with Derpin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. How about we...

Barack Obama As Terrible At Halloween As He Is At Everything Else

Apparently Barack Obama is as bad at Halloween as you Terrible Ones are at caption contests! (Why do you suck, Terrible Ones? WHYYYYYY?) Michelle Obama, meanwhile, at least went as a Mean Girl, with the animal ears but minus...

Derp Roundup: Special All Hallows’ Eve Edition

Hey-ho, Wonkerinos and Wonkerinas! Here we are at the day before Halloween, and as usual, some people are just cold insisting on celebrating the coming holiday by hanging bats in their belfries. Let's have a look: Father Peter Carota is...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tips For The Wealthy Edition

TRIGGER WARNING AND SPOILER ALERT: Both Maureen Dowd and Thomas Friedman appear to be on vacation and did not drop any pearls of wisdom all over this week's Sunday New York Times. We are disappoint. Still here, though: Ross...

What Are The Christianists Saying About Getting Kidnapped By Satanists Today?

From the people who brought you unrefudiated proof that George Bush Sr. was a Nazi infiltrator and traitor to the Republic who was always stone cold drinkin' tea with Mengele comes this timely reminder not to let yourself get...

Fox News Pedobear Steals Children’s Candy To Teach Valuable Lesson About Kenyan-Islamo-Socialism

Oh conservative blogger and Fox News contributor Steven Crowder, Pedobear, really? That is how you are dressed while you steal children's candy to "redistribute" it to make your waggish point about taxes = theft or whatever your bullshit is...

Nanny State RINO New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Cancels Children’s Holiday, Inpeach!

We told you yesterday about the (currently unlinkable!) terrible, horrible things RINO New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said about His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney. (Namely, he told him to eat a dick, and had "no interest" in...

VA GOPers Send Charming Halloween Picture of Obama Shot In Head

The prankster Republican Committee officials of Loudoun County, Virginia decided to invite families to their local Halloween parade this year with a photo montage featuring Barack Obama with a bullet hole in his head, just to inject a little...

Evil Obama Destroys FLOTUS’ Healthy Halloween

The holidays are a difficult time for any couple. In America, "the holidays" usually refers to that special time of year when the baby Jesus returns to cast spells on all the Walmarts so he can watch insane sweatpants-clad...

Foreclosure Mill Law Firm Costume Fun: Dress As Homeless Families

The first reaction most decent people will have when seeing these pictures of last year's Halloween costume party at the foreclosure mill law offices of Steven J. Baum is overwhelming disgust and nausea, followed by an overwhelming desire to...

Last Minute ‘Sexy Halloween Politics’ Costumes To Ruin Parties and Lives

Oh oh what to "be" for Halloween this year, tomorrow, when the big party happens somewhere? This is an annual problem for America's infantile, sexually repressed adults -- when you aren't "being anything" during the rest of the year...