Wonkette

This lady, she is just so mean, not giving candy to children who are in the tank. She is the meanest lady ever. What is wrong with this mean lady. [YouTube]

Enjoy getting killed tonight, America, by blood zombies and Sarah Palin on the streets of your neighborhoods. And then come right here tomorrow for a second installment of Weekend Wonkette, where we randomly post more stuff about nothing on our days off because there is an election coming up. Sara will be posting tomorrow, and all three of your editors will be posting on Sunday. Until then, enjoy this retarded video that Wonkette roommate operative “Rob” forced us to watch last night. [YouTube]

Keep on sending in those “politically themed” costume photos, people, tonight and tomorrow after you find yourself with a new case of warts after having had scary ghost-sex with a random Sarah Palin or Joe the Plumber you met on the street, trick-or-treating. Here are some photos people have sent in, divided into three categories: Ashley Todds, Sarah Palins, and OBVIOUS WINNER. MORE »

Little baby Trig must be so glad he wasn’t aborted for this, his first Halloween, because his parents dressed him up like a political party symbol to be carried around at snarling political events. Aww. Isn’t life just grand? [HuffPo]

A horde of dead creatures associated with “Zombiecon 2008″ has killed all of the Christians praying to the Wall Street bull and DRENCHED IT IN THEIR DEATH BLOOD, omg, Video Fridays are the best. This is completely terrifying and you will die just by watching it. [YouTube]

[Photo of the SixApart office wall by Miz Ginevra.]

Dolly’s sadistic parents have dressed her as America’s most-hated angry dingbat, so the neighbors will feed her poison. (Thanks Josh!)

Sometimes the stock market is more “faith based” than a mall-church full of unemployed white trash. The Dow did a triple-digit plunge this morning, because the world is actually ending, especially the “making money” part, but it suddenly did a 200-point turnaround on month-old data suggesting a whole 4,000 heavily marked-down new homes sold in September, before the complete collapse of all American and Global stock markets. What? MORE »

Wonkette death crime operative “Courtney” sends us this disturbing photo of what Obama and the blacks have done to an innocent pumpkin who wandered into their ghetto. We have a feeling this is happening to thousands of pumpkins across the nation. Oh but of course the liberal MSM gotcha media would never criticize “The One” for this, heaven forbid.

John McCain has been asking everyone “Who is the REAL Barack Obama?” and, ha, we’ve finally smoked him out; here is the Real Barack Obama, a bird-faced hellcop space lord clutching a dead kitty, staring at the camera, trying to rape John F. Kennedy. He’s with, uh, Jim Webb there in the dunce cap. You’ve been warned. Anyway, what will you readers be for that yearly celebration of evil, Halloween? Let’s have a contest! Whoever sends us the funniest “political” costume photo by this time next week will win a special prize… to be determined later? Probably a pack of smokes or a few used dildos, don’t hold your breath. [Gawker]

Remember how Barack Obama went on Ellen that one time, and then his wife went on, and then yesterday he went on again and proved through his dancing that he is indeed half white? Well, here is the new footage. Also: midway through we see a photograph of a young Obama in a pirate costume (for Halloween, a pagan holiday), an image which spontaneously impregnated thousands of American women with tiny pirate-babies. [YouTube]