halloween
Fox News Pedobear Steals Children’s Candy To Teach Valuable Lesson About Kenyan-Islamo-Socialism
Oh conservative blogger and Fox News contributor Steven Crowder, Pedobear, really? That is how you are dressed while you steal children’s candy to “redistribute” it to make your waggish point about taxes = theft or whatever your bullshit is today? Sadface, Steven Crowder. Sadface! But let us get on to the “meat” of your “argument.” [...]
Nanny State RINO New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Cancels Children’s Holiday, Inpeach!
We told you yesterday about the (currently unlinkable!) terrible, horrible things RINO New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said about His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney. (Namely, he told him to eat a dick, and had “no interest” in hosting him for a natural disaster photo op. Then he ate the dick of Barack Nobummer [...]
Foreclosure Mill Law Firm Costume Fun: Dress As Homeless Families
The first reaction most decent people will have when seeing these pictures of last year’s Halloween costume party at the foreclosure mill law offices of Steven J. Baum is overwhelming disgust and nausea, followed by an overwhelming desire to storm these offices on Monday and “make an example.” But the employees of Steven J. Baum [...]
Last Minute ‘Sexy Halloween Politics’ Costumes To Ruin Parties and Lives
Oh oh what to “be” for Halloween this year, tomorrow, when the big party happens somewhere? This is an annual problem for America’s infantile, sexually repressed adults — when you aren’t “being anything” during the rest of the year but a consumer schlub scared to death of getting fired from a job you deeply hate [...]
Here’s the Complete, Hilarious First Rick Perry Ad, Where He’s Dressed as Marlboro Man
Still trying to get Rick Perry’s “sausage rickroll” commercial out of your brain? How about the entire original campaign spot that produced the sausage fest’s closing shots of Perry inexplicably dressed in a full Halloween costume of a cowboy: Thanks again to Wonkette operative “Andrew K.,” who is some kind of video-archive emotional terrorist.
White Lady Can’t See Why Black ‘Scarecrow’ Hung By Noose Is Racist
A racist nutjob prankster in Brooklyn thought Halloween-tyme would be the perfect occasion to hang a black dummy from a city tree by a noose and hope everyone would pass off a creepy lynching as a spooky “scarecrow,” for laffs and racism. HAR HAR? No, black residents were mysteriously not entertained by the joke, and [...]
Wingnuts Plotting To Overthrow Devil Halloween Ritual With ‘JesusWeen’
The fringe end of the Jesus people spectrum is still sore about the unholy existence of patron witch-saint Christine O’Donnell’s annual demonic pagan sex party “Halloween,” so they are heroically promoting a hilarious/doomed Internet campaign to put the “Jesus” back in “Ween” this October 31st. Everyone celebrate “Jesus Ween,” for the kids! Oh sure, it [...]
FLOTUS Devises Evil Plan to Save Election, Through Exercise
Today, most of America’s children are happily sedated from an all-night candy binge conditioning exercise. They are taking their giant pillowcases of winnings to school and bragging about who scored more free Snickers bars, because that is the meaning of Freedom. But this is not the case for the children who were subjected to a [...]
Wonkette Halloween Party Going About As Expected
The Wonkette copy desk alerts us that rumors on the Twitter suggest the Wonkette Halloween Nightwhore Party is going about as you’d expect.
Do Not Forget About Tonight’s Wonkette Halloween Party In DC!
All the details are right here! Do not forget! It starts in an hour, basically — so get your ladybug costume and witch hat and run to the Big Hunt in Dupont.
Your Wonkette Guide To Terrifying Halloween Reading!
Rejoice, Wonketeers, for Halloween is nearly upon us! In keeping with the spirit of this sexy witch-burning holiday, Wonkette World o’ Books is going to try something a bit different this week. Instead of reviewing one shameful/inept book, we’ll simply recommend a few different books, none of them explicitly about politics but all helpful in [...]
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