Tag: halloween

Your Weekly Top Ten Features The Wonkette Kiddos DRESSED UP FOR HALLOWEEN!

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

Some Idiot: Liberals Using Witchcraft To Make People Think Racism And Rape Are Wrong

Dr. Lance Wallnau is onto us, and all the witchcraft we are doing to make people think racism and rape are actual problems.
They named it after a scary movie and everything

Christians Oppressed Again: School Won’t Let Them Do Gay Nightclub Shooting Haunted House

Chicago's school district cancelled a 'Christian' haunted house simply because it was tasteless and exploitative. Talk about missing the point.

Is Jack Chick In Hell?

Jack Chick is up in heaven now, with Isaac Asimov and Kurt Vonnegut.
Fa la la la la, la la la SHART

‘Fox & Friends’ Jizz Their Stockings In Yuletide Rage

Two of the unique strains of brain syphilis that sit on the "Fox & Friends" couch every morning have finded a real War On Christmas! Oh so exciting! You see, there is this school in Brooklyn, P.S. 169, and...

Ben Carson On Fire With Great Plan To Leave Syrian Refugees Right Where They Are

While you were stuffing yourself with Thanksgiving Tofurkey this weekend, sleepy human gaffe machine Ben Carson traveled to the Middle East to annoy and confuse people there instead of here. He dropped in on Syria and came back with...

Whiny Republicans And Creeper Fundamentalists. Which Are Ickier? Your Weekly Top Ten

Well hello there, Wonkers. It's Sunday afternoon, time for your weekly top ten list, and it is also NOVEMBER OH MY HOW TIME FLIES! This also means yesterday was Halloween! You might have already seen Official Wonkette Babby, pictured...
You want this. It doesn't matter if you like candy corn OR Jello.

These Candy Corn Jell-o Shots Will Feed Your Sweet Tooth, With Booze

We are eating Candy Corn Jell-O Shots for Halloween. Coconut, orange, and pineapple gelatin with vodka -- party in the test kitchen! The best part about this recipe is that is doesn’t taste like Candy Corn at all. Remember nibbling...
Jesus was a party animal.

Will Christian DJs Go To Hell For Celebrating 60-Year-Old Gay Dudes’ Birthdays?

Time for a dispatch from the ever-changing, goalposts-moving definition of the phrase "religious freedom." All these whiny bitchy wingnuts have been protesting that they DO NOT EITHER hate the gays, but it violates their Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs™ to do...

Enjoy The Hell Out Of This Little Girl Telling A Street Preacher To Shut! UP! (Video)

You know those guys who stand on the street, or maybe even ring your doorbell just when you're sitting down to dinner, to Biblesplain how you are going to Hell, where you will burn forever and ever, unless you...
You just know the real RBG is just giggling like crazy at this

You’re Not Going To Top This Halloween Costume: Ruth Baby Ginsburg

From Twitter, which finally decided to use its powers for good today. Turns out that this is actually the second "Ruth Baby Ginsburg" to win Halloween. Last year, a whole 'nother babby won the award at Above the Law: Baby Clarence...
Convicted killers for Lee Terry

GOP Congressman Lee Terry Wins Coveted Convicted Killer Endorsement

Rep. Lee Terry of Nebraska is a real piece of work. He's one of the charming fellas who insisted, during the government shutdown, that he was special and, unlike the rest of America, he really needed his paycheck because...
We want your brains

Nine Easy Halloween Costume Ideas That Won’t Get You Laid And May Kill You

This is you: "I want to dress up for Halloween but I'm lazy and have bad ideas. Can you help?" Probably not, but let's take a crack at it anyway. Here are nine "easy" costume ideas for you to...
Could be Baby Jesus, could be mummies. Your call

Kirk Cameron Proves Pagans Tried To Steal Halloween From Baby Jesus

Onetime teevee actor Kirk Cameron, getting into the spirit of the pre-Christmas movie release season, gave a very exciting interview to the Christian Post, in which he revealed that Halloween is a 100 percent Christian festival of 100 percent Christian origins. OK, sure, by...

Sarah Palin To Celebrate Poor Hippie Socialist Jew’s Birthday By Not Finishing Tour To Sell Her Crappy Book

With Halloween behind us, there is a crisp, fresh feeling in the air. The kind of feeling that can only mean one thing: time to start capitalizing on other people’s deeply held religi-political beliefs to rake in boatloads of...

Weird Youtube Proves High School Teacher Didn’t Call Trick-Or-Treaters The N-Word, Despite Media’s Evil Lies

Tipster "Nicholas" writes: Would someone figure this out, and then explain it to me in writing on an internet site? Sure, no problem, "Nicholas!" The video, of course, is in response to this, which Dok so ably dokumented for us last...