Tag Archives: halliburton

  the people that you meet each day

Allen West Heard About Benghazi From A Guy On A Plane Who Knew A Guy, And That’s What I Call ‘Q.E.D.’

Allen West knows the truth about Benghazi, because he was on an airplane and a guy told him he knew a guy who was there, and that the CIA had been told to stand down, and also people are being threatened, and there was a drawing of schematics, impeach Obama QED. Today as I returned from Detroit, I had a moment that I truly felt was God sent, as I don’t believe in coincidences. It happened on one of my flights, and it was two hours I will never forget. I was in the bar at a Columbus, Ohio, Radisson once, taking turns dancing with two hot best friend guys, one black and one white, and they were both like 6’4, and they were beer truck drivers, and it was the best night ever. I was seated beside someone who personally knew one of the men who was there on the roof in Benghazi. This person was excited to share with me the “ground truth” of what happened September 11, 2012. After I finished dancing with the two hot guy best friends, I met their other buddy, who had just gotten back from Iraq, and he told me that Halliburton (or KBR, I forget) was sending out empty supply caravans so they could pad their measly undecillion-dollar income. Read more on Allen West Heard About Benghazi From A Guy On A Plane Who Knew A Guy, And That’s What I Call ‘Q.E.D.’…
  an honorable man

Hero Judge: Hasn’t Halliburton Dude Who Destroyed Gulf Oil Spill Evidence Suffered Enough?

This post made possible by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil Spill Blogging. Do you ‘member when BP went and ruined its CEO’s whole day, by having that little “whoopsie” in the Gulf of Mexico? We saw things, man. We saw eyeless shrimp. Man, good times good times. Well, the whole thing wasn’t Tony Hayward’s fault (just a lot of it was Tony Hayward’s fault). Some of it was Halliburton’s fault, because they are bad at their jobs. (This time “bad at their jobs” included a little old 200 million gallons of bubbling crude, but who is counting.) Read more on Hero Judge: Hasn’t Halliburton Dude Who Destroyed Gulf Oil Spill Evidence Suffered Enough?…
  hey dad you're in jail

Arkansas GOP Hero Proposes Hilarious Amendment To Put Liz Cheney In Jail

We all have family members who are fuck-ups, right? Uncle Larry who gives a creepy smile to the 14-year-old cousins at the family reunion, or Aunt Peg who has four DUIs. Back in Biblical times, the sins of family were sometimes used to punish innocent people. But that was long ago when people still believed that talking snakes handed out fruit at Eden’s Downtown Organic Farmer’s Market. We have evolved beyond such silly notions as “visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation,” because we all know that the only part of the Old Testament that matters is the part about teh gays’ unnatural sexytimes and how they should be stoned to death because ewwww. Well, the world’s worst Constitutional lawyer and elected member of Congress (HOWWW?!?!?!) Rep. Todd Cotton (R-Stoopid) is trying bring back the good ol’ days and find ways to punish family members for no other reason that being related to someone who breaks the law. Rep. Tom Cotton (R-Ark.) on Wednesday introduced legislation that would “automatically” punish family members of people who violate U.S. sanctions against Iran, levying sentences of up to 20 years in prison. Yes, you read that correctly – 20 years in the slammer because you are related to someone who violated sanctions against Iran. (So sorry, Liz Cheney!) Isn’t there some sort of really old document written about 200 years ago and worshiped by Teabaggers that might, maybe, kinda have something to say about that? Yes, in fact, there are about a GAZILLION FUCKING REASONS why this is awful and unconstitutional, so let’s wonksplain why. Read more on Arkansas GOP Hero Proposes Hilarious Amendment To Put Liz Cheney In Jail…
  double indemnity

Jury: KBR Caused Troops’ Cancer; KBR: Pay Up, America!

A guest post from your comrade “Glasspusher.” Remember when liberals had Dick Cheney’s Halliburton to be OUTRAGED about, like common wingnuts have a black president? Well, jump in your time machine and set it for “2002,” because Halliburton and its subsidiary, KBR, are whispering your name from across space and time! Yes, now we find out through HuffPo that KBR had an operation in Iraq where they knowingly exposed US troops to sodium dichromate, a known carcinogen, and the troops died — and a jury nailed them on it! You are perhaps going to have a spot of mild annoyance over what came next. Read more on Jury: KBR Caused Troops’ Cancer; KBR: Pay Up, America!…
  right this way

The Wonkette Geopoliticker: Which Five Bloody Dictators Deserve A Date With The Hague?

International Justice Alert: Charles Taylor was sentenced this week by the Hague to serve 50 years in a British Slammer for his heinous acts that he says were done “with honour.” He’s expected to appeal, but chances are he will finish his life behind bars. As we maintain, the world is becoming increasingly inhospitable to asshole dictators. When Laurent Gbagbo refused to accept defeat in the Cote D’Ivore elections of 2010 and systematically started murdering 3,000 of his rival’s supporters, the International Criminal Court literally sent someone down there to trick him into getting on an airplane, where his surprise arrest warrant was issued. He is currently on trial for crimes against humanity. Here are five people we’d like to see tricked into a one-way ticket to the Netherlands: Read more on The Wonkette Geopoliticker: Which Five Bloody Dictators Deserve A Date With The Hague?…
  evil confounds

Halliburton Paying $250 Million To Nigeria For Dick Cheney Bribery

Halliburton has agreed to pay a $250 million fine to Nigeria after the country brought bribery charges against the corporation’s former CEO, revered and forthright statesman Dick Cheney, and nine others, for their dealings in the 1990s. So yes, the old adage is true: There are no bribery-related legal problems that can’t be solved with a little bribing. Anyway, there are a few other countries we know of that probably would like to charge Dick Cheney for committing crimes against them. The good news is that they may actually be able to get some money out of this Hero of Democratic Values with no pulse. Read more on Halliburton Paying $250 Million To Nigeria For Dick Cheney Bribery…
  oily-pelican briefs

Halliburton Guy Taking His Smoke Break Responsible For Gulf Spill

A Halliburton technician encharged with monitoring pressure data on America’s most hated oil rig, the Deepwater Horizon, failed to see signs leading to the explosion that resulted in this year’s Gulf oil spill because he was taking a break to smoke and get some coffee, he told a federal panel. Joseph E. Keith would have alerted everyone on board that the thing was going to blow, and cost Obama about five seats in the House come November, but obviously God made nicotine addictive for a reason. When did Keith finally know that something seriously wrong was going on? He ran across the “body of a dead colleague on the deck.” You need to insert about five of your own Dick Cheney jokes into this post, by the way. Read more on Halliburton Guy Taking His Smoke Break Responsible For Gulf Spill…
  stop being mean to dick cheney

Al Franken Saves Ladies From Rape! Republicans Upset

Al Franken is like the best Senator ever, maybe. Here he talking for seven minutes yesterday about his amendment to a defense appropriations bill that would defund KBR (Halliburton) or any other contractor that forces its employees to waive their rights to criminal or civil cases when they get abused or — as was the case of one KBR employee in Iraq — gang-raped by their co-workers. The amendment passed, 68-30! Thirty Republican males voted against it. They thought Al Franken was just being mean to Halliburton because of Dick Cheney and politics. DID YOU KNOW THAT AL FRANKEN USED TO BE A COMEDIAN, AND NOW HE’S A SENATOR? It’s true. [Think Progress] Read more on Al Franken Saves Ladies From Rape! Republicans Upset…
 

Looking for a sadistically corporate way to spruce up your Christmas tree? Best check out the sparkly new Blackwater ornament! A great way to complement your Fallujah Snow Village, Halliburton poinsettia and Cheney tinsel. [Copyranter] Read more on …
 

Hotty McRedhead Quits White House, Still Lies About Iraq

One of the Bush Administration’s top Iraq bumblers is quitting after four disastrous years. After fucking up everything from the pre-invasion plans to the provisional government, Meghan O’Sullivan will give up her current post as deputy national security adviser for Iraq and Afghanistan, she announced Monday. Read more on Hotty McRedhead Quits White House, Still Lies About Iraq…
 

Daily Briefing: Lists, Fists, Mist

* Alberto Gonzalez looks down at the flag pin on his lapel and realizes he could’ve saved one more. [WP, NYT, LAT] * Halliburton gets the hell outta Dodge. [WP, NYT] * House drops the pointless language about not invading Iran from funding bill. [WSJ] * Another guy in a green suit gets fired over Walter Reed clusterfuck. [WP, NYT, USAT] * Nancy Pelosi turns the sprinklers on the hippy dipshits camped outside her house. [NYT] * Republicans don’t like being “bottoms,” pray to Reagan to deliver them from this fate. [NYT] * Iraqi firewater will make you crazy. [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Lists, Fists, Mist…
 

Cheney Fleeing To Dubai

We’ve all been wondering where Cheney would seek exile, and today the answer was delivered: Dubai. Cheney’s company, Halliburton, is suddenly moving corporate headquarters to the United Arab Emirates state. All the top executives are going to Dubai, which means they’ll be far out of reach of that pesky American Congress. “The oil giant will keep an office in Houston but the posts of chairman, president and chief executive will be based in Dubai,” BBC reports. Disgraced weirdo Micheal Jackson also fled to Dubai to avoid further criminal prosecution in America. Halliburton has been running its illegal operations — such as its oil business in Iran — out of its Dubai offices for years. Read more on Cheney Fleeing To Dubai…
 

George Soros Buys 2 Million Shares of Halliburton

Nothing says “Bomb Iran” like markets wizard George Soros plunking down $62 million for a nice chunk of Halliburton stock. The beloved liberal moneybags made the purchase at the end of last year, according to secret public documents revealed by Foreign Policy’s blog. Sure, that’s chump change for the super-billionaire Soros, but the dude didn’t become a super-billionaire by pissing his money away … except for the Kerry campaign, which is pretty much the legal definition of “pissing your money away.” (Soros bought HAL at $31.30, so he already lost about $2 million on the deal.) Read more on George Soros Buys 2 Million Shares of Halliburton…
 

We Actually Won the Iraq War, Hooray!

As all the other reasons for the Iraq invasion and occupation are tossed aside for being either intentional deceptions (WMDs) or just plain feel-good nonsense (democracy, human rights, whatever), the real reason for the war has been a total success: U.S. and British oil companies will take over Iraq’s oil fields under a new Iraqi law written by the Bush Administration. Read more on We Actually Won the Iraq War, Hooray!…
 

Rumors On The Internets: Don’t Take Syria in the Office Invasion Pool

Iran already has a nuclear weapon, American military already in country, world fucked, etc. [The Agonist, Think Progress] Halliburton is totally fine knowing you hate them, as long as the soldiers keep chowing those so very profitable cheeseburgers. [Americablog] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: Don’t Take Syria in the Office Invasion Pool…
 

What, No Orgies? No Occult Rituals?

We were all excited when this ABC News headline came across our Truth Wire: “Anything Goes At Interior Department.” Anything? Like boy-prostitute rings in the White House and that sort of deal? Read more on What, No Orgies? No Occult Rituals?…