Hmm, so that important meeting that Haley Barbour had with assorted Washington fancies on Monday night … folks thought it was all just prelude to a 2012 run, but might it have had something to do with the whole Sanford affair? Because now Barbour is the new head of the Republican Governors Association — at least, until he confesses to an illicit romantical affair with a South American canasta champion. MORE »

Call it the Road to Recovery, you queer fink motherfuckers: a web ad from the RNC, to commemorate Obama’s 100 days of Famine, posted yesterday and immediately pulled for being terrible. Watch what appears to be a Southern white man doing his “blacky voice” over video of Obama’s inauguration speech. MORE »

It looks like Sarah Palin is ruining the caliente Miami vacay for all the other Republican governors, and they just hate her for it. Mostly it was Thursday’s linguistics-defying speech, which some anonymous Republican governors have correctly deemed retarded. They say Palin has been selfishly “sucking up all the media oxygen,” which is against the rules of Beach Week, and that she should not appear to be in any leadership position. Oh, and no Beach Week hook-ups count. Former Party Chairman Haley Barbour said the media has plenty of oxygen for all Republican governors to suck, etc., and dismissed the notion with a charming confederate epigram, as is his wont. [CNN Political Ticker]

Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour reportedly plans to announce that Congressman Roger Wicker will be filling Trent Lott’s Senatorial shoes until the next election at least. Chip Pickering, who was initially considered to be the obvious choice, told everyone last week that he really did want to spend more time with his family, which means he is either poised to make a shitload of money as a lobbyist or has a sex scandal in the wings. We’d say more about Wicker, but he’s sorta boring and virtually unknown, which is probably why they chose him. [Yahoo News, Clarion-Ledger]

We’re placing LNS somewhere between Friendster and Facebook on the entertainment value spectrum. MORE »

Today’s Wonk’d brings us Hu Jintao, guarded like the superpower leader that he is, and Chris Rock — also being guarded, but maybe for different reasons. Jenna Bush and friends were seen, shockingly, waiting their turn in line, but the guys from Franz Ferdinand had ladies waiting in line for them. Media elites Tucker Carlson and David Gregory, ignoring high gas prices, were fillin’ ‘er up. Also spotted: Chelsea Clinton, hiding behind the latest fashions; R. Kelly, trying to get himself in more trouble; and John Ashcroft, ACTUALLY TAKING THE METRO. We deliver what we promise, plus so much more, after the jump.

We love our tipsters and all your hilarious tips, so please keep sending them to us via email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with the name of the spotted celeb). Thanks!

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* Only 1.4m of the 8m low-income Americans eligible for special Medicare benefits have made shift to new plan; “the government is on track to spend about $250 for each person it enrolls.” [WP]
* Bush presses for energy innovation: “We have a chance to transform the way we power our economy, and the way we lead our lives.” [WP, NYT, USAT]
* Some State Department officials complain that a recent reorganization was politically motivated and “reduced the influence of employees who were viewed by some political appointees as disloyal to the administration’s policies.” [WP]
* Sen. Specter (R-Pa.) hopes to propose limits on NSA eavesdropping within the next few weeks. [WT]

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• Reliable Source: Mark Plotkin wants to see a basketball match between Goergetown and George Washington. . . Little League Softball World Series winners sit for White House photo. [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: Sen. George Allen (Vir.), Gov. Haley Barbour (Miss.), Asa Hutchinson, Sen. Bill Frist (Tenn.), Sen. Lamar Alexander (Tenn.), Gov. Mike Huckabee (Ark.), and Mitt Romney have confirmed their attendance at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference. [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Michael Chertoff defends appointment of Julie Myers. [NYDN]
• Page Six: Gennifer Flowers is “extremely disappointed” her case was dismissed. [NYP]

• Washington Whispers: Howard Dean to push “Democratic values” to voters; DNC pollster: “This is the opening for a sea change.”. . . GOP pollster finds discontent among Bush’s base with his foreign policy. . . George Allen seen as early ‘08 frontrunner. . . Antonin Scalia decries the use of foreign law to decide domestic cases. . . Republicans see viable presidential campaign from Hillary. . . Hurricane response boosts Haley Barbour’s ‘08 odds. [USN&WR]
• Inside the Beltway: Buchanan: “George W. Bush is in big trouble, and so are we.”. . . Coulter receives $5,000 honor from the American Compass. . . Helen Thomas goes on Bill Maher’s HBO show. [WT]
• Inside Politics: Clinton criticizes the media for not being skeptical of politicians and says Democrats need to take a stand: “[W]e basically let political ads turn every player in this drama into a two-dimensional cartoon instead of a three-dimensional person.” [WT]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Scooter Libby tried doing tequila shots with Maureen Dowd at 2003 Bloomberg party; The New Yorker has excerpted the sex scenes from his 1996 novel. . . Laura Bush gives April Ryan an hour-long tour of the White House family quarters after a “softball interview”. . . NPR’s Noah Adams mistakenly announces the indictment of NPR’s Libby Lewis. [NYDN]
• Cindy Adams: Helen Thomas says Scooter Libby would not act without Cheney’s permission. . . Did Cheney cancel a hunting trip because of traffic complaints? [NYP]

• Under the Dome: Katherine Harris cruises around in a silver BMW 645 convertible with a “Harris for Senate” bumper sticker. . . Rep. Chris Chocola (R-Ind.) is the best golfer in Congress, for what it’s worth. [The Hill]
• Names & Faces: James Rubin to host daily newscast on Sky Television. . . Sandra Day O’Connor publishes autobiographical children’s book. . . Wolf Blitzer seen dining with the president of the Washington Wizards. [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: 6 of 10 board members of the National Black Republican Association are expected to resign this week. . . Hurricane boosts Barbour’s chances in ‘08. [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Bush plays phone prank on Rep. Peter King (R-L.I.). [NYDN]
• Page Six: Hillary distracted by pinstripes, or maybe it’s just the wallets inside. . . McGreevey seen with a “typical Chelsea guy.” [NYP, NYP]

• Bush visits Mississippi and Louisiana: “There’s a lot of work to be done. . . this country is going to be committed to doing what it takes to help people get back on their feet.” [WP, NYT, WT]
• Shift of Roberts provides Bush “a bit of time to untangle the aftermath of the hurricane, a job that his trip on Monday suggested might take a while, as the images of suffering continued to dominate television news coverage during the long holiday weekend. The challenge for the president is to repair the political damage caused by the government’s slow response. . . without looking political.[NYT, USAT]
• Republicans return to Washington facing deluge of problems, from rising gas prices to vacancies on the Supreme Court; Democrats hope for upper hand; lawmakers race to provide plans and answers in hurricane’s wake. [WP, NYT, WT, WT, USAT]
• Administration strategizes long-term relief for hurricane victims. Pastor: “I think the gains that Republicans have made in some parts of the black community, particularly among the young, may be in jeopardy.” [WSJ]
• Central morgue established outside of Baton Rouge; thousands of bodies expected. [NYT]

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