Tag: halal

British-Flavored Idiots Think They’ll Get Muslim On Them If They Eat Terrifying ‘Halal’ Meat

Sometimes we forget, because Brits are so proper, that their papers are about a million times more scuzzy than American papers at times, particularly those that are owned by aging monster Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch's Sun had a BIG HUGE...
Americans Love Sharia!

Comrade Obama Joins Wonkette War On Christmas With Halal Sharia Brigade

Take a moment to remember where you were and what you were doing today because today, this Black Friday 2012, is likely the last time Americans will be allowed to partake in the sacred pre-Christmas tradition of lining up...

Whole Foods Now Catering to Crazy People Who Don’t Shop There

Fancy yuppie grocery store Whole Foods is known mostly for being a good place to spend eight dollars on a tomato that was planted in the ground without chemicals, sung to, and watered with organic unicorn juice on a...

Today America Is Restored (Got Rid Of the Vagina Speaker)

Newly unearthed documents show the ACLU was founded by COMMUNISTS in 1919. This fact is truly shocking because why would anyone want to overthrow capitalism during the golden age of child labor? Muslims are slated to show up in...

Dancing With the Stars: Insidious Mind Control?

McDonald's was SECRETLY Halal for a day or two, which infuriated the Teabaggers because they paid for PIG-anus, goddamnit, not some disgusting Sharia meat. Science proves that Moses used miracle wind-power, just like Captain Planet, to part the Red...

For Wingnuts On Facebook, Campbell’s Soup Is the New ‘GZ Mosk’

Some wingnut found out Campbell's Soup in Canada is now certified halal and became very angry that Sharia law was being imposed on his chicken-noodle soup, as we briefly mentioned yesterday. Suddenly, there is now a Facebook page full...