Tag Archives: halal

  meet the meat

British-Flavored Idiots Think They’ll Get Muslim On Them If They Eat Terrifying ‘Halal’ Meat

Sometimes we forget, because Brits are so proper, that their papers are about a million times more scuzzy than American papers at times, particularly those that are owned by aging monster Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch’s Sun had a BIG HUGE EXPOSE about how Britons might secretly be eating halal meat like filthy Muslins do. THE HORROR. Except for that part where it isn’t actually a secret. Bloggers and news outlets were quick to jump on the story, pointing out the “secret” of Pizza Express’ halal meat policy was perhaps not so secret after all… It’s explained in the FAQ section of the company’s website, has been tweeted about by Pizza Express, and mentioned in previous news reports. Read more on British-Flavored Idiots Think They’ll Get Muslim On Them If They Eat Terrifying ‘Halal’ Meat…
  dispatches from the fema camps

Comrade Obama Joins Wonkette War On Christmas With Halal Sharia Brigade

Americans Love Sharia!
Take a moment to remember where you were and what you were doing today because today, this Black Friday 2012, is likely the last time Americans will be allowed to partake in the sacred pre-Christmas tradition of lining up outside big box stores to purchase $5 DVD players. And not just because solid state media is basically obsolete. As everyone knows, Barack Obama is a secret Muslim. He plans to use his second term to implement Sharia Law and turn America into a socialist Islamist theocracy. That means Christmas will be outlawed in the FEMA Camps! Because Obama doesn’t like it when anyone else gives gifts — especially gifts for non-browns and non-sluts. To show you what this nightmare look like, Wonkette operatives bravely traveled to Dearborn, Michigan, where Sharia is already practiced openly, to infiltrate and document the Tehran-like Fairlane Town Center mall. Most American malls are currently engaged in the wholesome, Christian practice of over-commercializing Christmas, but things are very different at Fairlane. Take a good look because this is the hell that awaits us in Obama’s second term. Read more on Comrade Obama Joins Wonkette War On Christmas With Halal Sharia Brigade…
  internet fight!

Whole Foods Now Catering to Crazy People Who Don’t Shop There

Fancy yuppie grocery store Whole Foods is known mostly for being a good place to spend eight dollars on a tomato that was planted in the ground without chemicals, sung to, and watered with organic unicorn juice on a farm with “ethical” work conditions or whatever. Whole Foods is also apparently run by people who like to make puns about Ramadan, which is not something that is done in this country nowadays, because of terrorism, obviously. Read more on Whole Foods Now Catering to Crazy People Who Don’t Shop There…
  rumors on the internets

Dancing With the Stars: Insidious Mind Control?

McDonald’s was SECRETLY Halal for a day or two, which infuriated the Teabaggers because they paid for PIG-anus, goddamnit, not some disgusting Sharia meat. [Creeping Sharia] Science proves that Moses used miracle wind-power, just like Captain Planet, to part the Red Sea. [InstituteForCreationResearch] Read more on Dancing With the Stars: Insidious Mind Control?…
  not on my farmville!

For Wingnuts On Facebook, Campbell’s Soup Is the New ‘GZ Mosk’

Some wingnut found out Campbell’s Soup in Canada is now certified halal and became very angry that Sharia law was being imposed on his chicken-noodle soup, as we briefly mentioned yesterday. Suddenly, there is now a Facebook page full of thousands of wingnuts “protesting” this, or whatever it is you call idiots trying to type xenophobic comments in correct English into a box on Facebook. Such as, “No is no such thing as Peachful Muslims.” Peachful, right. Here’s another good one! “There were no NAZI bagesl during WWII and there should darn well not be any American soup company going halal. To hell wtih Campbell’s!” The Muslims want us to eat their food, but we won’t do it! We won’t eat any food at all! HAHA! Take that, Muslims! Read more on For Wingnuts On Facebook, Campbell’s Soup Is the New ‘GZ Mosk’…