haiti
Get it? “Earthquake,” “unshaken”? ZING BAM POW. Next up: “Haiti? More like CHEETAH!” What, who says you can’t use any of the Tiger Woods puns for other news stories? Anyway, congratulations to Jesus, for pulling off another fast one. [CNN]
Look everyone, it’s America’s two greatest presidents, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, taking back the White House to restore Capitalism to America. They urge you to donate to Haiti for some reason… [googles "haiti problem ?" ]… oh GOD, you should really donate to Haiti!! The best part comes at the end, when Barack [...]
Iowa Rep. Steve King, the #1 asshole in Congress, is exhibiting the more compassionate side of his asshole today (gross) in response to the Haitian crisis. Like many wingnuts, Steve King does not support granting temporary protected status (TPS) to undocumented Haitians living within the United States — a.k.a. he don’t support none dem Mexicans [...]
Yeah yeah yeah, we know, they’re there for “Meals on Wheels” purposes, as the very sensitive and approving Rush Limbaugh termed it today. But that doesn’t mean we can’t pray for at least a few Predator attacks or tactical offshore missile launches, right? If we’re going to have a War on Haiti, we might as [...]
GRRR, BARACK OBAMA MAKEY SO ANGRY! Now let’s compare this Fox headline to a grown-up’s headline: “Obama halts deportations of undocumented Haitian immigrants, urged to grant ‘protected status.’” So what Obama is doing, at the urging of most rational, humane people, is halting Haitian deportations during a humanitarian crisis back in Haiti. It’s a fairly [...]
Oh man you guys Robert Gibbs called Pat Robertson’s remarks about Haiti/Satan “utterly stupid!” WHAT AN ASSHOLE ROBERT GIBBS IS! Apologize to Pat Robertson and Satan right now! [YouTube]
GEORGE W. BUSH TO SAVE HAITI: Greatest fuckin’ hero ever George W. Bush has killed his father, and now he gets to be Bill Clinton’s latest ex-president pal! They will travel to Haiti to… hmm what’s a tired Bush joke thing for this… they will CLEAR ALL THE BRUSH! from Haiti’s streets. HAHAHHA, it’s what [...]
Haitian refugees are being imprisoned at Guantanamo, because Bagram is obviously a bit out of the way. [Think Progress] Once again, Newt Gingrich is caught felching about the 2012 presidential elections. [AMERICAblog] Armageddon’s arrival has been delayed by one minute. Please be patient. [Hit & Run] The GOP has defeated the Democrats at Twitter. Truly, [...]
All the aid that you donated yesterday via your Facebook status and also actual organizations that will send relief money is having a hard time reaching people buried under their own homes in Haiti. [New York Times] Oh and speaking of: Haiti has been the “Iranian elections of natural disasters” for Twitter, which, almost in [...]
Pat Robertson’s PR man, Jeebus, has issued a Statement further proving that Pat Robertson is one of the foremost thinkers of our time: “On today’s The 700 Club, during a segment about the devastation, suffering and humanitarian effort that is needed in Haiti, Dr. Robertson also spoke about Haiti’s history. His comments were based on [...]
DON’T BE A DICK: If you want to “give money to Haiti,” you can “text ‘HAITI’ to 90999 to donate $10 to American Red Cross relief for Haiti.” They will charge your imaginary credit card. Donations in other amounts can be made to the Red Cross’ International Response Fund. The White House blog has more [...]
There being a massive natural disaster killing or hurting thousands or millions of poor people yesterday, Pat Robertson responded naturally this morning, by blaming it on those specific poor people and their worship of Satan — all under the guise of a Disaster Relief Fundraiser.
So there was a terrible earthquake in Haiti, and the news out of there is pretty fucking grim, which is why people who clicked on the link to see reader-submitted photos of the disaster on the Washington Post might have been shocked to see puppies and blue skies! Thanks (?) to reader “Josh” for the [...]
After a frightening round of campaigning in nearby Virginia, Bill Clinton has been given a long list of weird destinations, in hopes he will “keep busy” for the next eight years, far from polite Washington society. First came word of his appointment as special UN envoy to Haiti, which is known for its lack of [...]
