Tag: haiti

Unbelievable but TRUE

How Did Wonkette Make It Into Anonymous’s ‘Proof’ That Hillary Clinton’s A Child Sex Prevert?

Anonymous is on to something! Or maybe just 'on something,' if you know what we mean.

Wikileaks Pretty Sure Hillary Clinton Is A Child Sex Trafficker Now, It Is Just Obvious

You won't believe this incredible news! Mostly because it's pure bunk,.
The eyes seem to follow your wallet around the room

How Can Hillary Clinton Defend Her Foundation When It Hasn’t Bought Any Snazzy Art?

You want to compare foundations, Donald? Let's compare foundations.

Christopher Columbus Was A Dick

One thousand years ago today -- or Monday, the 12th -- a terrible slave-trading murderer/imbecile who did not even know how to spell his own name, which is Latin for "asshole," landed at the "Sandals" resort in Puerto Rico...
We actually remember this part

John Oliver Wonders Why We’re Still Bothering With Columbus Day (Video)

Happy Native American Genocide Day, Blame-America-First crowd! John Oliver and Last Week Tonight have this happy little video asking the important question: How is Columbus Day still a thing? It's a solemn commemoration of mattress sales and "turning up...

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Textbooks That Leave Reality To Other People

Better fire up your modems and log into your AOL account (or Prodigy for you hipsters). Time for another look at the ruinous near-decade of prosperity under Bill Clinton, as refracted through the Truthiness Lens of rightwing Christian textbooks....

U.N. Actually Responsible For Something Terrible: Black Helicopters Were Full Of Cholera The Whole Time

Almost 650,000 Haitians have contracted cholera since a giant earthquake struck the island in 2010. This is kind of a weird thing to have happened, since cholera is caused by a bacterium called Vibrio cholerae and not by being...

Michelle Obama Invites Awesome Haitian Lady To SOTU FLOTUS Box

Your FLOTUS correspondent can smell an ABC Family original movie a mile away, and this one smells like some combination of Ruby Bridges, that documentary about the choir for elderly people, and scallions. It is the story of...

Japan Raises Nuclear Apocalypse Alert Level

Japan raised the nuclear alert level at Fukushima from four to five on a seven-point international scale for atomic incidents, making this nightmare just two "points" away from Chernobyl! (That's a nice way to imagine it, in "points." Just...

George W. Bush Volunteers For Another Icky Hand Job

We are fairly certain that George W. Bush is currently touching stuff in Haiti, but new photos have surfaced that suggest maybe he is also still in Texas shaking hands with troops returning from war, via CNN Hologram. Isn't...

George Bush Back In Haiti, And This Time He’s Wearing Gloves!

Matt Yglesias illustrates the ironic nature of our permanent occupation of Iraq with a special Alanis Morissette song! Remember Dan Maes, the Colorado Tea Party man who exposed the U.N. conspiracy that would have forced the entire city of...

The End Times Aren’t Looking So Bad Right Now

The out-of-control Patriot Act allowed one of Obama’s best friends, a BLACK BEAR, to waltz into some poor family’s home, eat their fruit, and steal one of their most precious toys, ALL WITHOUT A WARRANT. As predicted in the...

Liveblogging This Election Thing From the Homes of Alvin Greene And Hockey’s Carolina Hurricanes

Some states in our union haven't learned that runoffs are unnecessary (WE THINK WE HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT THE GUY WITH THE MOST VOTES WINS ONE TIME) and are gay-European, and these states happen to be in very Republican areas...

Help Rush Limbaugh Flee the Country?

Watch closely as RedState concludes what health care reform is really about (Hint: commie mind control!). John Boehner is featured in a hot new will.i.am remix by DJ Librul, and Boenher's melodic screaming doesn't even require "the auto-tune!"...

Internet More Hateful Than Ever, So Write Mean Things In The Comments!

Why won't Barack Obama let The Troops who liberated Haiti from Hugo Chavez's earthquake machine fly the Stars and Stripes? NASA discovered a delightful popcorn shrimp frolicking 600 feet below Antarctica. Here is some horrifying footage of Barbara Boxer's...

Obama’s Command Of News Cycle First Thing Of Many To Be Ruined By iPad

For the record, Obama is totally into jobs now, not health care. Obama also called for a repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, which means all those Facebook petitions worked!! Meet this latest thing you will own! It is...