hacks

Every so often, in the midst of a great controversy, a very special column must be written. This column must be so earnest and serious and high-minded that it literally says nothing substantial about the issue at hand. It is a sacred piece of journalistic opinion that absolves the best people of the burden of […]

Well, this is very sad. Apparently, History’s Greatest Monster Michelle Obama has neither shat upon the face of the smiling Baby Jesus by naming her Christmas trees “holiday African witchdoctor spear missiles” nor covered her Christmas trees in hypodermic needles and Stalin. How, then, is a hack of many talents to take great umbrage with […]

Poor Jennifer Rubin, the unofficial public voice of the Romney campaign who continues to have a job at the Washington Post. Why doesn’t your Wonkette make fun of her more often? Maybe it’s too easy, but it’s not like that consideration has ever stopped us. Jen Rubin is sad today. Just a few days ago […]

It is very confusing to keep up with conservative economic talking points philosophy, because one minute they’re all “deficits don’t matter!” and then a couple years later they turn around and decide that deficits will ruin the U.S. economy, unless the deficit came from tax cuts for the wealthy job creators, in which case they […]

When even Pegs Nooner is left to moan into her (METAPHORICAL!) Vicodin bottle that President Francisco Franco has had a very good day, where can the poor spinmeisters of the Republican National Committee turn for a warm hug of tea and sympathy? Why, the Washington Post’s “The Fix,” of course! While our initial readout in […]

It’s amazing that novels about Washington DC intrigue get written at all, because the politicians who engage in what the media thinks of as “Washington intrigue” take dullness to unholy extremes. New Obama administration roman à clef O: A Presidential Novel achieves the feat of making these people even duller in fiction than they are […]

Here comes a very prestigious honor disguised as a cheap web poll: You will help choose the worst Kaplan College Test Daily News op-ed columnist of 2010 for Wonkette’s first annual Weeping Eagle Awards. What do these five wretched writers have in common, other than being embarrassing hacks who are always wrong about everything, even […]

Ugh, Harold Ford Jr. Remember this guy? Lost his senate bid in Tennessee because of the terrible racist ad that suggested he spent all his free time cavorting nude with loose white women, and then became head of the DLC, at which point everybody realized it was maybe not so bad he had not become […]

Ted Stevens didn’t have a chance at winning his Senate race — not after reports surfaced that the RNC had paid $150,000 for his elaborate pine-tar facials and wardrobe of decaying burlap sacks. Thanks to commenter “belmonttau” for the screenshot.

Ha ha, remember back in that debate when Barack Obama was asked how he can represent change if his advisors are a bunch of Billary cronies, and Hillary laughed at him meanly, and he said, “I’m looking forward to you advising me too, Hillary”? He wasn’t lying. He has decided to reconstruct the entire foul […]

If you haven’t yet read this latest Palin interview with conservative hack Hugh Hewitt, we have some advice: do not bother reading her answers, at all — only the questions. Unlike mean sexist Charlie Gibson, fiery “gotcha journalist” Katie Couric, or any other interviewer that Palin has made respectable, Hewitt’s questions are FAIR to the […]

David Brooks allows a made-up reader to address him as “Mr. Kierkegaard” today in his column. Here is what “Existential in Exeter” asks Søren Kierkegaard, who is David Brooks, about Culture: “All my life I’ve been a successful pseudo-intellectual, sprinkling quotations from Kafka, Epictetus and Derrida into my conversations, impressing dates and making my friends […]

Passionate Clinton promoter Lanny Davis is an endearing toady who wears comical pin-striped suits and says things like “Hillary can still win” while everybody else on the teevee panel laughs and laughs. And now he will bring his wonderful brand of aggrieved DLC hackery to Fox News, where he will get to spend the rest […]

KARL ROVE  1:12 pm October 4, 2007

by Ken Layne