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Posts Tagged ‘guns’

Ray Nagin May Very Well Kill Us!

Friday, February 22nd, 2008

Don't fuck with me, two-headed Roman god JanusIs New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin threatening to kill Wonkette with his various automatic weapons? Check out this interview with a local New Orleans news station, where he yells at The Internet for making fun of that photo where he’s being silly, with firearms. He says that because he was criticized for this photo, the “blogs” are now putting his family at risk. Silly Ray, the blogs love you and your “rugged individual” approach towards governance. Besides, bloggers don’t have any weapons with which to inflict harm, since you own every weapon in the country. [WWLTV]


Russians Armed & Dangerous Aboard International Space Station

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

He'll fuck you in space!As Washington and Moscow trade threats about nuking each other from space or whatever, there is another Cold War brewing aboard the doomed International Space Station. The Russian “cosmo”-nauts all have handguns up there! MORE »


Ray Nagin Sets Moral Example For Very Dangerous New Orleans

Wednesday, February 13th, 2008

BANG BANG HAHAHA BANG BANG MOMMY BUY ME ONELook, it’s the Mayor of Hurricane Katrina, Ray Nagin, showing off the New Orleans Police Department’s new guns! He’s setting a good example for the city he cannot control. [AP Photo]


Guns and National Parks: The Perfect Combination

Thursday, January 10th, 2008

Elmer FuckabeeSince the early 1980s, the federal government has required that gun owners must render their guns inaccessible while in our great nation’s national parks, since some yahoos that are obviously, totally gone by now kept taking potshots at various animals and/or other park users. That being the case, 47 of your United States Senators think it’s about time that the yokels got their bald eagle shooting possibilities back.

MORE »


Huck’s Hunting Interview

Wednesday, December 26th, 2007


We were fascinated today by the relentless coverage of Mike Huckabee’s pheasant hunting trip this morning, but never more so than when we actually heard him talking about it. CNN’s ever-trenchant analysis of candidates’ last-minute pandering is followed by exclusive Wonkette video of Huckabee’s on-the-ground interview! [Yahoo News]


So Many Captions, So Little Time

Tuesday, November 27th, 2007

Forget cutting a bitch- Janet’s Got a Gun.
- Vote for My Husband or Else.
- PULL!
- And people thought Bill was whipped. MORE »


The Wait Is Over, Sorta

Tuesday, November 20th, 2007

We have expensive taste in even things we don't likeThe Supreme Court announced today its intention to hear the appeal of the D.C. gun ban case — in early 2008, with a decision to be made by about June. Expect a variety of statements from Presidential candidates over the next few months touching on issues like the Second Amendment, militias, states’ rights, gun control and activist/strict constitutionalist judges. Don’t expect to hear much of anything about giving D.C. denizens equal voting rights or anything, because that’s far too controversial. [Washington Post]


U.S. Army to Literally Use Ray Guns on Iraq

Friday, October 26th, 2007

rayguns.jpgMilitary officials have contracted out to the Galactic Empire for new blasters, heat-seeking ones that might dig up those sand pirates once and for all. Well, not exactly, but military officials did offer the following yesterday: “An oversized ray gun could be deployed to Iraq early next year.” Gloyvin! Ray guns and the Iraq what with all the lasers…. MORE »


Dick Cheney: Hunting Again!

Thursday, October 25th, 2007

I'm Hunting IwaniansAttention, Poughkeepsie, New York: Vice President Dick Cheney is coming to town, and he will be armed. I repeat: HE WILL BE ARMED. We know he will be hunting, but we don’t what he’ll be hunting. Consider yourselves warned.
Exclusive: Cheney to hunt in Dutchess County again {Poughkeepsie Journal]


Who the Hell Called Rudy At the NRA?

Monday, September 24th, 2007


Above, the now famous video of Rudy Giuliani taking a call from “his wife” in the middle of a capitulating speech to the NRA, who, understandably, hate him for supporting stricter gun control measures while mayor than just about any other politician in the country besides those who are or have been mayors of large cities. But maybe his wife wasn’t actually the one who was calling him! If you watch the video, and you’re a fan of either guns or the Constitution (or both!), you might notice that America’s Mayor is, in fact, in the middle of fundamentally misquoting our beloved Second Amendment when his wife calls. Our patriotic colleagues at FreeRepublic certainly noticed. MORE »


Friday, September 21st, 2007

Tipster “Matt” writes: “C-SPAN is covering all the GOP candidates as they kiss the NRA’s ass. Anyway - Rudy’s cell phone just went off and he answered it in the middle of his speech about judges. He made a big show about how much he loves his wife on the phone etc. Anyway it was very awkward and the audience really hates him.”