Tag Archives: guns

  florida. man.

Guns, Boob Leaks, And Wack Doogie Howser: Your Florida Roundup

God’s Waiting Room did not disappoint this week, so let’s dive right in! We’ll begin in Florida’s northeast corner, the part that would probably rather be Georgia (and not the good parts of Georgia), where the good sheriff of Duval County has put his finger on what’s really to blame for all these people shooting each other (no, it’s not the freakishly easy access to guns or the endemic poverty and deteriorating safety net, don’t be silly): Read more on Guns, Boob Leaks, And Wack Doogie Howser: Your Florida Roundup…
  Cold Dead Hands

Gun Roundup: The State Of Our Union’s Gun Nuts Is Stupid As Ever

As gun ownership becomes more about making a half-baked political statement predicated on paranoid delusions and industry propaganda, and less about practical matters like hunting and home defense, it stands to reason that gun owners themselves would display an ever-diminishing quotient of common sense. This is just a theory, but damned if the facts on the ground don’t support it. WITNESS: Read more on Gun Roundup: The State Of Our Union’s Gun Nuts Is Stupid As Ever…
  grab a rifle and stand a post

Ammosexuals Exploit Charlie Hebdo Massacre For Media Attention And Profit

Gollum will stops you from getting the preciouses.
If there is anything your more vocal ammosexuals hate, it’s anyone who calls for gun control laws in the immediate aftermath of a mass shooting. It’s too soon, they will cry. How dare you make this political before the bodies are cold, they will whine. Way to stand on the bodies of dead children to advance your agenda, gun-grabbers, they will derp. Read more on Ammosexuals Exploit Charlie Hebdo Massacre For Media Attention And Profit…
  Total RINO obviously

Michigan Governor Vetoes NRA Bill To Arm Lady-Beaters, World Keeps Turning

This is Raging Rob. Enough said.
In a rare but not unprecedented burst of Republican sanity regarding gun regulation, Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder has done a super decent thing and vetoed a concealed carry gun bill that was crafted, nurtured, and pushed in Michigan by the NRA. The bill, SB 789, would have allowed stalkers and domestic abusers to obtain concealed carry permits, because of course when you’ve been deemed dangerous by a court, you should have immediate access to deadly weapons, it just makes sense. And staggeringly, Gov. Snyder, a REPUBLICAN, were you even listening, did the right thing and said NO WAY. Don’t get too excited about Snyder, because he is normally very happy to do the NRA’s bidding, but today we are not complaining. Read more on Michigan Governor Vetoes NRA Bill To Arm Lady-Beaters, World Keeps Turning…
  Semi-Automatic Assumptions

‘Muslim-Free’ Gun Range Lady Bans South Asian Dudes, Is Definitely Not Racist

She seems as nice as ever.
Surely nobody could have seen this coming! You remember Jan Morgan, that nice lady who declared her Hot Springs, Arkansas, gun range a Muslim-Free Zone, because of all the violence and beheadings that the Muslims are always up to — not to mention the unnerving Muslim ringtones on their phones? It turns out that she’s still quite happily running a Muslim-free establishment, and everything’s just great! Oh, and she has a great method for deciding who’s a Muslim and who isn’t: good old racial profiling. Read more on ‘Muslim-Free’ Gun Range Lady Bans South Asian Dudes, Is Definitely Not Racist…
  second amendment solutions

Open Carry Nuts Yell Nonsense At Texas State Rep, Because That Is Kind Of Their Thing

THE SETUP: A group in Texas called Open Carry Tarrant County feels very affectionately toward guns and certain Amendments. They also like HB195 (“the Texas Constitutional Carry Act of 2015″), a bill before the Texas legislature that would do two main things: Remove the requirement that Texans obtain a permit to carry a concealed handgun, and permit any legally sober Texan to carry a handgun, either concealed or openly upon their corpus, pretty much anywhere except churches, prisons, sporting events, hospitals, saloons, amusement parks, and government meetings. So Open Carry Tarrant County assembled to do a little lobbying for HB195 at the State House! Read more on Open Carry Nuts Yell Nonsense At Texas State Rep, Because That Is Kind Of Their Thing…
  Give Peas A Chance

Alabama School Arms Children Against Bad Guys, With Cans Of Creamed Corn

And if the Reds push the button, it's survival for another week or so!
You pretty much can’t ignore a New York Times headline that says “Alabama: School May Arm Students With Canned Peas.” And it’s exactly what it sounds like: A middle school principal wants to stockpile cans of corn and peas in classrooms for students to hurl at possible intruders as a last defense. Thank Principal Priscella Holley of W. F. Burns Middle School in Chambers County, Alabama, for this brainstorm. She sent a letter home to parents asking them to have their kids bring eight-ounce canned items to school so they can fling ‘em at the bad guys. How’s this for persuasive? Read more on Alabama School Arms Children Against Bad Guys, With Cans Of Creamed Corn…
  Florida's own human crime spree strikes again

George Zimmerman Goes With Wine Jug For Lady-Beating, For Variety

here I am in court again!
Do you wish you could read more words about George Zimmerman, Florida’s own human crime spree and killer of unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin? Has it been too long since you read one month ago about how Zimmerman thinks it would be a good idea for people like him (aka people who like to violence other people on the reg) to buy “self-defense” insurance? You are possibly thinking, “I wonder what George Zimmerman is up to these days, and if has stood his ground at anyone lately,” and if you are thinking that, then today is your lucky day. Read more on George Zimmerman Goes With Wine Jug For Lady-Beating, For Variety…
  Oh Also The Entire Premise of The Story Is False. Did We Mention That?

Texas Walmart Discriminates Against Shotgun Wedding Photo (With Actual Shotgun)

NOT EVEN LIBERAL BLOG WONKETTE is offended by this. Giggling at, yes. Offended, no.
Yr Wonkette likes to think we are firmly in the radical gun-grabbing kneejerk pantywaist big sissy liberal portion of the political spectrum, but once in a rare while we find ourselves reading about something that is so idiotic that Even the Liberal Blog Wonkette has to agree it’s just too stupid for words. For instance, this story from Dallas about a nice couple, Stephanie Wehner and her fiancé Mitch Strobl, who submitted a packet of engagement photos to Walmart for copying. The photos came back with one photo missing — a tender loving picture of the gal, the beau, and the beau’s first true love, a “12 gauge Ruger Red Label Shotgun,” the very first gun he bought himself. Read more on Texas Walmart Discriminates Against Shotgun Wedding Photo (With Actual Shotgun)…
  Lock-N-Load High School

South Carolina Will Learn Your Kids To Love The Second Amendment Proper

Why are they pledging allegiance to an Austrian Glock?
Forget the kerfuffle over the revised Advanced Placement U.S. History standards, or funding for education, or Common Core or any of that. Legislators in the Great State of South Carolina want to bring some Education Reform that will really improve the schools: Two bills have been introduced that will promote appreciation of the Second Amendment, the only part of the Constitution that really matters. One bill would allow schools to offer either marksmanship or gun safety classes as electives, and another would: Read more on South Carolina Will Learn Your Kids To Love The Second Amendment Proper…
  Love Me Deadly

Stalkers! Lady Beaters! Come To Michigan And Pack All The Heat You Can Handle!

Won't someone think of the Second Amendment?
Just when you think that maybe America is no longer the bastion of freedom and individual liberty you thought it was, along comes an inspirational freedom-expanding development like this new Michigan law awaiting the signature of Gov. Rick Snyder. The bill would: Read more on Stalkers! Lady Beaters! Come To Michigan And Pack All The Heat You Can Handle!…
  What you Gun Do?

BREAKING: Idaho Newspaper Trashes NRA, Has Not Yet Been Burned To Ground

Shopped? Probably not, but who knows?
Image from Larry Brown Sports Just thought you Wonkers should know that not everybody in Idaho is a raving open-carry gun-fondler, although that does tend to be the prevailing political view in the Gem State. Consider, for instance, this editorial from Sunday’s Twin Falls Times-News, in which the editorial board takes the National Rifle Association to task for its opposition to even the slightest hint of regulation of guns. Read more on BREAKING: Idaho Newspaper Trashes NRA, Has Not Yet Been Burned To Ground…
  our armed society

Praise The Lord And Hit The Deck: Your 2014 Gun-Fun Roundup!

Am'urca
Guns! Guns guns guns guns guns guns guns. Where were we? Oh yeah, guns! Guns guns guns guns guns guns guns. The past twelve months were yet another banner year for guns in this country. In an era when so many of our civic institutions feel as if they have broken down, it’s nice to know that America still excels in the arena of “lunatics shoot people and then everybody yells at each other about it.” Congrats to all Americans for getting in on this robust industry with seemingly unlimited growth potential. Read more on Praise The Lord And Hit The Deck: Your 2014 Gun-Fun Roundup!…
  the commentczar's in town

You Are The Opitomy Of A Dumb Ass: 2014’s Greatest (Stupidest) Deleted Comments

He seems festive
In reviewing the year’s achievements in deleted comments, we have to say we were somewhat astonished by just how many of the damned things there were. We went back and read a year’s worth of Dear ShitFerBrains columns at a single go, and we survived! We quickly gave up on the idea of crowning a single Best Worst Deleted Comment, because really, they are all insufferable in their own special way. But oh, there were some highlights. Read more on You Are The Opitomy Of A Dumb Ass: 2014’s Greatest (Stupidest) Deleted Comments…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!

awwwwwww
Time for another of our periodic check-ins with the good guys what carry guns and keep us safe from tyranny with their steadfast devotion to Responsible Gun Ownership. First off, we have an inspiring tale from Texas, where Friend of Liberty Martin Gaytan regularly posted about his love of guns on Facebook, including a June repost of this inspiring and irrefutable case for why every American needs a gun: Read more on This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!…
  Pew pew pew!

Florida Makes It Even Easier To Live Out Your Family-Friendly Gun-Humping Fantasies

Is the guy on the right also the guy in the middle, or do all gun-humpers look the same to Yr Wonket?
Orlando has long been a destination for theme-park enthusiasts, so if you’re planning to bring the kids to see Mickey and Minnie, be sure to swing by Machine Gun America, a brand-spankin’-new theme park that opens Saturday, Dec. 20. If you have to ask what kinds of fun things you can do at Machine Gun America, try saying the name out loud. Are you getting it yet? WTSP explains more. Read more on Florida Makes It Even Easier To Live Out Your Family-Friendly Gun-Humping Fantasies…
  Gun Radio: A Radio Show For Guns

George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!

Ready for all comers
George Zimmerman has a lot of free time. His notoriety prevents him from seeking conventional employment, evidently, and he got fired from his last unpaid gig in that the owner of the gun shop he was lurking behind at night for security told him to stop it already. Plus there’s that price on his head. Read more on George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!…
  what comes around goes around

Murder Is Illegal (Even In Montana)

Kaarma Is A Bitch
A Missoula, Montana jury found Markus Kaarma guilty of deliberate homicide, just for killing German exchange student Diren Dede in a carefully laid trap. Even though he used a gun, like a good American Patriot™, AND the kid was ON HIS PROPERTY (CASTLE DOCTRINE! ARGLE BARGLE!). We understand if you missed this one, as it got buried beneath an onslaught of terrible gun murder news. Read more on Murder Is Illegal (Even In Montana)…
  You Didn't Bill-O That

Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Bill O’Reilly was in fine form Tuesday night, addressing the horrors that might result if Elizabeth Warren somehow became President of the United States. You see, if the mildly progressive centrist Barack Obama is a flaming socialist, which he is, then Elizabeth Warren is obviously some kind of super-extra-socialist, so much farther to the left than Karl Marx himself that she may actually exist only in the infra-red portion of the spectrum. O’Reilly laid out the problem with Warren for the Real American People, or as he explained, the threat of Read more on Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Don’t You People Cover The Important Stories?

Dear Sir or Madame: I am outraged by the lack of variety in the .gifs on this blog!
It’s the weekend, and time to catch up on some vital maintenance — refill the poison rat dick stockpiles, top off the Pony cache, and slop out the comments queue, that sort of thing. And we have some real winners from would-be commenters today, ranging from wingnuts who want to set us straight, to would-be allies who we’d rather not invite into our parlor. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Don’t You People Cover The Important Stories?…