guns
Family Research Council Knows Who Is To Blame For Boston Bombing: Sluts And Abortionists
The Family Research Council has taken some time off from hating fags to reaffirm its man-on-gun love. The fine fellows behind it would like to point out that gun control would not have stopped the Boston bombing. (It might have stopped the murder of the 26-year-old MIT police officer shot by those nice Chechen boys, [...]
Like Crazed Person With Gun, Senate Kills Everything It Sees
Hey remember how yr Wonkette told you, over and over, that the Senate’s gun control bill was going to die…with (well really without) votes? We now declare this meme dead along with the bill. Today the Senate votes on the package of amendments to the watered-down gun control bill it has spent three months painfully [...]
Senators Maybe Agree On Gun Background Checks; NRA Psychics Predict That Shootings Will Still Happen
Good news, everybody! There’s been incremental progress toward closing the gun-show loophole in background checks for gun purchases! Senators Pat Toomey (R-Pennsylvania) and Joe Manchin (“D”-West Virginia) announced that they have agreed on a watered-down version of universal background checks that would not be universal but would still expand the checks to cover sales at [...]
In Which We Are Irrationally Hopeful That Not Everyone Is a Total Idiot About Gun Control
With the way so many of our politicians cower in terror every time they spot Wayne LaPierre rushing in their direction, his crazy eyes rolling in their sockets like the googly-eyed panda magnet on our refrigerator, we have thought we might break out the Dance of Joy if just one politician would tell him to go [...]
Super-Christian Radio Guy Generously Remains ‘Neutral’ On Whether Shooting Federal Agents Is A Good Thing
We all know that Bryan Fischer is El Douche Grande at the American Patriarchy Association, but let us not forget that they have a whole second string of less-famous douchitos as well! Consider for instance radio-show guy Buster Wilson, who last graced Yr Wonkette when he espoused the entirely sane opinion that Barack Obama is [...]
Liberty University Allows Guns For Jesus In Classrooms, Kissing Still Of The Devil
Happy Friday! Today in Who Would Jesus Shoot? news, it’s Liberty University! Bringing guns to school isn’t just for terrible tragedies anymore! Stand your grades, followers of Falwell, because this “University” says carrying concealed weapons to your Creationism 101 class is perfectly A-OKAY! Liberty University, the largest religion-affiliated U.S. school, is loosening restrictions for carrying [...]
Objective News Anchor Wishes Obama Would Tell His Elitist Hollywood Scum Friends to End Gun Violence Forever
Campbell Brown is a former CNN anchor and Objective Journalist who is extremely concerned that President Obama isn’t doing enough to combat gun violence. So she took to the always-objective Wall Street Journal editorial page to give the president some objective advice: The president’s campaign against gun violence has produced a stale debate marked by [...]
James O’Keefe Totally PWNS Piers Morgan And Robert DeNiro On Guns, Hahahaha LOL
Can you beat our HIGH SCORE of watching TWO ENTIRE MINUTES of James O’Keefe’s total GOTCHA of Piers Morgan, and “people who work at Robert DeNiro’s production company,” by asking them if they would sign petitions to ban guns in movies and digitally remove guns what are already in movies from those movies that the [...]
Jim Carrey Trolls Fox Angerbears, and Other News From The World Of Guns
Greetings, rabble! Welcome to this week’s sad, sad roundup of stupid gun stuff. It is only our fifth entry in this series and already every week feels like an interminable slog through the most depressing and ridiculous and rage-inducing gun-related precincts of the American id. Just this week yr Wonkette brought you these shit-covered piles [...]
Utah Gun Lobbyist’s AR-15 Stolen Because SUV Couldn’t Defend Itself
In Salt Lake City, a lobbyist for gun enthusiasts will now have to march around holding his dick in one hand and nothing in his other, because his AR-15 was kinda sorta stolen from his locked SUV while it was parked in front of his home. If only he’d been armed! Condolence cards may be [...]
Stupidest Man On Internet Proclaims Only Armed Guard Could Have Stopped Newtown If They Were In Exactly Right Spot And Lanza Didn’t Shoot Them First
Stupidest Man On the Internet Jim Hoft has perpetrated more blogging about the Sandy Hook massacre. As usual, he also performs multiple acts of vandalism on facts and logic. Today’s flaming bag of dogshit on the internet’s porch contains one (1) factual error and one (1) wholly specious conclusion. We shall resist the urge to [...]
Greatest Living American Politician Answers Idiotic Constituent Email: ‘Deaaaad Honky’
Being an elected official at any level and in any part of the country can be a giant pain in the ass. Your job alternates between calling up a list of donors everyday to make sure that they are happy with the tax breaks you gave them, and answering queries and complaints from the moderate [...]
Journey To The Center Of The Derp: Ted Nugent Tries To Mash All Wingnut Buttons At Once
Ted Nugent. Yes Ted Nugent and do not start yelling lovely commenters, because maybe he says this crazy shit all of the time, but this time he has joined up for an interview with a radio talking guy who is just as wingnutted and wrong as him, and they hit every single rile-up-a-redneck-talking point there [...]
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