Tag Archives: guns

  Give Peas A Chance

Alabama School Arms Children Against Bad Guys, With Cans Of Creamed Corn

And if the Reds push the button, it's survival for another week or so!
You pretty much can’t ignore a New York Times headline that says “Alabama: School May Arm Students With Canned Peas.” And it’s exactly what it sounds like: A middle school principal wants to stockpile cans of corn and peas in classrooms for students to hurl at possible intruders as a last defense. Thank Principal Priscella Holley of W. F. Burns Middle School in Chambers County, Alabama, for this brainstorm. She sent a letter home to parents asking them to have their kids bring eight-ounce canned items to school so they can fling ‘em at the bad guys. How’s this for persuasive? Read more on Alabama School Arms Children Against Bad Guys, With Cans Of Creamed Corn…
  Florida's own human crime spree strikes again

George Zimmerman Goes With Wine Jug For Lady-Beating, For Variety

here I am in court again!
Do you wish you could read more words about George Zimmerman, Florida’s own human crime spree and killer of unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin? Has it been too long since you read one month ago about how Zimmerman thinks it would be a good idea for people like him (aka people who like to violence other people on the reg) to buy “self-defense” insurance? You are possibly thinking, “I wonder what George Zimmerman is up to these days, and if has stood his ground at anyone lately,” and if you are thinking that, then today is your lucky day. Read more on George Zimmerman Goes With Wine Jug For Lady-Beating, For Variety…
  2015 is off to a great start for guns! People not so much.

Who Is Being Shot By Their Toddlers Today? Your Saturday Gun-Fun Roundup!

2015 arrived with a big ol’ bang, and by “bang” we mean multiple gunshots that injured or killed people for no reason whatsoever. Here’s your week in guns: Guns Are Family Fun, Says Shooting Range Read more on Who Is Being Shot By Their Toddlers Today? Your Saturday Gun-Fun Roundup!…
  Oh Also The Entire Premise of The Story Is False. Did We Mention That?

Texas Walmart Discriminates Against Shotgun Wedding Photo (With Actual Shotgun)

NOT EVEN LIBERAL BLOG WONKETTE is offended by this. Giggling at, yes. Offended, no.
Yr Wonkette likes to think we are firmly in the radical gun-grabbing kneejerk pantywaist big sissy liberal portion of the political spectrum, but once in a rare while we find ourselves reading about something that is so idiotic that Even the Liberal Blog Wonkette has to agree it’s just too stupid for words. For instance, this story from Dallas about a nice couple, Stephanie Wehner and her fiancé Mitch Strobl, who submitted a packet of engagement photos to Walmart for copying. The photos came back with one photo missing — a tender loving picture of the gal, the beau, and the beau’s first true love, a “12 gauge Ruger Red Label Shotgun,” the very first gun he bought himself. Read more on Texas Walmart Discriminates Against Shotgun Wedding Photo (With Actual Shotgun)…
  Lock-N-Load High School

South Carolina Will Learn Your Kids To Love The Second Amendment Proper

Why are they pledging allegiance to an Austrian Glock?
Forget the kerfuffle over the revised Advanced Placement U.S. History standards, or funding for education, or Common Core or any of that. Legislators in the Great State of South Carolina want to bring some Education Reform that will really improve the schools: Two bills have been introduced that will promote appreciation of the Second Amendment, the only part of the Constitution that really matters. One bill would allow schools to offer either marksmanship or gun safety classes as electives, and another would: Read more on South Carolina Will Learn Your Kids To Love The Second Amendment Proper…
  Love Me Deadly

Stalkers! Lady Beaters! Come To Michigan And Pack All The Heat You Can Handle!

Won't someone think of the Second Amendment?
Just when you think that maybe America is no longer the bastion of freedom and individual liberty you thought it was, along comes an inspirational freedom-expanding development like this new Michigan law awaiting the signature of Gov. Rick Snyder. The bill would: Read more on Stalkers! Lady Beaters! Come To Michigan And Pack All The Heat You Can Handle!…
  What you Gun Do?

BREAKING: Idaho Newspaper Trashes NRA, Has Not Yet Been Burned To Ground

Shopped? Probably not, but who knows?
Image from Larry Brown Sports Just thought you Wonkers should know that not everybody in Idaho is a raving open-carry gun-fondler, although that does tend to be the prevailing political view in the Gem State. Consider, for instance, this editorial from Sunday’s Twin Falls Times-News, in which the editorial board takes the National Rifle Association to task for its opposition to even the slightest hint of regulation of guns. Read more on BREAKING: Idaho Newspaper Trashes NRA, Has Not Yet Been Burned To Ground…
  our armed society

Praise The Lord And Hit The Deck: Your 2014 Gun-Fun Roundup!

Am'urca
Guns! Guns guns guns guns guns guns guns. Where were we? Oh yeah, guns! Guns guns guns guns guns guns guns. The past twelve months were yet another banner year for guns in this country. In an era when so many of our civic institutions feel as if they have broken down, it’s nice to know that America still excels in the arena of “lunatics shoot people and then everybody yells at each other about it.” Congrats to all Americans for getting in on this robust industry with seemingly unlimited growth potential. Read more on Praise The Lord And Hit The Deck: Your 2014 Gun-Fun Roundup!…
  the commentczar's in town

You Are The Opitomy Of A Dumb Ass: 2014’s Greatest (Stupidest) Deleted Comments

He seems festive
In reviewing the year’s achievements in deleted comments, we have to say we were somewhat astonished by just how many of the damned things there were. We went back and read a year’s worth of Dear ShitFerBrains columns at a single go, and we survived! We quickly gave up on the idea of crowning a single Best Worst Deleted Comment, because really, they are all insufferable in their own special way. But oh, there were some highlights. Read more on You Are The Opitomy Of A Dumb Ass: 2014’s Greatest (Stupidest) Deleted Comments…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!

awwwwwww
Time for another of our periodic check-ins with the good guys what carry guns and keep us safe from tyranny with their steadfast devotion to Responsible Gun Ownership. First off, we have an inspiring tale from Texas, where Friend of Liberty Martin Gaytan regularly posted about his love of guns on Facebook, including a June repost of this inspiring and irrefutable case for why every American needs a gun: Read more on This White Lady In Body Armor Shot All Her Neighbors And Lived To Tell! Your Gun Fun Holiday Roundup!…
  Pew pew pew!

Florida Makes It Even Easier To Live Out Your Family-Friendly Gun-Humping Fantasies

Is the guy on the right also the guy in the middle, or do all gun-humpers look the same to Yr Wonket?
Orlando has long been a destination for theme-park enthusiasts, so if you’re planning to bring the kids to see Mickey and Minnie, be sure to swing by Machine Gun America, a brand-spankin’-new theme park that opens Saturday, Dec. 20. If you have to ask what kinds of fun things you can do at Machine Gun America, try saying the name out loud. Are you getting it yet? WTSP explains more. Read more on Florida Makes It Even Easier To Live Out Your Family-Friendly Gun-Humping Fantasies…
  Gun Radio: A Radio Show For Guns

George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!

Ready for all comers
George Zimmerman has a lot of free time. His notoriety prevents him from seeking conventional employment, evidently, and he got fired from his last unpaid gig in that the owner of the gun shop he was lurking behind at night for security told him to stop it already. Plus there’s that price on his head. Read more on George Zimmerman: Be Sure To Buy Your ‘Killing Unarmed Black Kids’ Insurance!…
  what comes around goes around

Murder Is Illegal (Even In Montana)

Kaarma Is A Bitch
A Missoula, Montana jury found Markus Kaarma guilty of deliberate homicide, just for killing German exchange student Diren Dede in a carefully laid trap. Even though he used a gun, like a good American Patriot™, AND the kid was ON HIS PROPERTY (CASTLE DOCTRINE! ARGLE BARGLE!). We understand if you missed this one, as it got buried beneath an onslaught of terrible gun murder news. Read more on Murder Is Illegal (Even In Montana)…
  You Didn't Bill-O That

Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com Bill O’Reilly was in fine form Tuesday night, addressing the horrors that might result if Elizabeth Warren somehow became President of the United States. You see, if the mildly progressive centrist Barack Obama is a flaming socialist, which he is, then Elizabeth Warren is obviously some kind of super-extra-socialist, so much farther to the left than Karl Marx himself that she may actually exist only in the infra-red portion of the spectrum. O’Reilly laid out the problem with Warren for the Real American People, or as he explained, the threat of Read more on Bill O’Reilly: Elizabeth Warren Will Seize The Means Of Production And Execute The Kulaks…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Don’t You People Cover The Important Stories?

Dear Sir or Madame: I am outraged by the poor quality of the .gifs on this mommyblog!
It’s the weekend, and time to catch up on some vital maintenance — refill the poison rat dick stockpiles, top off the Pony cache, and slop out the comments queue, that sort of thing. And we have some real winners from would-be commenters today, ranging from wingnuts who want to set us straight, to would-be allies who we’d rather not invite into our parlor. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Don’t You People Cover The Important Stories?…
  I Was A Idiot For The FBI

Shooty Screamy Former Police Chief: I Was An Undercover G-Man

Mark Kessler shoots a picture of a clown while pretending it is Nancy Pelosi
Remember that insane screamy gun-humper guy Mark Kessler, who got canned from his job as police chief of Gilberton, Pennsylvania, after posting a bunch of YouTube videos where he shot at photos of Nancy Pelosi and called on patriots to fight the tyrannical government and wanted to cleanse America of libtards, and liberal reporters and other enemies of freedom who all “take it up the ass”? The guy who even the “Oath Keepers” militia thought was a tad too radical? Last we heard from him, he was maybe going to get a reality teevee show or team up with another screamy shooty guy to form a legion of stupidheroes? Read more on Shooty Screamy Former Police Chief: I Was An Undercover G-Man…
  A Good Girl Without A Gun

School Shooting Foiled By Unarmed Teen Using Words (Also Cops)

Just another day at school
A possible shooting rampage at a rural Utah high school was foiled Monday when an alert student saw a 16-year-old with a gun in his waistband and reported it to the school’s resource officer. The incident at Fremont High School in Plain City, Utah, was resolved by law enforcement, without any armed teachers or open-carrying civilians coming to the rescue, which we are given to understand is impossible, so the whole thing was probably just another false flag incident aimed at taking away Americans’ guns. Read more on School Shooting Foiled By Unarmed Teen Using Words (Also Cops)…
  Tree Of Liberty Has No Comment At This Time

Anti-Government Loon Shot Up Austin, Has Nothing To Do With Other Anti-Government Loons

Tea Partier, or Renaissance Fair anachronism?
Here’s something you may have missed if you spent the weekend driving to Missoula and back so you could read some Kurt Vonnegut lovey-dovey stuff at your boss’s wedding. An antigovernment gun nut drove around downtown Austin, Texas, in the wee hours of Friday morning, firing over 100 rounds at police headquarters, a bank, and the federal courthouse. He also tried to burn down the Mexican consulate. Read more on Anti-Government Loon Shot Up Austin, Has Nothing To Do With Other Anti-Government Loons…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

A Responsible Gun Owner Thanksgiving

Not related to the story but CUTE.
With the annual Harvest Feast nearly upon us, when we give thanks for all our blessings, especially the Second Amendment, which makes all other blessings possible, let’s take a quick look at how America’s Responsible Gun Owners are keeping themselves safe from crime and preventing tyranny. Read more on A Responsible Gun Owner Thanksgiving…
  he seems nice

With Friends Like This Weirdo, Open Carry Doesn’t Need Enemies

Good point, Rob.
Meet Rob Kinnison, your new face of open carry! For the uninitiated, “open carry” is the practice of walking around in public with a loaded gun strapped to you just because you can, and you don’t care that people might be scared because you think those people are ignorant and need to be exposed to guns whether they like it or not, even if they may have PTSD from something awful that happened to them in the past, and seeing you with your gun in the grocery store makes them feel like they’re going to pass out and die, and the stress you’re causing them is literally damaging them physically, but you don’t give two shits about that; in fact you don’t even really think about it because you are deficient in empathy, common sense, and manners. Read more on With Friends Like This Weirdo, Open Carry Doesn’t Need Enemies…
  Firing Blanks In The Culture War

America-Hating Libs Murder Veterans Day Because They Fear Guns. Or Not.

Why not just let the kids know what WW I was really about?
Thank heavens we’ve got a good Culture War overlay for your Veterans/Armistice/Remembrance Day, America. According to a number of rightwing websites, the gun-hating (and hence Freedom-hating) liberals in charge of the Eau Claire, Wisconsin, School District have completely cancelled Veterans Day programs, denying children of a chance to learn about what makes their country great. Read more on America-Hating Libs Murder Veterans Day Because They Fear Guns. Or Not….
  I Hear America Derping

Facebook Gun Hero Explains Assassinatin’ Beats Voting Every Time

Other than *that* it's a pretty compelling argument
From the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence Facebook page comes the above screenshot of a cheerful Election Day message from a pro-gun, pro-insurrection Facebook thing. The Facebook group is still up, though they’ve removed the image and the accompanying text, which read: Read more on Facebook Gun Hero Explains Assassinatin’ Beats Voting Every Time…