Tag Archives: guns

  Fear Of Peter King Perfectly Normal

Muslim-Hatin’ Rep: But Are White Terrorists Even Terrorists, Really?

Damn it, denial IS TOO a strategy
Congressfireplug Peter King (R-NY Somehow) was not at all impressed by last week’s report from the New America Foundation, which found that more Americans have been killed by rightwing terrorism than by Muslim extremists since 9/11. King serves on the House Homeland Security Committee, so he’ll have you know that mere numbers don’t tell the whole story, and also the report was carried in the New York Times, so it’s obviously worthless. There’s just no way that white supremacists and sovereign citizens are more dangerous than jihadis, because Pete King does not believe that. Read more on Muslim-Hatin’ Rep: But Are White Terrorists Even Terrorists, Really?…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: The Illiterate, The Perverse, And The Deranged

Just try to keep the Yaks happy
The deleted comments game is a weird business — sometimes you can predict what topics will draw a lot of crazy comments — guns, Islam, and the Duggars, especially — and then sometimes, there’s a huge news story that doesn’t quite bring out nearly as much derp as we expected. For instance, we were sure that we’d be devoting most of this week’s Dear ShitFerBrains to this week’s Supreme Court decisions: Thursday’s Obamacare ruling and Friday’s complete destruction of America via Ghey Marrying. But apparently those were so traumatic that the Usual Crowd was too busy buying canned foods for the bunker and commiserating on rightwing sites. No doubt after the shock wears off, they’ll begin venturing to Wonkette to tell us precisely which torments we’ll all face in Hell. Ah, but we did hear a fair bit about the Confederate flag, so at least there’s that. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: The Illiterate, The Perverse, And The Deranged…
  the apocalypse starts right here right now

Flatworms, Flesh-Eating Bacteria And Rick Scott (But We Repeat Ourselves): Your Florida Roundup

The South Gon’ Rise Again (in a not-racist way this time, honest)
Greeting, Wonketteers. Are you ready to take a well-deserved break from your buttsechs gay marriage orgies and sojourn with me down to Your Very Favorite Land of Snakes and Swamps, a dystopian hellscape that not even Wes Anderson could make adorable? Sure you are! Let’s get to it. Read more on Flatworms, Flesh-Eating Bacteria And Rick Scott (But We Repeat Ourselves): Your Florida Roundup…
  But what about black-on-black crime???

Surprise, America, Your Worst Terrorists Are White Wingnuts!

Not an actual terrorist, just a sympathizer
Here’s something that’s sure to make wingnuts scream about reality’s liberal bias. A new study by the New America Foundation concludes that since 9/11, white rightwing terrorists have been far deadlier than jihadists. Unfair, of course to start counting after 9/11, because all terror begins and ends with 9/11. Also, Fox News is pretty sure there haven’t been any rightwing terrorist attacks at all, so you may want to take these think-tank guys with a grain of salt. Or gunpowder. Read more on Surprise, America, Your Worst Terrorists Are White Wingnuts!…
  america fuck yeah

Rep. Steve King: Who Cares About A Few Massacres When You Have All This Freedom?

Good Ol' Fashioned Nightmare Fuel
Iowa Republican congresscantaloupe Steve King had a few thoughts about Barack Obama’s treasonous attack on freedom last week, when the president said the United States is pretty exceptional, and not in the good way, when it comes to mass killings, and that “this type of mass violence does not happen in other advanced countries.” For one thing, said King on a rightwing radio show in Iowa, it does happen, sometimes, just not nearly as often as it does in the USA — which was Obama’s point anyway. But for another thing, we can’t do anything to prevent it without making America a worser, less Americanly Exceptional Freedom Landy place: Read more on Rep. Steve King: Who Cares About A Few Massacres When You Have All This Freedom?…
  Bad Analogy Theater

Tucker Carlson Revives Hilarious ‘Disarm The Secret Service’ Gag From 2013

Is open carry allowed in theFox studios? Just asking.
On Fox & Friends Saturday, Newstwerp Tucker Carlson had some Deeply Apolitical Thoughts on President Obama’s shocking politicizing of last week’s massacre in Charleston, reviving a completely original NRA talking point from 2013: If Obama hates guns so much and wants to take everyone’s guns away because guns are evil, then why doesn’t he have his Secret Service detail go without guns, huh? HUH? This was generally regarded on the right as the smartest idea ever heard since the last time some knucklehead brought it up. Read more on Tucker Carlson Revives Hilarious ‘Disarm The Secret Service’ Gag From 2013…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: What Did You Do In The Race War, Daddy?

Hey, Sunbutt, it's the Solstice. Go do your job.
You will probably not be greatly surprised that a large number of our deletia this week came in response to stories about the horrific massacre in Charleston. One story, more than any others — about speculation on Fox News that this was a hate crime against Christians — really brought out the trolls, possibly because even though the story noted that the shooter had told a survivor that his goal was “to kill black people,” it was still early on enough that some people were still comfortably in denial. Or just idiots. Read more on Deleted Comments: What Did You Do In The Race War, Daddy?…
  You And Your Racist Friend

Charleston Killer’s Pals: You Wanna Kill Black People, That’s Your Bidness

Figured you didn't need to see that Roof guy's face anymore
Among other things we’re learning about confessed Charleston massacre perpetrator Dylann Roof is that not only was he motivated by hatred of black people, but his friends knew about it and were entirely too nonjudgmental about his plans for starting him a little race war. Kids, we’re in favor of tolerance, but “It’s All Good” really is not a useful moral stance. Read more on Charleston Killer’s Pals: You Wanna Kill Black People, That’s Your Bidness…
  Here's a fucked up thing

NRA Dude Identifies Real Charleston Shooter. Surprise, It Was The Black Pastor!

RIP
We have only begun to graze the tip of the iceberg when it comes to obscene, disgusting wingnut reactions to the Charleston mass murder that ended the lives of 9 black churchgoers, aged from 26 to 87, on Wednesday night. So we guess it’s time for NRA people to start saying words, and surprise, they are not good words. Charles Cotton is a member of the NRA’s board, and he knows who killed those people. No, not Dylann Storm Roof, the alleged gunman who has since confessed, silly! It was Rev. Clementa Pinckney, state senator and pastor at Emanuel AME Church, according to Cotton. How did Pinckney manage that? By voting against a bill that would have allowed people to carry concealed guns in church, of course! Read more on NRA Dude Identifies Real Charleston Shooter. Surprise, It Was The Black Pastor!…
  A Shot In the Derp

New Study: No, Dear, The Answer Isn’t More Guns

Not much of a deterrent to crime, but kawaii as anything
Writing for a politics blog is weird. Yr Dok Zoom had just finished saving an earlier version of this piece Wednesday night when he opened a beer and decided to look at Twitter before heading to bed. That wasn’t such a great idea, in terms of sleeping well. And so we shall reframe what had just been an interesting bit of research into a direct reply to the geniuses who know, deep in their hearts, that when two or more are gathered in God’s name, at least one must be carrying a gun, and then mass shootings would be even rarer than they actually are. Read more on New Study: No, Dear, The Answer Isn’t More Guns…
  A Mighty Fortress Needs More Guns

Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston

This would fix everything
That was fast! It only took a few hours for Fox to toss up an editorial explaining that the best explanation of why six women and three men were shot to death in their church Wednesday night is that nobody in the church was packing heat like they should have been. Read more on Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston…
  Why does he always have to politicize everything?

President Obama Divides Nation, Says Charleston Shooting Involved Gun

President Obama spoke briefly about the church shooting in Charleston that left nine dead, in what the Department of Justice and other authorities are investigating as a hate crime. There’s no official word from the feds on what kind of hate crime, so per Fox News and other rightwing “news” outlets, it’s likely the alleged shooter spewed racist epithets and wanted to take his country back from the black congregation because he was primarily motivated by his hatred of Christians, of all races. Read more on President Obama Divides Nation, Says Charleston Shooting Involved Gun…
  just kidding they're all racist assholes

Wingnuts React To Charleston Church Shooting With Thoughtful Gravitas We’ve Come To Expect

Unlike wingnuts, that ugly dog is actually lovable.
Our headline is a flat-out lie. Wednesday night in Charleston, a white gunman identified as Dylann Storm Roof allegedly sat and prayed with black churchgoers at a bible study for an hour, and then opened fire, killing nine people, including the pastor, Clementa Pinckney, who was also a South Carolina state senator. As he continued to shoot, a survivor reports that Roof said, “I have to do it. You rape our women and you’re taking over our country. And you have to go.” Unless this particular church has a reputation for raping our women and taking over our country, that sure sounds like a hate crime, and we don’t mean against Christians. Read more on Wingnuts React To Charleston Church Shooting With Thoughtful Gravitas We’ve Come To Expect…
  You were expecting something else?

Fox News Condemns Vicious Hate Crime In Charleston — Against Christians

And now this shit
This is something you don’t see every day. Or ever. But the dimwits at “Fox & Friends” are quite upset about an alleged hate crime committed by a white man that left nine people dead in Charleston, South Carolina. (We’d call it terrorism if the suspect were dark-skinned and Muslim, but he’s not, and we all know white men don’t do terrorism.) Read more on Fox News Condemns Vicious Hate Crime In Charleston — Against Christians…
  'No More Hurting People. Peace'

Gunman Kills 9 At Black Church In Charleston, Clearly An Isolated Incident

A white gunman sat and prayed for an hour with members of Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina, on Wednesday night, then started shooting. Nine people are dead, including the church’s pastor, Rev. Clementa Pinckney, who also served in the state senate. There were only three survivors. State and federal law enforcement are investigating the shooting as a hate crime. And Jesus Christ, what is wrong with America? Read more on Gunman Kills 9 At Black Church In Charleston, Clearly An Isolated Incident…
  It's gold Jerry GOLD!

Texas To Build Very Own Gold Stash Inside Giant 20-Acre Mattress

And Glenn Beck isn't even governor!
Texas is pretty busy checking off items on its rightwing-obsession bucket list. It’s got open carry for handguns, voter ID to keep the Wrong People from voting, it’s aggressively not regulating chemical plants, and since you never know when the impending collapse of America is coming, it wants to pump up all the oil right away. Now, to keep some segment of the Glenn Beck crowd happy, Texas is building its very own gold depository so the state will be safe when the rest of “America’s” economy goes belly-up. We imagine the state is also getting ready to start hoarding canned food and building a bunker, too. OK, more bunkers. Read more on Texas To Build Very Own Gold Stash Inside Giant 20-Acre Mattress…
  Frontiers of science

Colorado Man Shoots Own Foot To See How That Feels

These things happen
Sometimes, authority figures simply don’t have any respect for people carrying out empirical research. Like that 16-year-old Florida girl who got expelled from school for making a balloon full of hydrogen go boom, or the Los Angeles teacher who was suspended for letting a kid design a project that used electricity to propel a tiny projectile. Or poor Adam Hirtle, 30, of Colorado Springs, Colorado, who “told investigators he shot himself in the foot Wednesday night because he wanted to know what it felt like.” With attitudes like that, it’s a wonder we ever made to the moon. Come to think of it, we overlooked a few Nazis’ war criming to do that job. Read more on Colorado Man Shoots Own Foot To See How That Feels…
  Also Needs Advice On Avoiding Publicity

Arizona’s ‘F*ck Islam’ Hero Selling Motorcycle To Buy More Guns, Obviously

Poor bastard can't even afford a shirt
Show some respect for Jon Ritzheimer, the professional victim who organized the Great Big Scream At A Mosque Rally in Phoenix, proudly posed in his “Fuck Islam” t-shirt, claimed he has been targeted for death by radical Muslims, and whined — in the very same Facebook post — that “Not one news out let will interview me” but also “I just want me and my family to disappear” from public view. So of course, he’s in public view again. He’s selling his motorcycle so he can afford the necessities of life. Not food or rent, silly; he needs to buy more guns, because his life is still in great danger! Read more on Arizona’s ‘F*ck Islam’ Hero Selling Motorcycle To Buy More Guns, Obviously…
  Yet Another 'Another American Revolution'

Ted Cruz Supports Gun Control, To Protect Ted Cruz

Be vewwy quiet. I'm hunting Dewegates!
Hey, Ted Cruz, what’s your next cool fundraiser idea? Wow, a chance for some lucky gun-humping donor to go shootin’ with the senator? That sounds like more fun than staying up all night playing RISK with Rand Paul! Funny thing though; the contest requires that the winner be able to pass a background check. It’s in the fine print, which specifies that the “Sponsor” of the sweepstakes — the Cruz campaign — must verify that Ted Cruz will be at least nominally safe with his brand new huntin’ buddy: Read more on Ted Cruz Supports Gun Control, To Protect Ted Cruz…
  Flying Still Easier Than Voting In Texas

TSA Way Better At Catching Breast Milk Than Terrorists Or Weapons

Two by two, hands of blue
Next time you’re taking off your shoes and getting virtually nekkid in the airport scanner, you might want to keep this little factoid in mind: You’re probably receiving closer scrutiny than some of the people working in the airport. The Transportation Security Agency just did a cavity search on the nation’s airports and found 73 people working in the airline industry who should have been flagged for their “terrorism-related category codes” as security risks. Read more on TSA Way Better At Catching Breast Milk Than Terrorists Or Weapons…
  Irony Meter Explodes

Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’ Want Abortion Clinic Closed To Protect Kids From Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’

People who wouldn't let their kids see an R-rated movie take them to rallies to hold bloody fetus posters.
We’ll grant this much to the fetus fetishists of the “pro-life” crowd: they’re endlessly imaginative in coming up with new ways to make it harder for women to get access to a legal medical procedure. Take the fine folks in the Alabama Senate — please, take them! — who passed a bunch of restrictions and requirements for clinics that perform abortions (mandating the same structural standards as surgical facilities and hospital-width hallways, for instance). The Alabama Women’s Wellness Center (AWWC) in Huntsville opened a new office designed to comply with the restrictions, with the added benefit of having a full parking lot so patients wouldn’t have to walk past protesters offering them “counseling” by screaming “baby murderer” in their faces, from the sidewalk. But now, state senators are expected to pass a law that would prohibit abortion clinics from operating within 200 feet of a school — and the AWWC just happens to be across and down the street from a middle school that’s being refurbished and will be re-opening as a magnet school in the fall. How conVEENient! Read more on Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’ Want Abortion Clinic Closed To Protect Kids From Alabama ‘Pro-Lifers’…